End of Darwin

Sunday.

We began the day by grabbing what we thought would be a fabulous breakfast at the Duck's Nuts Restaurant up the street. So did half a million Lions. (The Lion's are in town. That is why we had a bit of a challenge finding a room.) The good folks at Duck's Nuts are not prepared to cope with people sitting at most of their tables AND ordering food! It was a long, long, long wait and Ann was getting antsy and grumpy.

After lunch we spent the day wandering through the city, again. This time-

The Botanic Garden

The Museum of the Northern Territory

Mindil Beach

Doctor's Gully

The Botanic Garden was very nice- as most of the gardens are in the capital cities of Australia. I particularly enjoyed the children's garden with its fabulous tree house. We climbed all the way to the top- but only Kevin slid down the slide at the end. He posited that adult pants are not as slippery as kids pants. I wonder.

The Museum of the NT does not allow photography of their art exhibits. But, that's OK. We were more interested in the natural history part of the museum. Once again we were confronted with the fact that "nature" in Australia- particularly the NT- is trying to kill you. First and once again- cyclone Tracy. Two rooms of photos and recorded remembrances of destruction. In one large closet you can experience (something like) the sound of a cyclone. Horrifying. Haunting.



Then, there is a taxidermied (my own verb, incidentally), 17 foot, 1700 pound crocodile, Sweetheart. He was accidentally killed while capturing him for relocation. They didn't like the way he was putting teeth holes into the boats of fishermen.




Finally, and what I really wanted to see, there were mounted box jelly fish and blue ringed octopus (which wikipedia tells me is one of the most venomous animals on the planet!) My camera kept insisting that the photos of the jelly fish- which can kill a child, put a woman in the hospital for 2 weeks and a man in for 3 days...and you can't stop the screaming!!!!!! - was inadequate ("Hey man, your photo sucks. Where'd you learn to focus? Hold the damn camera still, will ya?" Don't buy a camera from NYC. Attitude.) So, I didn't try to photograph the octopus which is only the size of a golf ball! but, is still capable of killing 26 people within minutes!!!!!

Kevin wants to point out that I am the sick one.

We took the shore walk to Mindil Beach where they were setting up for the Sunday Market. It was still about 90 minutes away- so we just ducked into the Casino to remind ourselves that we aren't interested in gambling- and walked on to Doctor's Gully for "Aquascene"!

I would be remiss here if I failed to mention that all through this afternoon's walk I am constantly asking Kevin to look at my skin. I am convinced I am burning...but I arrive back in Brisbane unscathed.

Aquascene! for the last 50 years people have been coming down to the dock at Doctor's Gully at high tide to feed bread to fish. That's right. They are rather big fish- as you might imagine. The crowd on Sunday was primarily composed of milk fish, cat fish, and mullet. I hope the photos convey some of the ravenous enthusiasm of the fish.



Finally, we ended the evening at Darwin's Deck Chair Cinema watching "Sweeney Todd" under the stars. It was fun- even though I had to watch it one eyed as I'd lost the screw from my left lens while waiting to be served at the snack bar before the film. Ugh. Interestingly, the feeling of immersion you get watching a big screen doesn't happen when you close one eye. The experience feels more like watching a picture of the movie screen. I was always aware of the borders of the screen and the trees and sky surrounding it. Oh, and the possum who was bopping through the rows inspecting every one's packages for food with which it could abscond.

Darwin C

Saturday.

7 AM we boarded the van along with our traveling companions from Ontario. (We had met them at the Indo-Pacific Marine. We don't know their names- but we keep turning up at the same places.) Kevin and I are pleased to find that we are not the oldest people on this tour. We come very close to being the youngest! Woo Hoo! Go Youth Shack!



Our first stop is the Fogg Damn wetlands. At the end of the dry season there are hundreds of thousands of birds here. That would be cool! That would be October. Still, it is glorious seeing all those egrets and geese and water lilies and cat tails...even a wallaby and a croc! (By the way, the croc is in the photo....Just on the shore at about 1:30.)

Next- the jumping crocodile cruise down the Adelaide River. Yes! As our boat glides down the river the local croc's come swimming over for their every-third-hourly hunk of pork. The croc feeder hangs the meat on a piece of string suspended from a fishing pole like structure. First, she slaps it on the surface of the water to attract
. attention.* Once the croc is focused and zeroing in on the tidbit, she raises it out of the water. The croc gets into position then raises out of the water to snap at the meat- which our guide has pulled up even higher and out of reach. Each croc must jump at least twice. I think that is in their contract. On the way back the croc feeder becomes a kite feeder and tosses bits of meat into the air for the kites to catch mid-air. She is a bit nervous about this- afraid of being sliced open by their talons.




Don't be afraid to tell us "you don't believe your eyes". We were told that would happen to the people back home.

Lunch. Kevin and I make the same salad- without any communication. Lettuce-less.

Finally- Litchfield Park. Termite mounds. Water falls. Swimming in beautiful clear water pools that have been deemed free of "salties".



*This was Zelda's addition. She has a new trick- jumping onto the desk and typing.

Darwin II

It is, no doubt, obvious what happens when I spend a week between doing something and writing about it. The details drop out and the writing becomes terse. I resort to lists.

So, here goes.

Friday in Darwin:

1. Walking tour of Darwin hitting most of the high points downtown as indicated by the local guide book. The history of Darwin seems primarily defined by destruction. First, Darwin was attacked by the Japanese during WWII ala Pearl Harbour. Then, on Christmas Day 1974 Cyclone Tracy flattened the city. So, there aren't much in the way of "old" buildings remaining. There is still at least one WWII oil storage tunnel remaining- but we arrived too late to walk through it.

2. Lunch (Fish and Chips) at Stokes Hill Wharf. More history of the bombings during WWII. I found it interesting that in the 60's or 70's it was a Japanese company that did the salvage work on ships sunk in the harbor. Very clever business people, those Japanese. No doubt, part of the motivation to sink those ships was to later get paid to retrieve them.

3. Indo-pacific Marine- the self described most interesting attraction in Darwin. Forty years ago the founder of this organization (and our guide's wife) created a closed ecosystem that mirrors the reef off the shore of Darwin. It is a large (room sized) pool about 3 feet deep in which live various coral, fish, crabs, (etc) and importantly plankton. It is all fed or supported by sunlight. Only. The water volume is maintained by additions of rain water. There is no filtration. Everything that is born in the pool lives in the pool. Everything that dies in the pool is consumed by the pool. It was very cool. Unfortunately, they do not allow cameras. ???

4. The best part, in my opinion however, was the wall across from McDonald's (where we had breakfast). The building is on a corner and both road exposures are covered with street art. You know I am a sucker for that.

Darwin 1- or Why United is better than Jet Star

It is sort of amazing. The flight from Brisbane to Darwin is about 5 hours long! I could get to LA from Ohio in that amount of time...and that feels like a much bigger change. But, even if we disregard the duration of the flight, Darwin is a serious challenge for travel. Point 2: 9:05 PM departure. Even if it hadn't been delayed- which is was, until 10:15, we would not have arrived until 1:05 AM. (OK. You math(s) gurus- that IS 4 hours and I said five. However, there is a time difference and, granted, it is only 30 min, but, come on, you don't come here for "just the facts".) Point 3: the flight "home" departs at midnight-ish...and arrives at 5:30 AM (late, though- like 6 AM)...then you go to work. Sure, you can try to cram in a nap- but a certain dog will spend 60 minutes either licking, scooting, or just changing position from one side of you to the other. This happens even if you are careful to give her breakfast!

The Jet Star Airbus is very attractive with faux leather seats- but it isn't sleep worthy. No head rest. Minimal recline. And, nothing is free. If you want water, you'll pay. As you will for coffee or food. Unfortunately, you can't buy a pillow or blanket.

And, they fly to Hawaii. Eegads! What sins must you possess to board the purgatory plane?

Important update

Kevin and I both succeeded in keeping Friday May 16 fatality free.

I haven't been able to find out how the rest of Australia did, however. Not for want of looking, I might add.

In the meantime, much to say about Darwin. Just need the time to say it.

Oh Superman- For Mother's Day

We went to the Mt Cootha Botanic Gardens for Mother's Day- along with 50 thousand Brisbanites all sporting picnic baskets. Ugh. Picnics. Combine cooking with packing. Then eat on the ground while ants crawl into your shorts.

Anyway, new at the gardens were some interesting sculptures. Here's the first. And, it can only be paired with Laurie Anderson's song "Oh, Superman"- which is also fitting (note- not seizuring) for Mother's Day.

Not that I am cynical about mother's- particularly my mother- I love her. And, I am an American who likes living in America. With my mother. I also love Laurie Anderson- and this piece is particularly wonderful.

What else could one think about this sculpture but "in your long arms?"



O Superman
O Superman. O judge. O Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad.
O Superman. O judge. O Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad.
Hi. I'm not home right now. But if you want to leave a
message, just start talking at the sound of the tone.
Hello? This is your Mother. Are you there? Are you coming home?
Hello? Is anybody home? Well, you don't know me,
but I know you.
And I've got a message to give to you.
Here come the planes.
So you better get ready. Ready to go.
You can come as you are, but pay as you go. Pay as you go.
And I said: OK. Who is this really? And the voice said:
This is the hand, the hand that takes. This is the
hand, the hand that takes.
This is the hand, the hand that takes.
Here come the planes.
They're American planes. Made in America.
Smoking or non-smoking?
And the voice said: Neither snow nor rain nor gloom
of night shall stay these couriers from the swift
completion of their appointed rounds.

