Friday, March 04, 2011

Day 4-Your parents

From Singles 2011


That's my mom and dad. It isn't much of a photograph. They didn't have any photos taken during their wedding. (I guess they were waiting for me and I was 8 years late. Sorry folks.) Instead, my Uncle Carroll took 8mm home movies of the wedding reception. This still, then, I took from the projection of the movie. I used it for the invitation to their 50th wedding anniversary a few years ago.

I've often thought that my parents were much cooler people than I was/am. (Note - I'm struggling with verb tense here - and hoping that any and all English teachers are too busy protesting the potential loss of their pensions to make note of all my mistakes.) They are much more social than I am - able to talk with people they meet and make new friends. I attribute this quality to their both being "middle children". They're adaptable - forgetting to take the suitcase they packed for vacation didn't create any distress - just lots of laughter. They were playful and amusing and happy to help. They were affectionate with each other and with their daughters - though not "touchy feely" with other people.

From Singles 2011

The quality that I most envy, however, is they were both able to tell a joke. At least once a week while I was growing up one of them would come home from work with a joke to tell at dinner. The jokes were meant for each other. I just got lucky to be there, too. (Me, I can't tell a joke. I can't remember the punch line even a couple hours after hearing it. And, if I remember the punch line, I couldn't begin to set the the story.) The photo above is a joke being passed between them while walking down the aisle at my sister's wedding. I'd tell you more about it, but I can't remember.

Thursday, March 03, 2011

Day 3-Your first love

From Singles 2011

First loves are special. They become the yardstick by which we measure next loves. And, the loves after that. I am constructed so that first loves linger. I still wear a shirt I bought for a trip to NYC in 1979. I still revisit my childhood security blanket. I'm ready to name our son after my first dog love. First loves change me forever. Maybe that is true for everyone. I have only been me.

My childhood crushes were atypical: No boy bands. No pop stars. (Those are really the same, aren't they?) Yogi Bear. Captain Kirk. (I offer no explanations. You'll remember, I'm not that kind of psychologist.)

I loved my parents. I told them I didn't want to grow up. I wanted to stay with them. (I'm sure that frightened them. See above.)

My first almost grown-up love was Fritz the Wondercar. Fritz was a Ford Fiesta. Four speed. Lightweight and zippy. I borrowed it from my parents in High School. I taught countless friends to drive a stick.
From Singles 2011
In college a couple friends and I drove it to Florida for spring break.

When I graduated from college my parents gave me the car.
From Singles 2011
I took it with me to Durham. White car. Black plastic interior. No air conditioning. Lots of brake problems. Still, we traveled back and forth between Ohio and North Carolina many times. Springs and Falls the back would be filled with my fold up furniture and clothes and books and art for my walls. (Back then I could hang things on the walls of my rented homes.)

I started to write a fable about Fritz the Wondercar. I never got further than the opening line... "Once upon a time, where east met west and north met south there lived a car."

Eventually, Fritz died of old age. He rusted through the floor, so like the Flintstones you could see my feet on the road. I carried him around as long as I could until my landlord told me I had to dispose of him. Scrap metal.

While I've had several very useful, utilitarian, reliable, even attractive cars since, I've never named another. I've never given one my heart.

This essay could have featured several other "first loves". What's the most important thing about any discussion of my loves is this: I'm very, very, very lucky to have had a first love come back to my life.

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Day 2- Meaning behind your blog name

Lets start with the easy bit. This is a blog. I am writing from "Down Under". As a phrase it is reminiscent of the classic Men at Work song- "Land Down Under".

Now, with that success under your belt: go ahead and write the capital letters NNV on a sheet of paper. Now, imagine that you are looking at it from the opposite side of the world. (Turn it over.) It should look like ANN (but without the little cross piece on the A.) Was that so hard?

This is about as clever as I've ever been.

Day 1-Introduce, recent picture, 15 interesting facts

From Singles 2011

My god. This starts out to be very demanding. Wouldn't 15 facts serve as introduction enough? And, the photo. Seems that interests a lot of people these days. I've asked Kevin to take one, but that is still in the planning stage - So, here's one from Boxing Day when we went to the GOMA.

1. In the second grade, maybe third, I wrote an "essay" about what I wanted to be when I grew up. For some reason I included what I'd do and what my best friend, Barb, would do. I can't remember who would do what, but one of us was a scientist and the other a veterinarian. Now, several years later, I can report to you I've been both. ("Yes, I was that kind of psychologist." I never get to say that - only the inverse.) I have not succeeded in matching my first "when I grow up" ambition - I have never been a Flying Red Horse.

