I only have one word for you...

From Singles 2009

Language lesson

From photo a day

This one is for everyone who is not an Australian...or, at least, for all the Norte Americanos.

Finally, on Thursday, Kevin and I went for the movie-meal deal at - Fasta Pasta.

Now, here's the lesson.

Those words rhyme.

They rhyme with "FAST".

In Australia pasta ALWAYS rhymes with fast - not just when you are being cool and choosing the movie-meal deal before seeing "Watchmen".

More, you ask.

Fillet.... rhymes with millet.

Herbs....has an "h" sound.

Aluminum... acquires an extra "i" : al-u-min-i-um. I guess if you save up enough "r"s (Melbourne, Cairns) you can cash them in for an extra vowel.

Super = Supa; Tipper = Tippa; Oscar = Osca; you get the idea. People here, no doubt, think I'm half retarded when I have ask them to spell their dog's name: Pipper/Pippa?

Missing another cool event

Normally, I'm missing my favorite musical performers. This week, however, I'm missing my opportunity to (once again) make history!

First, let us step back. I am thankful that Kevin informed me that this was the Buddha's birthday celebration weekend at South Bank.

From ourbrisbane.com.au:

Buddha Birth Day Festival 2008
2 – 4 May 2008
South Bank Parklands

Come along and bring the family to the 12th annual Buddha Birth Day Festival at South Bank. There’s heaps to see and do with 300 performers, two performance stages, children’s amusement area, lots of delicious vegetarian food stalls, an art exhibition and various workshops.

I inserted that quote as a bit of a thrill for non-Australian readers. "Heaps". For my Australian readers- in the US you'd only hear the adjective "heaps" on some black and white film made in the 40s or 50's and then it would be by some corny, teenage or slightly younger boy. Heap is more commonly a verb. "They continued to heap on the abuse."

But, I'm getting off topic.

Each morning at 7:45 they are having free Tai Chi classes. Great. Except I'm WORKING. Still- I have Friday off...and on Friday they are hoping to have the largest Tai Chi class in the Southern Hemisphere!!!! Oh boy! Oh boy!

But, alas. My long awaited echocardiogram is scheduled for that morning at 8 AM!

I will have to be satisfied with my efforts as a freshman at OSU in helping to set a world record for largest game of musical chairs.

Australian messages

Sometimes I'm really tickled by signs or cautions I read or see or hear in Australia. I'm guessing Australians don't find them humoro(u)s. I've watched some of their comedies.

Now for some examples:

On the Gateway Motorway (and likely other similar places)....

"Toll Evasion is an Offense".

I love this threat! It is so civil and yet it carries with it a tone of social sanction. I feel dirty and unlovable even contemplating cheating the toll.

This is my favorite, however. It is said in a very soft, very hurried voice following an advertisement for buying property in Brisbane. (Fortunately, they run the ad frequently on the radio. It took several listens to get it all.)

"The advice in this commercial has been prepared without considering your circumstances."

Wow. I haven't really figured out yet what this means about Australia and Australians. Naive? Excessively psychotic? Do throngs of Australians really believe that the radio is talking TO THEM? That advertisers want what is best for the buyer? That, this isn't JUST AN AD? Is the government outrageously cautious? Overly protective? (And, yet, if that is the case- why don't all doors exiting public buildings open outward? Why don't all lawn mowers require you to hold on to the handle to keep the blades spinning?- not that that is a problem (blades spinning) with our mower. Surely safe escape from burning buildings and keeping fingers from being sliced by folks wanting to reach under the mower would be more serious and much more common problems. I actually know a reasonably intelligent woman who lost part of a finger from this sort of (judgement) error.)

Lest you think I'm making this up, go ahead and google that phrase. The first page of 10 citations are all from Australian financial institutions. Maybe it is because this is Google.au? Or, maybe other people (read Americans here- cause the citation would have to be in English for me to understand. Sure, we could look to the UK, too. Not sure what you'd find there.) don't think this way.

Finally, there is the sign that begins this post. Were you like me...did you initially read this as suggesting that people desiring suicide should choose to jump from bridges rather than walk in front of trains? Obviously, Queensland Rail would prefer if someone else had to clean up the mess.