'Cause when love is gone, there's always justice.
And when justice is gone, there's always force.
And when force is gone, there's always Mom. Hi Mom!

So hold me, Mom, in your long arms. So hold me,
Mom, in your long arms.
In your automatic arms. Your electronic arms.
In your arms.
So hold me, Mom, in your long arms.
Your petrochemical arms. Your military arms.
In your electronic arms.

This weekend

We are off to Darwin! Stay tuned...but remember - no fatalities on Friday the 16th!

Fatality Free Friday

May 16.

Get ready. It's a big ambition. 2008 is year 2 of this national Australian program. Last year Queensland was successful- but NSW and Victoria- gee - not exactly team players. Now, I'm not sure if my goal is primarily not to be killed or not to kill someone, though I am sure that it is only applicable when in a car. Probably the car must be moving.

As I said, this is year two. Last year- across the nation there were 6 fatalities. The national average for a Friday is

5.3.

Now, I'm not saying the idea of a fatality free Friday is stupid. But, I am suggesting that, in general, most drivers (Australian and otherwise) do not enter a car and commence driving with a devil-may-care, nonchalant attitude about either dying or killing someone. In fact, I'd put money on my belief that most drivers are always entering the highway with the goal of arriving back home unhurt- let alone undead.

There I go: zombies again.

More on Victimless Leather

Kevin found this update: the victimless leather that was growing at the MoMA has been euthanized! After only 5 weeks it was threatening to over-run the museum!!! Can anyone say "Audrey 2"?

OK.

Slight exaggeration.

Anyway, I am very pleased that I got to see this "living coat"... and I am now wondering if it is still "victimless"?

Another superhero discussion

Kevin and I went to see "Iron Man" last night after work. He told me to be prepared for 2 hours of "awesomeness"-- at least as rated by 94% of rottentomatoes.com reviewers. I was dubious. I have a hard time imagining that awesomeness can be extended over 90 minutes.

What can I say? We enjoyed Robert Downey Jr. and the suit and the technology (computers, robots) in Dr. Stark's lab- But, awesome? And, the tease that the scene at the end of the credits was "the best ever"- no one or no thing can live up to that kind of hype.

What was more interesting to me was Kevin's answer to which superhero he wanted to be. Wonder Woman. He likes the bracelets.

Then he fessed up. He really wants to be Superman. He told me that everyone wants to be Superman.

Me? I'm not the superhero type- I prefer Fox Mulder or Vic Mackey or Jack Bauer or Kay Scarpetta... but I am willing to take a ride in Kevin's invisible car- if he can find it.

The Buddha's Birthday

This is the second holiday weekend in a row. Not bad, I'd say. Last week (Friday) was ANZAC Day. This week (Monday) is Labour Day.

Conveniently, this weekend is also the celebration of Buddha's Birthday. I've introduced that earlier. You remember, I wasn't tai chi-ing.

I did get the chance to venture down to South Bank Friday and Saturday evening to witness the festivities. Lots of lanterns. Lots of vegetarian food. Even the material called "chicken curry", I am told, was actually vegetarian. I didn't try it, however, so I cannot testify to that fact.




The features that stood out for me:

1. Although Buddha was from India, everything - except for the Hare Krishna food stand was Chinese.

2. The Buddhists seem to celebrate by providing opportunities to purchase blessings for a donation.

3. The shrine set up in the Sun Corp Stadium captured virtually every holiday motif I could imagine. Golden idols. Fresh foods. Fresh flowers. Baby Buddhas. Christmas trees. Easter eggs. Birthday cake-like mountains of pink egg-ish things. Go ahead. Look. I'll wait.

4. If you get the chance, learn from my mistake. You bathe the Baby Buddha by pouring water on his shoulders. Not over his head. I'm afraid I'm looking at seven years of bad luck.

I did quite enjoy the performances I stumbled upon just when I was getting ready to leave. I watched a band perform with a variety of interesting of Chinese stringed instruments. This was followed by a lion dance. Then, a couple of dances performed by a troop from the Royal Brisbane International College. I enjoyed their costumes which featured white flowing from their arms. The choreography made much of this- especially the second piece which was set to a selection from the film "Hero" (Ying Xiong- I love "Hero" and the soundtrack. If you haven't figured it out, this is a selection from "Hero" that is playing above) and used "flowing fans" to create moving water. The best, however, were the "martial artists" doing amazing acrobatics- I mean kung fu- all set to a cross between traditional Chinese and gay disco music.

Happy Birthday, Buddha.

Peace on Earth.

An account of the body

Yes. Still. Really.

Also, let it be known that I am officially, as far as ultrasound technicians are concerned at least, a very small person. That was the verdict based on my "outflow track" at Friday's echocardiogram. In addition, I have a small amount of tricuspid regurgitation. We'll see what the health system of Australia makes of this.

I am a bit concerned that even though they "should" say, "Hey, no big deal", that they will find multiple ways to make it outrageously difficult for me. I kept offering the kind folks at the Mater Hospital the letter written by the health department and they kept turning it down. No. They didn't need that. No.

"Do you need to see my identification?" I asked the technician as I was getting ready to leave following the procedure- and hoping that my driver's license would suffice since I had run off without my passport.

"No."

"Don't you need to know that I am really the person you were supposed to be echoing?"

"When I called your name you immediately got up and came with me."

"Oh".

Somehow, I suspect they'll eat up my day off next week. My money is on the option that they will want to filter the ultrasound report through another $100 doctor's visit.

Kevin thinks I am just being cynical.

And, I must admit that overall I am feeling cynical and anxious and depressed lately. I'm calling it "spring withdrawal". Or, maybe, "going on week two of this stupid cold".

Missing another cool event

Normally, I'm missing my favorite musical performers. This week, however, I'm missing my opportunity to (once again) make history!

First, let us step back. I am thankful that Kevin informed me that this was the Buddha's birthday celebration weekend at South Bank.

From ourbrisbane.com.au:

Buddha Birth Day Festival 2008
2 – 4 May 2008
South Bank Parklands

Come along and bring the family to the 12th annual Buddha Birth Day Festival at South Bank. There’s heaps to see and do with 300 performers, two performance stages, children’s amusement area, lots of delicious vegetarian food stalls, an art exhibition and various workshops.

I inserted that quote as a bit of a thrill for non-Australian readers. "Heaps". For my Australian readers- in the US you'd only hear the adjective "heaps" on some black and white film made in the 40s or 50's and then it would be by some corny, teenage or slightly younger boy. Heap is more commonly a verb. "They continued to heap on the abuse."

But, I'm getting off topic.

Each morning at 7:45 they are having free Tai Chi classes. Great. Except I'm WORKING. Still- I have Friday off...and on Friday they are hoping to have the largest Tai Chi class in the Southern Hemisphere!!!! Oh boy! Oh boy!

But, alas. My long awaited echocardiogram is scheduled for that morning at 8 AM!

I will have to be satisfied with my efforts as a freshman at OSU in helping to set a world record for largest game of musical chairs.

I think I am going to live

You have, no doubt, been wondering what fascinating tidbits you've been missing from Australia while I've been recapping our Northern Hemisphere exploits. And, while there has been work and gaming and a national holiday (Anzac Day- Friday 25 April)- there has been, at least for me, much, much, much mucous. Also, coughing, muscles aches, and fever. Already on Monday of last week- just fresh off our trip- I was saying to Kevin that I felt like I might be coming down with something. Like any good virus, however, it waited until my day off to set in with any fervor. That would have been Thurs. And, said Anzac Day on Friday. Then, a work day, Saturday. You get the picture. I only worked about 2 hours on Monday. But, then by Monday evening I could start to feel the cloud lifting. Tuesday I felt weak but almost human- though I didn't exactly sound like one.

Today is Wednesday. I still can't sleep through the night without taking breaks from sleep for some good non-productive coughing. A paroxysm! There! I said it! But, I do believe I am going to pull through. I am a bit worried, however, that I have lost my sense of taste.

Does that ever happen? Can it just go? Poof??

I'm guessing my sense of smell isn't very good yet, either. Perhaps they're traveling together. I haven't yet checked the mailbox for postcards.

Please come back.

And this should have been the first

04/04/08

At the Brisbane airport. My bag- the new red one- the one that lost one wheel on its fist trip with me to Australia- weighed in at 14.7 kg.
"Is that all?" asked the Qantas man behind the counter.

I am traveling light.

On the flight I was tired but found it hard to let go of the movies to nap. I watched:
"Margot at the Wedding"- probably a smart story with fascinating characters and dialog. I was tired, however, and wanted everyone to SPEAK SLOWLY and LOUDLY. Maybe, I am becoming foreign.
"Gone Baby, Gone" - I thought drama/action might fit my mind better. An OK story that needed 20 min removed. Why, I wonder, make the detective's partner his girlfriend? I guess only so he has to lose her when he makes his choice. Otherwise, she has no role in the story.
"Extended Play". "A hilarious Greek film". I didn't laugh. The concept was interesting, however, and in a shorter drama, I might have really liked it. Initially, I thought the end was wrong. The protagonist should be a new man - ala Jimmy Stewart in "A Wonderful Life"- but now I've changed my mind. It is more real.
Finally, the only film I really enjoyed and actually laughed out loud at- though I didn't finish it- again - "Ten Things I Hate About You". Qantas is having a Heath Ledger love fest and while I'd probably have preferred seeing "The Patriot"- THAT film was over 2 hours long! I fast forwarded through the beginning but still the movie service ended before I did.