2. My first job was detasseling corn for DeKalb. That means I walked through rows of corn plants removing the "feathery bit" (the male part) on the top of each stalk. I'm not sure whether I was good or bad - I really only know that I was slow. I'd come out of my row to be greeted by the rest of the crew sitting and resting and the "chief" saying "OK, everybody back in the field."

3. My favorite food as a kid was dried beef. Haven't eaten it in decades. Though I still regularly eat grapefruit and olives. (I was not a candy kid.)

4. Every long term relationship I've been involved with has endured periods of being a "long distance" relationship - even my marriage. Hence, I am a pretty good stamp licker.

5. For my last year of vet school, I refused to look at my quarterly grade cards. I was a bit confused when classmates were congratulating me at graduation. "Hey, we're ALL graduating." If I'd gone to our "End of School" party, I would have known I was the valedictorian.

6. My sister thought it was fun to hide my bra in the freezer and put plastic spiders in my bed.

7. I have very prominent veins. They seem to impress people.

8. I cannot castrate a dove. Probably that is true for most of humanity - but how many of you have tried? Repeatedly? (I can't ovariectomize a dove, either. But, I can surgically sex doves.)

9. I can draw blood from the wing vein of a dove ALL BY MYSELF.

10. I was an extra zombie in "Day of the Dead". So was Kevin. Only Kevin actually appears in the film, however. That's OK. I got a hat.

11. When people ask me how I like my job, I can honestly say, "It is better than prison." I wasn't a convict - I just worked in both men's and women's correctional facilities in Ohio.

12. When asked by an equine resident in vet school what I would be thinking if I looked into a horses mouth, preparing to "float" its teeth, and saw whatever it was she was showing our group, I responded with "Something has gone very, very very wrong with my life." I still feel that way. I try to say "no" to anything that can easily maim or kill me.

13. I spent a summer collecting radioactive horse pee. Enough said.

14. And, two years working with radioactive dove testicles; well, actually, just radioactive dove testosterone.

15. I learned today that my belly button is gone. I can lose anything!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

I'm setting myself up here....

A friend of mine just completed this exercise. It seemed rather interesting and since I'm off from work for a bit, I thought there was some infantestimally small chance I might complete it. Daily. Then, again. I do reserve the right to make some changes - at this moment I'm thinking the Day 15 Bible verse will become favorite poem, for example. As this is March first - if I start tomorrow, 30 days will complete the month.... there is no way I think I'll make it through. Lets see how far we get.

Day 1-Introduce, recent picture, 15 interesting facts
Day 2-Meaning behind your blog name
Day 3-Your first love
Day 4-Your parents
Day 5-Your favorite recipes
Day 6-A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7-Favorite movies
Day 8-A place you've traveled to
Day 9-A picture of your friends
Day 10-Something you're afraid of
Day 11-Favorite TV shows
Day 12-What you believe
Day 13-Goals
Day 14-A picture you love
Day 15-Bible verse
Day 16-Dream house
Day 17-Something you're looking forward to
Day 18-Something you regret
Day 19-Something you miss
Day 20-Nicknames
Day 21-Picture of yourself
Day 22-What's in your makeup bag
Day 23-Favorite vacation
Day 24-Something you've learned
Day 25-Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
Day 26-Picture of your family
Day 27-Pets
Day 28-Something that stresses you out
Day 29-3 Wishes
Day 30-a picture

A is for Apple

I am embarking on a major Zelda project. Usually at this time of year I am making a new Zelda calendar... and maybe I'll do that next. (I have my theme determined - a set of "Most Wanted" posters featuring the Z-girl.) This year, in honor of Zuperfliegen we're doing an alphabet book and maybe a counting book... though Zelda and I have only figured out how to count to 5.

A must be for Apple. Right?

However, Zelda finds this assignment to be very, very difficult because I do not want her to EAT the apple. As far as I know she's never eaten an apple before, but it took very little time to work out that apples are tasty and the mechanics of apple eating. (It is easiest if Ann will hold the apple for you.) So, I've taken 2 or 3 dozen apple photos and haven't got quite the one I like. Our problem is primarily with camera focus. There's just too much movement in an apple camera shoot.

Here are my top choices. (I feel like I have to move on or we won't finish in time.)


Please feel free to weigh in with your opinion.

B is for Bear, up next. I anticipate we'll have many of the same problems.