Luggage pickup at LAX was a breeze. There are fewer red bags than browny ones. Many fewer with green name tags and only 1 with 1 wheel. Too easy.

Reason 47 I don't like to fly United.
In LAX to enter the "sterile zone" you have to queue OUTSIDE on the walkway across the airport drive! Probably 20 min! Fortunately, the day was warm.

Reason 134 I don't like to fly United.
There are no hotcakes at the McDonald's in the United Terminal...let alone tea or hot water!

Reason #1 I don't like to fly United.
Chicago.

In a week or so, I'm going to sort these blog entries so the dates make some sense. Yes. That is the plan.

MoMA

We're on a museum high. Yesterday's visit to the Guggenheim was better than I could have imagined. And so, off to spend Wednesday afternoon in the Museum of Modern Art.

Entrance fee. $20. But, get this, there is NO prohibition against taking photographs. If only I had a working camera!

Because the strategy had worked so well for us the day before, we started on the sixth floor. We had less than 4 hours to do the MoMA. How painful.

Anyway, the first image we saw was across from the first floor elevators. Grayson Perry's "Map of an Englishman". We thought we had to get a copy of that for Steve in Brisbane. Alas, that is not possible.

On the sixth floor was a fabulous exhibit about science, technology and design: Design and the Elastic Mind. We spent quite a bit of time- looking, reading, saying "wow". I can't begin to recall EVERYTHING. I'm not sure I'll even remember the best bits- but here are a few. "Victimless Leather"- a tiny, leather coat growing inside a vial. A simulated garden - silhouettes of grasses and flowers projected onto your wall. They wave gently in response to measurements of the actual breeze outside. They grow relative to the water and light that is measured outside. They supposedly reproduce and send seedlings to start growing "on" other walls- though Kevin and I believe you'd need a second projector to see them there. Multiple, interesting solar panels and solar lights. A devise that measures the rate of tail wagging of your dog and translates that into language. (Zelda doubts that humans would ever program into this device the exquisite level of sarcasm that many dogs (non-labs) possess.) A light wall that "reads" the shadows that are cast and creates an appropriate sound accompanyment. The exhibit was very, very cool- spend a while looking at their web site. It is all there!

We, in no way, had enough time to really appreciate the volume of art that remained - lets see, that would be 5 and 1/2 floors! It was like flipping through a great art catalog. Run! Run! Run! There goes "Starry Night". Quick! Over there! "Christina's World". An ocean of water lilies. Picasso. Picasso. Picasso. Kevin was sorry that Dali's "The Peristence of Memory" was off exhibit. We were both suprised how much we enjoyed Jasper John's "Flag"- up close and personal. A special to-do for museum members meant that the photography gallery was closed. Sigh. But, as it turned out, I didn't have extra time. I want to go back.

Finishing up NYC

Wednesday our first stop was a discount camera store where I learned that nothing costs what the box says and that I cannot get a small camera with a view finder. At least, not there. Not if I want a bit of an optical zoom. Since I hadn't done any homework, not expecting to be doing an emergency camera purchase, I just went ahead with this new Nikon. I'm expecting you will all appreciate the tremendous increase in quality of the photographs.

Then we grabbed some lunch and checked out "The Museum of Sex". Here I go again. I am obviously not from your planet. I was expecting there might be a bit broader subject matter than just sex in humans. Where are the birds? the bees? the sex changing fish? My favorite bit was the video clips of instructing transsexual men how to stand, walk, and get into a car like a woman. I keep intending to check myself. Kevin's pretty good at it.

After we took a very long walk up a crowded and noisy street (Broadway) to see the Museum of Comic Art only to learn that it was closed for the week. Sigh. Walked all the way back and caught the train to New Jersey to see Dave, Annabelle and Kimmi. Thank you for the great dinner, breakfast, and putting us up overnight.



We didn't have long to spend in NY on Friday morning. So, we just strolled through Central Park. It was really quite warm. Just a beautiful day. Then, the subway back to Brooklyn where we packed. Said "so long" to Lance then boarded our car for JFK International. I think I've already told you what a pleasure that place was.

On Broadway

Kevin and I were very psyched to be seeing "Spamalot"- even if, as it turns out, everyone will be seeing it and more easily. It will be playing in both Brisbane and Dayton, Ohio. Ah. Still, we wouldn't have missed spending the week in NY.

We thought we'd see if we could get into a restaurant we found a flyer for in the tourist bureau the day before. Mars 2112. Wow. Eat dinner on Mars. I was convinced that you'd need reservations days if not weeks in advance- but still we hurried over there. After all, it was not yet 6 pm. Perhaps we could slip in before the rush.



There was like no one in the place. We walked up to the maitre d' and he didn't even asked if we had a reservation. We were informed that our flight would take off in 5 minutes. Please stand on the line. Flash a Spock like hand gesture. NaNu. NaNu. (Yes, every TV image IS true!)

About 5 minutes later our ship was ready. We boarded. It was a bit of a bumpy road to Mars. I held on tightly the whole way.

Mars was very red. And the restaurant was very cavernous. It was sort of like living inside Uluru. I'm not sure why there are no windows in Martian restaurants. There was a TV playing the whole time with Martian weather and news. Two Martians tootled about getting their photos taken with diners or just sitting in strange locations watching us. They never came by to see us, however. Kevin and I soon realized that we were just about the only table without children.

Hmmm. I guess I do not quite have down the hip New York mentality. I thought this place would be jumping. Instead, I seem to think like a seven year old.

The food, however, was quick and good. And, the hand dryers in the restrooms were intergalactic!

To "Spamalot". Kevin was a bit let down. He has seen "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" something like 33 hundred times. So, he knows all the lines and he knows what the actor who says them should sound like. And, they don't sound like Clay Aikin. Or, any other American actor, for that matter. (As for me, I'm pleased when I have the opportunity to understand what is being said. A Broadway show isn't the place where I want to be nudging Kevin and asking "What did he say?" "What was funny?") So, for Kevin, it was "pleasant enough". I had a better time. And, I didn't fall asleep. This was a very, very, very good thing.

NOTE- the photo above of the two Martians was borrowed from the Mars 2112 web site. I couldn't take it. No camera. Thank you to Mars 2112. NaNu NaNu

Tuesday with Susette and Cai Guo-Qiang

Kevin and I (and Susette) finally made it to the Guggenheim. Interestingly, it was almost exactly 4 years ago that we first decided to visit- but arrived too late. (We were in town for Lance and Karina's wedding and their anniversary is on Thursday.)

I guess it really doesn't matter that my camera was broken or that no one is permitted to photograph inside the Guggenheim. Both create the same reality. I have no images of my own to share with you the exceptionally cool works of Cai Guo-Qiang. Quick look here before the exhibit is gone and you no longer can!! Cai works in sculpture, painting/drawing, and explosions. Yes. In fact, many of his drawings were done with gunpowder. Wow!

But, I'm getting ahead of myself. The first exhibit that confronts you- whether you decide to start at the top and work down (like we did) or the bottom and work up- is a series of identical white sedans floating up from the floor and pierced with numerous rays of light. (I've only just now learned that they represent a car bomb. Wow. Cai must have been a bit of a scary kid to raise. You've always got to watch the matches!) It is funny. There is nothing violent about it- just beautiful.

Starting from the top then are Cai's gunpowder drawings and video tapes playing of him making these drawing and making his performances of explosions. I must admit I was less excited about seeing him make a black rainbow out of smoke over Edinburgh than I was to watch him set up the gunpowder and fire crackers to make his portrait of (some guy who I couldn't hope to remember.) Unless you've looked at the Guggenheim site, you probably couldn't guess at the beauty and complexity that can be created by explosives. Kevin and I had exactly the same thought. Where can we get some really big paper and gunpowder? Oh, and a hoard of assistants to stamp out the excess flames once the explosions are complete. I'm guessing Fitzgibbon isn't zoned for "art".

Intellectually, however, I was taken by his massive explosive exhibitions he titled "For Extraterrestrials". These were meant to be viewed from space. Cool huh? Just wait! He has a plan for a similar set of booming art "For Mankind"- to be set off on the moon for us to view. He hasn't gotten there yet, however. (I'm wondering if it is possible to set off normal explosives on the moon. Don't they require oxygen?)

Winding down the next big exhibition is a series of sculptures of rent or tax collectors in China. Scary people intimidating old men, women, children, etc. These were originally created in China by Mao celebrating the new society of communism. (I hope I'm getting this correct.) But, in Cai's exhibit, the sculptures were in various states of "not finished". Some were only the metal armatures. Some had only a portion of the clay attached. Those that were finished had never been fired, so as the clay dries it cracks and pieces fall off. I'm guessing its a commentary on Cai's feelings about the message that these pieces originally were designed to convey.

You can tell I was never an art student, can't you? Sigh.

This is followed by sculptures of dozens of wolves that run for hundreds of feet up the spiral of the Guggenheim. As they travel further they begin to ascend- but their journey is abruptly ended by a clear glass plate. Dogs smack the glass and tumble to a heap on the floor. Then, come the hundred tigers- all pierced with arrows. (Note- the wolves and tigers are "life sized and created from sheep skin". They look very real- except the tigers have dog teeth (now that I'm thinking back on it- I think it was all the same mold) and (I'm sure) they have dog penises and scrotums. This is what happens when you take a veterinarian to an exhibit.)

Other large sculptures- a huge, suspended boat which is similarly "arrowed". A real wrecked ship that has been reassembled on a beach of broken ceramic plates and ceramic religious icons (gods or goddesses- I don't remember. I think they were Buddhist.) He has created a "trip" through time looking at his works in one annex. This is navigated inside a bark canoe that floats down a meandering, suspended stream. Really. You can walk around to see the same displays- but if you are patient enough you can wait in line to ride in the little one person boat. Not surprisingly, most of those I saw riding were under 4 and 1/2 feet tall.

After the museum we walked through Central Park and admired the spring blooms. Tulips, daffodils, flowering trees and bushes. It was a glorious day. Susette had to leave then, however. She and Marea had agility class. So, Kevin and I ducked into F. A. O. Schwartz- and then headed to Broadway.

Monday. Bloody Early Monday.

We had a plane to catch. Departing Columbus at 6:35 for La Guardia. Arrive 90 min before.

There isn't much traffic.

I think we both slept through most of the flight.

We caught a taxi and traveled out to Brooklyn to Lance and Karina's (and Max's and Karina's mom's) flat. There, we dropped our bags. We didn't have too much time to fill in the city, so we collected information at the tourist bureau and then just wandered. Our Monday night date was with Carolyn, John, and Dakota in Upper Montclair, New Jersey.

Carolyn picked us up and took us to Dakota's softball game. Unfortunately, Dakota had received a concussion the day before while playing field hockey- a fact that did not make her soft ball coach very happy. So, we didn't get to see her play. We did get to meet the team "mascot", Ed, and his special friend, Flip. Carolyn introduced us as coming from Australia and Ed informed us that that was the home of Dory from "Finding Nemo". And, he had Dory with him. This man has a thing for high school women's sports and animals with fins.

Interesting.


It was so good to visit with Carolyn and John, again. The last time I saw them Dakota was still in a stroller. I don't know where the time has gone.

You're probably surprised that a visit of this magnitude would have a minimal photographic record. That is because it was while I was in NJ that I determined that my digital camera was very, very ill. It has been possessed by some sort of battery vampire. A new pair of Duracell AA batteries will take a few photos- but if you close the camera and hope to take some more later- you will be met with two very, very dead batteries.

Ann is not pleased.

Ohio Log- Cleveland

Finally, I made it back to Cleveland. I was able to spend Friday with my friend Nan and Saturday with Christine. I only wish it could have been longer.

And, maybe that the weather had been a little more sunny and dry.

I got to see Nan's new house for the first time. It is a dome. Very cool. She's only minutes now from the Cuyahoga National Park- which if you haven't had the chance to enjoy- now's the time. We didn't actually go out hiking. We talked about it but let the rain keep us inside. She did take me to where the great blue heron's nest. There were a couple of dozen nests in a handful of trees with large, graceful, loping birds flying in with sticks and twigs. And, me without my camera!

I had a new dish (for me) at The Lemon Grass. Some sort of seafood fried rice. Maybe it had basil. Maybe that was the other dish I contemplated. Anyway, it was very, very good.

Saturday while Nan and Christine were working at their respective veterinary clinics, I visited Wild Oats, Barnes and Nobles, The Noble Road Library, and our old house. They've hung crappy white blinds in the front windows at our place- so I can't peek in. Humph. I did creep a bit down the driveway to check out whether my garden was still in existence in the back. Yes. In some form. Whoever is living there now, I imagine the residents are renting it, doesn't believe in cleaning up a garden in the fall. The front bed was a fright. I wish I could see it in the summer. I'm sure by now the fires of hell have matured and it is stunning.

Christine and I had a great time. Despite the on again/ off again rain and the cold grey day we went to the Cleveland Botanical Garden. They were having a big Japanese Garden theme. Nan had been talking about going. I wonder what she'll think. I was disappointed. The majority of the Japanese garden exhibit is made up of photographs that are hanging about 6 to 8 inches above my eye level.

Still, we enjoyed walking through the various outside gardens which were pretty uniformly brown still- and the two indoor gardens- particularly the rainforest with all the orchids and butterflies.

For Christine and I there was only one way to end our day. Pacific East. Need I say more?

Ohio Log- The Gathering of Friends or We Do Not Totally Suck at Tichu

My mother traded me off on Wed morning in Urbana. We had to get there early because Kevin and I had our big Tichu tournament at 1 PM. (Readers are advised to see last year's entry to appreciate the momentous occasion that Tichu would be for us.) We had a new plan for this year. One we'd already trialed at "The Gathering of Friendless" a couple of weeks earlier. Let the other team get WAY AHEAD- like 600 points- then score repeated Tichu- One-Two's and wrest victory from the other stunned team.

It was a good plan- but we just couldn't make it work. We kept getting points. Our first game we had outrageously good cards. We scored Tichu's, One-Two's. We threw bombs. In the final hand we needed less than 20 points to win. Kevin somehow refrained from calling Tichu despite having 2 bombs. In the end the result was lop sided (1035 to 160). We bore no resemblance to the team who wowed last year's Contract Tichu Tournament with a position that was so far behind as to be mind-boggling.

We advanced.

Wow.

We still could not enact our plan. We managed to get behind. We just never manged to catch up- let alone pass the leaders. We lost: 605- 1095.

Over the rest of that day and the next I don't think I ever came close to winning anything. I DID get to eat at Chipotle's. And, the local Vietnamese restaurant. And, see Gail and Ken and Ken and Peter and Steve and Georgia and Renee and Sam (but sadly not Barb or Sharon or Erin).

Ohio Log- Day Tuesday

Tuesday my mom and I drove most of the way to Cincinnati to the new IKEA store. She had never been to one. I'm an old pro at buying Billy bookcases on two continents. We did IKEA our way with two stops at the cafeteria and one at the snack bar. Oh, and soup and pie on the way home.

When it was all said and done, my mother came home with a new table for Big Bird's cage to rest upon and a new bedspread. I managed to remember that I still needed to travel intercontinentally- so only bought 2 packages of cards.

A big hug for Auntie as we returned through Dayton.

Ohio Log- Day 2

Really, it is STILL day 2. I just took a nap and Kevin drove to Columbus.

Part 2 of Day 2.

Two! Two! Two! One! Two! Two! Two!

I imagine that cheating at Pit is common. It couldn't be JUST our family. Though, honestly, there is very little of mismatched trading going on. (Todd swears he was just passing on what was passed to him.) There is, however, a goodly amount of pre-bell trading. All silent. All above the table. And, no one has ever cornered the market before the dealer rings the bell.

I really enjoyed our Pit and Pizza Party. I wish Kevin could have stayed. Maybe he could have lost more horribly than I did.

Doubtful.

I love my family- but they often seem to have technical problems with my camera. Kevin has a camera shake issue. I don't think he recognizes how AWFULLY slowly my camera works. Sure- you've finished pushing the button- but the camera hasn't begun to open/close the shutter. My mother. She has a problem with cutting off heads. I'll post the entire complement of photographs. She started with only losing Todd- but then when he scrunched down to be with his vertically challenged cousins, we ALL lost our heads!

Ohio Log- Day 1.

Well, it is actually day 2. But, if you arrive about 8 PM following a 26 hour trip and then drive 2 hours where you eat vegetable soup, pumpkin pie, and hug your mom- that doesn’t seem to count. Hmmmm. I guess it does count. What could be better in a day than homemade soup, pumpkin pie, and a hug?

So.

Ohio Log – Day2.

Kevin had picked me up from the airport and driven me home to Versailles. This is now Saturday and we have an important engagement with Cynthia at H & R Block. We need to give her something like $300 to tell the US government that if they want any of our money they need to hit up the big boys in Australia. Here’s their number.

Our appointment is for 10 AM – which is, interestingly enough, the EXACT SAME TIME that auditions begin for “Deal or No Deal” at the Piqua Mall. H & R Block is in the little strip mall just off the parking lot for the Mall. We are met by police directing an unending stream of vehicles turning into the mall drive. Thanks to Kevin’s super mutant powers, however, we immediately find something like the last parking place in the lot associated with the strip mall. Yay.

Our appointment was fine. Easy. Sign the papers that had already been completed and then the credit card invoice. Kevin was eager to return to Columbus where he’s gaming for the next 10 days at the “Gathering of Friends”- but he’s willing to go with me into the mall to see the throngs who are there for the big audition.

Why was I surprised that many appear unwashed and skeevy? I guess I thought if you wanted to get chosen you’d dress up and look like TV-fodder. Silly me. So. Lots of people- many of whom were practicing screaming and clapping.

We picked up an application form. The questions were interesting- and I’d quote them all if I hadn’t given the form to my neighbor, Dixie of the pie crust and catechism fame. She has ALWAYS wanted to be on TV. So, I’ll struggle a bit here and maybe Kevin will help me later.