Seeking understanding - knowledge of Italian may be helpful

Zelda- \"gulag girl\"

This morning needing to find a photo online of my father to post with my most recent "Lost and Found" post, I went to my little visited photobucket account. Because I'm intrigued by such things, I looked at the stats for that account. As I often find, my photo of Zelda in quarantine was one of my most viewed photos. (In today's case, it was THE most viewed photo - with 156 views in the last week. The next most viewed - 6 views.) But, what's odd is that all these views were not generated by people trolling on photobucket or being referred by blogger, but they came from an Italian blog. This blog is covered with the "hammer and sickle", often bloody, symbol of communism as well as skulls, and Holocaust victims and the like. (Kevin helped me with Google Translate so I'm relieved to know this political page is at least anti-totalitarian rather than pro.)

But, why Zelda? I flipped through every page of the blog without seeing her sweet little face. At this time my only reasonable guess - because while she might learn Italian and how to type, she could never reach the keyboard- we're careful about keeping chairs pushed in around here - so the guess - it must have something to do with the title I'd given that photo: "Gulag Girl". (I've changed that now.)

Let it be known I meant no disrespect for any person who has been incarcerated, tortured, or killed. The photo was taken while she was "jailed" in quarantine in Sydney. She had shelter and food and was well cared for there. But, a concrete run is pretty bleak and does not match what I want for her, for dogs, for people - warmth and love and freedom with their family and friends. I hope the many people looking at her photo - however that is happening - recognize that she's a much loved pet and her sad face stirs something warm and loving deep within them.

Lost, Found, Lost...

Photobucket

This was actually the event that inspired my first Lost and Found post. Like so much else recently, that thought got lost - then found. I considered just amending the first post...but ultimately I've elected not to. (I know this comes as no surprise to you.)

Two weeks ago at our biweekly doctor's visit I was speaking with the receptionist and confirming that we would be attending class on Friday/Saturday and trying to tease out whether and what they'd be feeding me at 5 PM. (Nothing til after 6 - and then just nibblies. Huh? Who do they think they're working with?? Not impressed with the gap between theory and practice in Australian medical dietetics.) Anyway, the conversation went something like this....

"Oh, yes, Ann. I was trying to reach you yesterday. I called several times. I spoke with your father."

"What? Wait. I don't think so."

"Maybe there's another Ann," as she shuffled through her notes.

"My father's been dead for several years. I'd be really interested if you've been speaking with him."

Well, damn. There WAS another Ann and once again, I'd lost my father.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Lost, Found...

From Singles 2011
Recently, I've been finding lost things. Not everything I've lost, mind you. My waist is still missing and my feet - though I can tip over to see them and I can attest to their continued support - they're still mostly gone. But, I've found both my sunglasses - missing for a month or more in my desk drawer and, last night, Kevin found my reading glasses - missing for 2 or 3 novels - in HIS office. What sort of kinky things do you think he's getting up to at 1 AM??? Something that goes with purple-y frames, OBVIOUSLY.

Some things, I've learned you don't know are lost until they are found. That would be Monday's "finding" of my #2 algae eater - perfectly formed and perfectly dried and perfectly stuck to the kitchen floor. It is easy to miss these guys - but I never considered them lost - just lip sucking something deep and dark in the aquarium. But this... was it suicide? How, exactly, does a fish that seems to have minimal propulsive abilities but strong adhesive ones fling himself from an aquarium? That leaves the more probable explanation to be....murder. Have my sweet molly babies somehow found a way to fling a fish who was as big as their combined weights through the air, over the inward facing lip of the tank, and onto the floor? And, if not them, then the guilty party must be ME. I cleaned the tank thoroughly the day before pulling out a few plants and the filters. Perhaps, dear sucker was attached to something and plunged without my awareness to the ground? But, if this happened, why did it take me almost 24 hours to see him? And, why didn't Zelda, ahem, eat him before this??

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Rare Exports



I'm finally updating my movies, TV, books for 2011. Finally. And, this triggers me to share the above short film. While we enjoyed "Rare Exports", both Kevin and I preferred the short films that were made preceding it. Here's one. The second one... if you need help finding it let me know. I'm guessing it is on YouTube, also. So, while it is a little late for Christmas - after all even I have sent out my cards! - it is never too late or too early to have a really, really, really good time. Keeping in mind, of course, that Santa is watching and you really don't want to be naughty.

Comfort to the Enemy

From Singles 2011


"No, tell them I've been thinking about a mass escape," Jurgen said, "on the Fuhrer's birthday next April. Three-hundred and sixty thousand German prisoners of war, in all the camps in America, all walk out at the same time."

Otto waited, looking at Jurgen. "And do what?"

"Nothing," Jurgen said and moved his shoulders, rubbing his back against the wall. "Or they steal cars and drive around wherever they are, honking the horns."