Your most embarrassing moment.

This is a bit of a challenge- I’m good at embarrassing myself.

When I was in the fourth grade, it was a big thing to pass “cooties”. These are like nerdy germs, I guess. I think you had to be there. Anyway, in the lunch line from the front of the line came a big run of K****’s cooties. I turned around and pass them. To C. K****, herself. Arghhhh.

When I was in the sixth grade I was wearing this one piece, red, white, and blue, zippered all the way down the front koolot outfit. I was at my locker and thinking I was taking off my jacket I unzipped my clothes all the way from top to bottom.

Then there was the time I lost my half slip while walking across the parking lot on my way to work at Kohl’s Department store.

Or, the time I called the crematorium instead of the blood lab for Zelda.

Or, the incident with all the blood. I can't even go there!

Your most unusual job.

Definitely, collecting radioactive horse piss. It wasn’t that we needed the urine- we just didn’t want to contaminate the environment of our scintigraphy unit. Somebody had to do it- and I was willing to work for minimum wage. (I was told I was a very good radiology technician’s assistant. My internal response- I should THINK so. I have a PhD.) The worst day of work was when I got covered in said urine and the scrub goddesses at the laundry at the vet school REFUSED to give me clean scrubs to change into. Well, initially. I wasn’t taking “no” for an answer. I was “hot”!

Though, I’ve also been a sexual surrogate for doves, detassled corn (but who hasn’t? At least if you grew up when I did in Versailles), and collected data on dragonfly behavior in the field.

See, I’m pretty good. I think I could have made it on paper. I just don’t have the effusive and excitable nature they’d want to see on TV.

Dixie does.

And, I’d never seen the show before. I’d heard a description of it- but I couldn’t believe that anyone would want to watch such a nothing concept.

Once again, I am so wrong.

We're baaaackkk

Just got up from a powerful nap. Our trip back to Australia was 27.5 hrs from door to door. While I was very sorry to have our whirlwind tour of friends and family end, I was also relieved to have my life sssllloooowwww down. Finally, I can limit my guilt to only being too far away from home instead of being in the US with only a few short hours to spend with any one person... and, really, no hours with other equally important people. And, I can get back to a regular schedule with 8 hours of sleep in my own bed and maybe even some exercise each morning.

Before I get any further, it is important that I announce publicly what a pleasure it was flying United out of JFK! I was totally shocked. We were met at the door by United's version of the Walmart greeter- who found an attendant to help us at the self check kiosk. (Not that we had lost so many brain cells we can't do self check-in anymore- it was just that we had bought our tickets separately and needed to work things out so we could sit together on the flight.) Attendant One took over and type, type, type we had 2 boarding passes and then Attendant Two checked out our passports and tagged our bags and suggested we cross the hall to the Qantas desk to get our seat assignment for the LA leg NOW! JFK was bright and clean. The security screening went quickly with hardly a line and no pat-downs or body cavity searches. Wow. Thumbs up to Wolfgang Puck's four cheese pizza.

Our flight was as easy as any with only one difficulty. Kevin's earphone jack didn't work on the NY to LA flight. Fortunately, I had decided to re-read "Slaughterhouse Five" so he just plugged into my arm. VwaaLaa. I didn't mind missing the movie. I had drama in real life happening in the seats in front of us. Three total strangers (Bono age 40, Our Lady age 39, and Mr Heartbreak age 24)animatedly exchanging life stories and sorting out opinions on love, sex, dating, marriage, eating meat, exercise and masturbation. They were so fascinating they pulled in the young man who was seated in the row ahead of them, too. Eventually I finished reading Vonnegut and the movie ended and Kevin let me have the head phones back. I watched an episode of House- which isn't something I've watched more than once or twice before. I had to laugh- the plane started it's descent and cut off the entertainment service JUST AS House was announcing the solution to his patient's condition. I might have figured it out from the conversation he was having with his boss (I assume) just before he ordered whatever that necessary test was if the pilot wasn't announcing our impending arrival and the necessity to turn off all electrical devices including the video - which was still playing soundlessly. Arghhh.

LAX is always dismal. But that was only a small dip in the pleasure meter. I did have an empty seat beside me to sprawl if not lie into. Kevin was able to watch four COMPLETE films (Help!, The Savages, Cassandra's Dream, and The Man from Snowy River.) The meals were fine and I slept for several hours- just not contiguously.

I only watched 2 complete films- The Savages and Cassandra's Dream- both were OK, but only just. I also caught up on my prior in flight early terminations and watched the ends of both Sleuth and 10 Things I Hate About You. Yay.

Then, happy ending- we landed safely, flew through customs where, despite listing food on both of our landing tickets and telling 3 custom officials we were carrying Reese Peanut Butter Cups, we were chastised to declare our food next time. WE DID this time!!!!!!!!, and picked up Ms. Z. She obviously had had a good time- looking now like a very fluffy tootsie roll. We brought home her kong, her bed, her bag of food- but not her waist. Still, I'm so proud every time I see her in a run with another dog who is not missing body parts. Good girl, Zelda. Good girl.

Groceries, unpacking, laundry, napping. Tomorrow we are both back to work. I hope in the next days to update the blog with a sketch of our travels in America. Now, I should start supper so we can get back to sleep.

Back in the USA

I made the return trip in 28 hours- door to door. I took the time while waiting through my delay in Chicago (just an hour- lucky me!) to jot down my next blog entry. Of course, I did not bring these insights with me to the library. Next time. And, they will be typed in here- most likely.

Meanwhile, I've been having a great time. Finishing up our taxes. Figuring out how to get an absentee ballot for Nov. Re-instating my disability insurance through AFLAC. Not auditioning for "Deal or No Deal". Losing Pit. Eating pumpkin pie.

Today, I hope to do what every good Versailles girl wants most- get out of town. We want to COME BACK- but once we're here a few days it is time to hit the road. I've got my new Discover card activated and shined up and I'm ready to pass some plastic.

So, right now I'm in a bit of a rush. Just poking my head in to say "Hi".

TV

Since Kevin has been gone, I've been watching TV. I kind of gave up on movies after my binge when I was sick. I was disheartened to find that I hadn't enjoyed any of those movies tremendously, and I attributed it in part to missing Kevin. (You know that, already.) So, TV.

Zelda insists on couch time. I only do it for the dog.

And, being the good partner that I am, I've tried to watch TV that Kevin wouldn't be too interested in. That's how I've watched all the new episodes of "Dirt". I can't believe I did that. It isn't any better this year. I'm also caught up with this season of "Scrubs". More forgettable TV. Then, silly me. I stumbled on "Oz".

I forgot that Kevin hadn't seen the first season (though he's watched some of the later seasons.) I think I should be forgiven. Plus, I was moved to watch it given my own experience behind bars. (I have the distinct pleasure of ALWAYS being able to say about any current job: "It beats prison".)

Not that I was a prisoner. Remember, I had to pull out moldy parking tickets to get enough deviant-cred to apply for permanent residency in Australia. I taught undergraduate psychology courses in both the Ohio Reformatory for Women and London (Ohio) Correctional Facility. Yes....including "Theories of Personal Development and Adult Growth". The men at London were particularly intrigued. That was back in my cow-t-shirt and black-mini-skirt-flat-top-hair day. They asked "Are all women like you now?".

Yes.

Anyway, watching "Oz" I've been considering what group I'd gravitate towards. Not the skinheads. Probably not the Italians. The Muslims? Don't think that would work. Being really crazy seems like an OK option- until - wait- I better not go on with that thought. I'd never feel good about a riot.

I'm thinking I'd better try to not become a resident.

Sunday blues

Just feeling a bit down today. And yesterday. I think it comes from being sick for a week- combined with hurting my back Wednesday and pretty much losing touch with my true love. I have plenty to do- but I can't get enthused about it. Sundays are always hard. For my first 18 years I spent nearly every Sunday with my grandparents and assorted aunts, uncles, and cousins having dinner on the farm. Being alone, let alone eating alone, feels particularly lonely on a Sunday.

I think this is compounded by what I must assume is the closing of "The Emperor's Court" aka "OUR" Chinese Restaurant. (They haven't been open at anytime during the last week! Tell me it is just a holiday!) Where am I going to find another place where the mongolian beef is different everytime? Let alone within walking distance. I haven't told Kevin. He's been having enough challening news.

Pumpkin Pie: the first attempt

I pulled out Dixie's recipe on Monday and made a recipe of two crusts.

Here it is:

1 cup Crisco
1/4 cup butter

3 cup flour

1 T vinegar
1 t salt
5 T water
1 egg

As far as I can tell, we don't have Crisco in Australia. I did find a vegetable shortening in the dairy department. It had some fluffy name- like "Crispo"- and a recipe for making the Down Under version of Rice Crispy Treats. I should have read the signs. They were ALL over.

1. The only recipe for this stuff involved melting it on the stove.
2. The alternative uses for the produce involved wall building.
3. I could barely break it up to work it into the flour after it had set out on the counter (bench) overnight.

This morning I pulled the dough out of the frig to roll it into a crust. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. There will be no rolling. This is a dangerous, very hard, throwing object...and not a Frisbee. Thunk.

I suppose I might have let it sit out overnight to warm back up and then MAYBE it would roll....but do I really want to be eating a fat that is THIS hard? I think it must be some sort of "supertrans fat".

So, I poured my pumpkin batter into the pie pan without a crust. We'll see. I told the clinic I'd bring pie in. I'm not sure that I'll take this, however.

Movies, movies, movies

Kevin left yesterday for the US. That makes me, I guess, bachelorette number 2. He slyly left me here with not only Zelda but this cold virus. We're too busy partying at home with the Kleenex to get into any real trouble...despite Zelda's persistent efforts.

So, Kevin, while on an international flight, and I, while not doing the major house scrub I had envisioned, are knocking back movies. He called upon arrival with his update: "As It Is In Heaven", "I'm Not There", and "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford"...the latter he hadn't finished. And, for me: "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly", "American Gangster", and "Into the Wild".

I think we each missed seeing the film with the other. All these movies we probably would have liked better if we'd seen them scrunched together on the love seat with Zelda in between us. It isn't just the love seat or just Zelda. I had both of those. I missed Kevin.

The films I saw were fine movies that I had been wanting to see. Interestingly, they were all based on true stories. Hmmmm. I felt disappointed that I did not make an emotional connection with "The Diving Bell...". He was certainly a remarkable man with much more internal strength than I think I would possess. I think I should have felt more. Kevin suggested that it might be hard to elicit much emotion when your acting is localized to eye blinks (and rolls and a few tears). I think it didn't help me that I didn't really like the man I met in the flashbacks. "American Gangster"- I told Kevin I really prefer a film where we are either focused on the story of the cop or the story of the gangster. Mixed loyalties. Though, Frank Lucas was a very, very bad character- he did possess some charm. And, Richie Roberts was a honest cop but a fatally flawed human being. It was Tony Soprano vs Vic Mackey. As Kevin and I discussed, Vic will always win. He's smart and focused like a bulldog. Tony - I say he survives because he is lucky. (Of course, Vic would NOT have turned in the $1,000,000 he found in the back of a car.) Finally, "Into the Wild"- I don't know. Too nice a kid? Or, just because it goes out with a whimper rather than a bang? Anyway, it paled in comparison with "Grizzly Man".

Lest you think I have nothing earth shattering to recommend- I'll step back and plug 2 movies. They're listed over there on the right. I just didn't actually tell you how cool they were.

"Eastern Promises". Now, HERE'S a gangster story. The Russian mob in London. Drugs, sex, violence and all churned around in about 90 min. That, for me, really lifts a movie. Make it fit into 90 min and keep me on the edge of my seat. Don't let me think, I'll pause this now so I can find some more tissues to blow my nose. Keep me transfixed and dripping.

And, vying for film of the year with "As it is in Heaven"- "Lars and the Real Girl". I think you need to be told the premise. Emotionally challenged young man orders life sized sex doll and introduces her as his girl friend. From there, you'll form all sorts of crazy, kinky ideas. They will almost all be wrong- but that will actually delight you. It isn't rolling-on-the-floor funny. It is sweet. The best of all possible worlds must be a real girl in heaven.

Our first Australian wedding

Kevin and I attended our first "real" Australian wedding last night. Yep. Terry and Sheree- of the new dress for Terry and Sheree's wedding fame. Like the best of weddings, theirs was unique and personal. It didn't really occur to us that a wedding at the Pine River Golf Course would be ON the golf course- just behind the tee for the 7th hole. The men waited by the red putting carpet (I think I'm making that up, by the way) while the bridal party arrived by golf cart. We were only disappointed by two things: the lack of any promised fist fights (though we did leave about 9:30 PM) and winding up the wedding ceremony with "The Wedding March" rather than "Gonna Fly Now: The Theme from Rocky".



And, we did our part to make the evening memorable. Dancing our hearts out to "Love Shack"...but not Kenny Rogers, Willie Nelson, Abba, The BeeGees.... Oh, and my shoes didn't fall off.

Ancient Chinese Secrets

When Pepsi started marketing its products in China,the English slogan "Pepsi brings you back to life" was translated quite literally, "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave."

I learned this first from Laurie Anderson. Kevin suggested it might not be true (!) so this evening I googled it. The following is from the "Snopes" Urban Legends website.

Status: Undetermined.

That was helpful.

Tonight, however, I'm more interested in the miraculous ability that the owner of our local Chinese restaurant proposes for Coke. She told Kevin that as soon as you feel any cold or flu symptom, you should heat up a can of Coke. Boil it with lemon and ginger.

I'm no Coke fan and it doesn't taste better hot with lemon and ginger. It is very sweet but, also, rather soothing on a sore throat. I've had it twice over 2 days. I'm not instantly well. Maybe tomorrow.

Maybe I need Pepsi.

The inevitable

Recently, Kevin and I had THE TALK- the one that accompanies any long, long, long term relationship. I initiated it.

No, not the Zombie apocalypse talk. We've got that sorted- though I'm still hesitant about letting Zelda fend for herself. She's doomed.

Rather, it was the "do you know any identifying features? that would ensure you could identify my body?" You know. In case the ultimate end ISN'T Zombie mediated.

He's got a birthmark and a scar on his big toe. He knows I've got an incision scar on my back.

Hope it isn't too badly burned.

They could always try to put an earring in both my ears and fail on the left. Or, look for the scratch scars from "Bob the cat" on the inside of my right forearm.

I'm leaving this record here for him. He may need it.

Oh, and the music has nothing to do with this post. Kevin thought I should tell you.

Lost Friends- also Sex and Violence

Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution. - Deepak Chopra

This morning I'm thinking of my friend Renee. (Not my sister Renee.) I haven't seen or heard from her for years - since she moved from Cleveland to retire in Florida. I've written a few times. She hasn't responded. On occasion I hear from her partner in a mass mailing saying they are doing "X".

This morning Renee is on my mind for two reasons. Last night I dreamed of her. I didn't actually get to talk with her. I spoke with Jeannie. She said that Renee hadn't been doing well. Today, I also received a silly photo of a Peep Peep-show. (Note, it would have been labeled "super cool" if I had been the one to make the photograph.) Renee is a big peep fan. She eats them. Weird.

Anyway, I'm hoping she is fine and happy and eating lots of peeps for Easter. I hope her black kitties and her dog Oreo are healthy and keeping well away from the gators. I know she has lots of new friends who will all love her. She won't be needing me- but I am and will be missing her.

PS. The best peep factoid I know (well have heard)- you can create peep sword fights (live action!) by sticking a toothpick (the epees!) into two peeps (I think stale ones work best) and then put them facing off together in the microwave. Add heat. We are a violent, weird people!

It will be one of those rambling catch-up posts. You are warned.

Sometimes it feels like not much is happening- but then time passes and I realize that bit by bit a mountain of small stuff has collected. Most of it is on my desk. What follows almost invariably is I look forward to putting my ideas to (sort-of) paper and then something crappy or stressful or just tiring comes up. So it is tonight. I have the time. Kevin is busy gaming. It is only 7:30. But, I've got to make my 4th trip this Sunday into the clinic to care for two cats who are going downhill. Ugh. My heart is heavy and I can't find those great thoughts I thought yesterday- well Thursday. I need to try to learn to dissociate my ego from the outcomes of my patients. Ugh.

Here goes.

First: what has happened to all the spiders? Somehow, within the last few weeks they (the really, really big ones who had our backyard "wrapped up") have disappeared. There are remnants of big-ass spider webs- but they are looking tattered. Ah, the season is changing.

Second: Got to wear my new, it-fits! dress on Thursday evening. Remembering with oh-so-much pleasure the phrase the clerk had used as she folded this dress into the Macy's shopping bag- "you can throw this in your suitcase and it will come out looking great"- I threw that dress in my big red bag and took it with me on my day of errands only to whip it out and on in the women's room of the Lyric Theatre! Yes, Thursday was the night for "Phantom of the Opera". I was to meet the rest of the clinic in the bar of the theatre at 6:45. So, I crawled across downtown at 5 PM, parked in the museum lot, and found a very tasty dinner of sauteed vegetables with chickpeas and feta cheese. Then, I rushed to the ladies.

Really, it was more like 6:50. Scooting along in my new, over sized-but aren't they always? shoes I scanned the bar. Back and forth. Back and forth. I stopped people and asked them if there might be a second bar somewhere. I looked there. I panicked and went to the ticket booth to see if my ticket had been left for me there. No. And, at least initially, no record of Rob buying tickets for that night...til they found they were purchased through another vendor. That guy also didn't know anything. I looked outside. It was after 7! I was going to miss the show!

Although they left the clinic at 5, they didn't get home and then to the theatre until about 7:15. And, the show didn't begin until 7:30.

Still, we missed the beginning. We were actually in the wrong bar and so we missed the "Audience Call" light flicker. We were too busy chatting and drinking champagne. Or tea- depends on who you're talking about. So, we stood watching the big screen until the point where they'd allow the tardy to enter the theater. My thoughts. "My feet! How long will I have to stand?" and "What are they SAYING?"

The Phantom- once seated and enough vocal volume provided- was great fun! The costumes- particularly during the masquerade- were fabulous! The music was great! I was so rooting for the phantom to get the girl- but, as you probably guessed, once again, he did not. Kevin points out that he was a psychopathic killer- but still...even though his mask made him look a little like Batman's "The Joker", he got my sympathy. What does this say about my taste in men...? Choose the guy with the best song.

Third- The process of application for permanent residency chugs ever onward. Last week I had my physical exam. I fretted in the waiting room about whether I had fully completed the paperwork and whether an error on my part would result in being banished at the most inopportune moment- like when I was on the table getting scrubbed for open-heart surgery. I took my seat in front of the doctor and blurted out "I have a heart murmur. I didn't know where to list that". He told me that was his job.

I know you want to know. I passed my x-ray. I guess that must have been an end-on vessel in the radiologists opinion.

I didn't, however, pass my physical. Yes, I could stand with my eyes closed. I had no problem touching my toes. No inappropriate abdominal masses. No hernia. Adequate reflexes.

But, I had a murmur.

All my life.

Now, they need an echocardiogram.

Kevin says not to worry. He has an alternate plan.

He'll "dump my sorry ass".

Something like that.

There's more- but I've got a cat to feed. And, so, I leave you with this video.



comment- not by me- but it is almost funnier than Will Ferrell.
I hate it! It completely mocks Michael Crawford and All others who could sing the song, Music of The Night. Also, the Phantom's real name is Erik.

Knowing you're in the right place

Sometimes things happen and you know you are in the place you are supposed to be. That's the way it was when Kevin and I got back together. We kept encountering messages from the universe affirming that we belonged together. Now. (Well, then.) The radio played songs of renewed love. The theater showed movies of time travel.

Today was similar...but a bit more subtle. Today as I drove from the city home I heard "Drop the Pilot". Never have I heard Joan Armatrading on the radio. Wow! And, then, while I was walking about Chermside shopping centre (and not doing half the things on my list because I had come only half prepared) I heard "Anchored Down in Anchorage". Ditto my previous comment for Michelle Shocked- but maybe times 10.

I can't figure out how anything I was doing was so special- but maybe it is like the Bradbury tale (Sound of Thunder) where the dinosaur hunting time traveler steps on a butterfly and changes "history"- (Hitler wins WWII.) Maybe I'll never know how what I was doing today was shaping my future...but it must surely have been monumental.

Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution. - Deepak Chopra

Filling in Forms

Kevin is in a major push to complete our applications for permanent residency. (We've got a deadline. Kevin's Australian "use by" date comes up on July 16 of this year. I'm WAYYYY past good. Those Aussies- they love young white immigrants.) So, we have fun evenings of form filling. The medical one is a challenge. You need to list every hospital stay, every surgery, every disease, sickness or condition requiring medication. With dates. The police form asks repeatedly if you've been, you know, bad. And, when. This also includes traffic offences. Great. Like I can recall the date when I fell into the speed trap in Laura. I know I was in grad school and home for the summer. That narrows it down to two years.... or six months. Kevin didn't feel like I needed to list my two parking tickets (Cleveland Heights and Chapel Hill)- but I figure Australia WANTS people with some criminal color about them. This WAS a penal colony. I'm just trying to help out.

We also had to be finger printed. That was fun. It is a bit of a mental twist to extend your finger while at the same time keeping it loose and controllable by the stamper. The best part was reading the instructions posted on the wall. #2 Inspect the hands for deformities including amputations.

Today, then, I was late to two immigration appointments. That would be 100%. Fortunately, this did not prevent me from either having my blood drawn or my chest x-rayed. I'm wondering if I should be concerned about the small radio-opaque spot in my caudal left lung field. (The radiographer showed it to me and asked it is was an end on vessel or a granuloma. Damn. I forgot what I put there.) I'm afraid I may never know what the radiologist thinks since we'll get the report sealed and we are instructed to not open it. Wonder if I could get a copy of the report for myself... I wonder what the ethics of the situation are.

We've still got God's ear and his crayons

This photo dispays this year's catechism class. The one that is praying for Kevin and I and Zelda. They are very careful to never forget Zelda.

I got to visit them when I was home. That's why they're all waving small koalas and looking buzzed on Australian chocolates. It was a riot. First came the questions. They virtually all began "Have you ever treated a _____" and ended with me saying "No". No- not a tiger, not an alligator, not a koala, and only a cow when I was a student. They were MOST impressed to learn that we have a gecko that lives in our bedroom. We reviewed who the Queen was (Elizabeth- who's the queen of Australia and of England) and what color Zelda is (she's black). I had brought home a half dozen Australian candy bars and we sliced each into 8 pieces and had a taste test. It was pretty much unanimous- Boost is the favorite.

Today we recieved a package of letters from the kids and photos they'd drawn. Lots of koalas. Lots of Queen Elizabeth. Lots of Australian flags. And, lots of pictures of their personal houses.

As it is in Heaven

As time passes by it becomes more and more difficult to sit myself down at my computer and take stock of the last 3 weeks and my trip to the US. On occasion I feel compelled. Those are the occasions when I'm not at home. On other occasions I feel overwhelmed. On this occasion, however, I feel lost. So, I'm thinking it is time to make a brief effort and then put it all behind me and be open to living now. Here.



My flight to the US was absolutely perfect. I had three seats to myself which had I been able to sleep would have been great for sort-of-stretching out. I find it near impossible to sleep when I board a flight at noon- even knowing that at my destination folks are settling into prime time and starting to doze off during commercials. Qantas was offering several great films to select between- but I kept remembering that "Kevin and I were going to watch that together one day"- and so I watched two low ranked films. Yes, two films I would never have jumped at the opportunity to see and one absolutely fabulous- best ever- weeping tears of joy and beauty film. That would be, "As It Is In Heaven". I got home and sent my sister right out to Blockbuster to find it so I could share it during our "Christmas" weekend with my family- but it was/is not available. It hasn't been released on DVD in the US yet. "As It Is In Heaven". Keep repeating that. You don't want to forget.



"Christmas" was fun- December isn't required for that. Roast beef. Family. Music. Presents. My mother had purchased a new Christmas tree from the dollar store. $1.00 tree at 90% off. We put it over our presents.



I made an afternoon trek down to Fairfield Commons Mall and, get this, bought a dress that fits. I'm now officially ready for both "Phantom of the Opera" (March 13) and "The Wedding of Terry and Sheree" (March 22). It is very cool...and completely thanks to my dear mother who not only chauffeured me around but helped me to pick out these togs.

She also drove me to Columbus for the Midwest Veterinary Convention, to Piqua to H&R Block, to the airport...

The convention: it was absolutely wonderful to see my old boss. Otherwise, I felt vaguely unsatisfied. Maybe it was the jet lag. Maybe I was expecting too much. Maybe I should have known that "Extractions made Simple" would be predicated on having fancy dental equipment that we lack. I did buy the clinic some new adjustable muzzles and Zelda a couple of new toys. (Zelda is having fun- but I'm still waiting for my first, uhm, irritable dog...or cat.)



Somehow, I feel like I managed to cram a real winter into my dozen days in Ohio. Warm days. Frigid days. Snow days. Ice days. Even a warm and snowy day- where I could and did take a long walk through Versailles. But the best was always having clear roads when I absolutely needed to be somewhere. Thank you. It was just what I wanted. (And, here I must stop to thank Ella for the warm, warm, warm coat that I'm still wearing. I must admit that I'm not made for a white or even an off white coat- but it isn't too disreputable and it is very, very warm. I think I said that.)

The flight back to Australia was as negative as the flight home had been positive. Instead of 3 seats to myself, I had one seat crammed in with two young Australian men. Instead of a magical, transformative movie experience, I watched three films that I seemed physically incapable of remembering the titles to. Instead of a great dinner and breakfast, I had the worst fish I've ever encountered followed by brick of eggs for "breakie". And, then they lost my luggage.

It never left LA.

I've never officially recorded my poor track record with "wheeled suitcases". I've had three. On my first one a wheel went flat. Yes. I had solid plastic wheels on this suitcase- just like you do. An edge of one wheel sheered off. Flat. Flat wheels don't roll. On my second suitcase one of the prop-up legs was knocked sideways. So, instead of pointing down to the ground where it might help the damn thing stand up, it points west. This means, if you stop wheeling the case, and walk away from it- it falls over. So, when I went home this trip my mom gave me her "wheeled suitcase"- the one she bought for last year's trip to Australia. I can forgive it getting lost. But, I'm having trouble accepting the fact that it "came home" minus one wheel and the corresponding leg. Ughhhh. If I thought that spending more for a suitcase would REALLY make it last more than 3 or 4 or 6 intercontinental flights, I'd make the investment. I'm just not convinced. But wheels. They are SUCH a great invention.

Fall

March 1st. The first day of autumn in the Southern Hemisphere. The days feel decidedly cooler. And, especially at night, there is a seriously cool breeze. The spiders in the back yard have fattened up to the point of bursting.

And, yet, it will never feel like autumn should. There's no World Series. There's no Halloween. There's no first day of school. And, a bright blue sky is nothing extraordinary. But, mostly, there's no riot of color.

And, so I'm borrowing a leaf. From Cleveland.

Happy Birthday Renee!

Happy, Happy Day! To my favorite sister! To my favorite model! I'm very pleased to be able to celebrate with you this year. Let us have a marvelous day!

What a great week!

And, it is only Wednesday and sure to get better!

Monday, you won't believe it, but I got to go home an hour early! Upon my arrival, as if anything could get better, I found that the Australian government has finally sent our medicare exemption forms AND there was a package from Christine! Oh wow! Christine sent lots of new spiders (seriously), a real letter, and a CD of photos. I had so much fun! Then, we watched the last episodes of season three (the final season) of "Arrested Development" and were once again impressed with what has to be the smartest comedy ever appearing on TV.

Tuesday we had an early celebration of Valentine's Day. (Tomorrow evening Kevin has an appointment at the dentist. And, I'll be in the throws of last minute packing.) We went to a Turkish restaurant that we've noticed on Sandgate Road. I had the prawn bowl? pot-o-prawn? something like that and Kevin had the mixed grill. We took our meal "to go"- not that anyone takes a meal "to go" in Australia. Here, we do "take away". The food was good and plentiful. And, we splurged on rice pudding. It was an assignment from Heather, really. She thinks I should eat rice pudding. Who am I to argue? It was very yummy- and too much.

Wednesday- my last day of work for two weeks! How sweet! And, my boss informed me of the bonus I earned for this quarter. I love the way this man does math. We earned 25% more in the last quarter than we did this time last year. He calculated my bonus on the basis of this...and then pretty much doubled it. Crazy. I said, "Thank you".

Tomorrow- finally going to get our taxes done, I hope. I have an appointment. I just hope I have all the information I need to complete the job. Afterward, lunch with Kevin and some last minute gift shopping in the city. Oh, and repacking. At least twice. Then, try to sleep. I expect to be very excited. It is better than Christmas. I'm going home!

Friday- my flight departs about noon. I'm lucky enough to get a direct flight to LA from Brissie. A not too excessive layover in LA is followed by a flight to Cincinnati. After an hour there, I'm headed for Dayton. Total travel time, discounting the drive to the airport and the wait in Brisbane AND the drive home to Chicken City...23 and 1/2 hours.

I know that I'm going home to winter. I know that but I just don't really understand it. Arctic fronts are hard to imagine when you are in lush, hot Brisbane. Snow? I've seen the photos. I know it is white. I'm anticipating culture shock.

Gung hay fat choy!

Yes! It is the year of the RAT!! (That's rat, Zelda. Not dog.) Kevin and I started our celebration last night by ordering Chinese from our local, just-over-the-tracks restaurant. Today, I ditched him and went on my own to Chinatown to check out the festivities.

I didn't arrive until almost 3. I toured the shopping stalls in the Brunswick Street Mall and then thought I'd see what was happening on the next mall (the one with the pagodas that I don't know the name of). More shops- though these were decidedly Chinese and festive in nature. Down at the end was a Chinese band playing, I kid you not, "Play that Funky Music". Of course, I had to stop. Everyone was lining up around the perimeter of a rope that cordoned off the area in front of the band stand. I didn't know what was going to happen, but I had a second row position and I figured (reckoned) I should hold onto that.

Not long after that I spied the video screen positioned near the pagoda on which the band was playing. The upcoming action included the dragon and lion dances and firecrackers! So, I waited there for the next 30 minutes- somehow retaining my good position.

This was the official beginning of the New Year festival and so we had to welcome everyone and introduce umpteen dozen officials and dignitaries- who each made a speech- usually in English and then in Chinese. I did appreciate that occasionally they would throw a dance in in-between speeches.




Things to know:

It is necessary to repaint the eyes on the dragon and lion(s) before their performance in order to ensure prosperity/good luck for the year to come. I'm not sure why every person on the stage had to paint the eyes of each lion. Maybe the luck goes only to the paintee. In this case, I'm out of luck.

It looks like fun to be part of the dragon but less so to be part of a lion- especially the back part. And, it looks downright dangerous to be any part of a lion that is dancing above ground. These lions, however, get pretty awesome looking massages prior to their performance.

If you are ever being hunted by a dragon, throw a ball. They seem to follow "the bouncing ball"- especially a ball with streamers, if you've got one.

Being in the front row is very cool and probably important for appreciating the dragon dance, less necessary for the post hopping or pole climbing lion dances, and actually unpleasant for the firecrackers- that is unless getting hit in the face with shrapnel brings good luck in the year to come.

It is good to be small. You will receive a bag of rats.

Unsettled mind

Yesterday as I was lying on Heather's massage table feeling like a birthday cake I thought, "I should be relaxed. This treatment would be so much more successful, undoubtedly, if I would just relax. I've got to stop this obsessing." It went on like this.

And what, pray tell, was on my mind?

Two things. It is always two things. Just ask Kevin.

First, I lost a patient. I saw this dog yesterday and I knew enough to tell the owner I thought she might not make it through the night- but I didn't know enough to save her. Arghhhh. It is one of those things- afterwards you have some great ideas- but at the time you are just plain stupid. I am so sorry. My bad. I've learned by now that the only way to get through these things is to figure out what might keep this very specific problem from happening in the future. I've figured out what that would be with this problem- but I just haven't let it go. Yet.

Then, there was my embarrassment about "May". May cuts my hair. I like him. He's very cute and very sweet and it only takes about 24 hours before I have the courage to look at my hair after he cuts it. (I've always thought May was a funny name for a man- but he's Japanese and, so, who knows.) Anyway, I called to make an appointment for a hair cut in anticipation for GOING HOME. May didn't have anything available early. "I can get you in with her at 4:30." That won't work. I have to be at Heather's at 5:30. The woman suggested I come in later- Thursday is late shopping day here. (Yes. One day each week- every week- the stores are open until 9 PM. Gasp.) I guess I could come in after seeing Heather. But, first I had to clarify that I wanted to see May the man. Oh. She's a woman.

So, I lay on the table truly, truly, truly embarrassed about calling her a man. I don't care if May is a man or a woman. I just didn't want to offend her. She holds sharp instruments next to my face. But, mostly, I like her. She is (still) cute and sweet.

Later, of course, I confessed all to Kevin. He laughed at me thinking that a man would be named "May". But, I had just restudied the situation and I must report that 9 out of 10 veterinarians would believe that May was a man.

And, I'll have you know I scored a perfect 10 out of 10 on the male/female quiz on Facebook.

I'm good.

I'm just not perfect.

Missing US Holidays

Can't quite figure out why there is no "Ground Hog's Day" here. Could it be because we are in the middle of summer? Could it be because there is no Bill Murray? Could it be because there are NO GROUNDHOGS? In a pinch I'd say a wombat would work. It is worth having someone to blame for the length of winter/summer.

And, today, is Mardi Gras.
Mar·di Gras (märd grä)
n. Shrove Tuesday, celebrated as a holiday in many places with carnivals, masquerade balls, and parades of costumed merrymakers.
from the french: mardi, Tuesday + gras, fat (from the feasting on Mardi Gras before Lenten fasting).]

Brisbane doesn't do any Mardi Gras. That isn't too big of a suprise or disappointment- Versailles doesn't either. Sydney, on the other hand has a big Mardi Gras party- and even a web page. It just isn't linked to Fat Tuesday. This year's dates: Feb 9 to Mar 2. I'm happy enough to have Mardi Gras being a big gay pride festival/parade- but why would you want to pick a random date?

I can be so rigid.

Congratulations Steve and Tanya!

Somehow I thought that a four day weekend would either result in me having lots of great stories or feeling very rested. Neither is the case. Alas.

Thursday morning I caught the 8 AM train from Carseldine, connected at Eagle Junction, and "landed" at the domestic airport. I flew Virgin (no breakfast) to Sydney where Kevin picked me up on the curb (kerb) and hastened me away to Kurrajong Hills in the Blue Mountains. We arrived with an hour to spare. Just enough time to change, enjoy our afternoon tea, and hustle over to the wedding venue, Loxley on Bellbird Hill. Oh, and conveniently, that hour was just enough time for the rain to come and go. So, the beautiful outdoor wedding went on as planned- with a few puddles but plenty of late afternoon light.




Everybody looked great. I even managed to keep my dress on (the straps, I mean) thanks to the ribbon tied bow that was attached to my place card. Good food. Good music. Good time.

Kevin was tired and made the mistake of brushing his teeth before remembering that our fancy-schmancy bed and breakfast included port and chocolate in the evening. I, therefore, was the only one to sample said port. Half a taste- that was all I could handle. Not my cup of tea.

Breakfast was elaborate - four courses. Then, load up the car and head back home. It was overcast with an occasional shower. Trip highlights: The WORLD'S largest sundial (Singleton, NSW).




Check out the time (below).



In addition, I did get to see "The Big Golden Guitar" in Tamworth, the country music capital of Australia.



And, we succeeded in not hitting either of two kangaroos that were lounging in the center of the road just after dusk.

Since our arrival back home (about 11:30 PM), I've been trying to recover. I just couldn't sleep once I finally got home- maybe it was the green tea I had with supper. Maybe it was the 12 hours of high quality music I had brought along for the ride. Anyway, I ended up getting about 4 hours of sleep...and have been dragging around and catching the odd nap since.

Sigh.

Happy Birthday Zelda!

I can't believe you're 11 years old. I remember bringing you home from Charlotte. You entirely consumed the new chew bone I had bought for you. Immediately. That night I had to sleep with you on a leash because you were used to living with a shift worker and being up all night. Fortunately, you soon learned how to sleep during the night - and day. It has taken years for you to train me and I still mess up on occasion. Thanks to you, I keep a much neater house.

I love you, Zelda. You are my best girl. You are my cheeky girl.