"To what purpose?"

"You need a purpose? All right, first to show that we can do it," Jurgen said. "And second, to let them know we have a sense of humor. Americans don't think we do."

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Pegasus Descending

From Singles 2011



...If age brings either wisdom or answers to ancient questions, it has made an exception for me.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Rain, Water, Flooding...

From Singles 2011
Seems like any blog from Queensland Australia needs to make mention of rain.

We've had a lot.

Really. A lot.

Kevin and I have been very fortunate. Our home has stayed dry as did both of our work places. Our hearts go out to those who were less lucky.

The rain, rain, rain did result in some interesting new behavior in our backyard. In order to avoid the marsh that the ground has become, one of our local butcher birds has found a new perch from which to survey his world.
From Singles 2011

Year in Review....

From Christmas 2010


Happy New Year (‘s eve, eve, eve)!

Hope this holiday/post holiday season finds you warm and safe and dry. Here, we’re warm and safe and anything but dry. It rains. And then, it rains some more. Then, again. From a quick look at the Qld weather map it looks like we’ve received somewhere between 16 and 24 inches of rain this month. More to come.

But, prior to December, we could almost be said to be adventurous folk!

First – A life-lesson: Eyelash glue will NOT hold bread on one’s face.

We have new passports. (Let me pause while that sinks in. It’s OK to be envious. Who could resist?) This is just the icing on the cake from our attaining Australian citizenship in July. (The cake would be the collectable plastic flags and the shrublings they gave us…which we haven’t killed yet.)

We made our first trip to New Zealand – flying into Wellington to visit friends and then borrowing their car for a counterclockwise expedition around the South Island. We had a great time. Our highlights: “climbing” Franz Josef Glacier and swimming with the seals in Kaikoura. We can teach you your first word in Kiwi…. “beer” - go ahead, say it. That’s an animal that lives in the woods and eats honey (though, not in NZ which is very deficient in mammals.)

We got our Chipotle fix by visiting the US – twice! Kevin scored an extra Chipotle run because this was the 20th Anniversary of his film “Night of the Living Bread” and, as such, the film and the man were featured guests at the Halloween Horror Movie Marathon in Columbus.

AND…. We have a “flash new car”… that is, if flash means 20 years old. It wasn’t exactly a planned purchase but something about totaling one’s current car makes buying a new car look like a good idea. It is a Toyota Corolla. Michael Jackson has been established in its trunk – though I’m thinking his value as a Good Luck Protective Demigod is over-rated. Still, he makes us smile.

Zelda worked hard to secure her title of Bad Ass Dog of the Year. In August she engaged in a bout of uncontrollable vomiting which eventually I determined was the result of a foreign body being lodged in her intestine. I just cannot believe it took her 13 years to accomplish this feat – she’s tried so hard. We removed a bluish green rubbery object which neither Kevin nor I had ever seen before. We don’t know where she found it, but she didn’t show it to us. (This is what can happen when you leave the internet on while you are at work!) Anyway, while she was sick she was an ideal patient – quiet and cooperative. No one could imagine why I kept insisting that Zelda is a very, very, very bad girl. Then, post surgery she felt better. The howling and screaming began. “I’m alone! Help!! Help!! I need a couch! I’m ALOOOONE!”. She chewed her IV line into THREE pieces and peed over everything. Then, BOOM! The clinic lights went out. I joked that even Zelda couldn’t do this – but she had. She chewed through the electrical cord on her heating pad and shorted out the clinic and wrecked both computers in the reception area. Now, our mail box is filled with come-ons addressed to Zelda from various terrorist organizations.

Our biggest news: Kevin and I are very pleased to inform you that we have decided to and have all but succeeded in adding a real human being to our family. If everything continues to go well – as well as it has gone up to this point – we’ll welcome a little boy to our – and your family in March/April. We appreciate the idea of the estimated arrival date of April 1, April Fool’s Day. We’ve been calling him Zuperfliegen Baadasssss – a Faux-German translation of “Super Fly” and Baadasssss from the 1971 movie “Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song”– all in salute to 1970’s Blaxploitation films. (Can you guess whose idea this was??) Zupe for short….And, now for what you expect.

Movies: We did better seeing films this year thanks to several “series” playing in the city: The closing of The Regent Cinema in downtown Brisbane. They featured one classic movie from each decade they operated (from the 20s to the present). And, the Gallery of Modern Art featured a series of New Zealand films during their New Zealand Unnerved exhibition. Flying internationally added to our consumption – though not necessarily of anything we’d recommend to others. Anyway, hands down “Toy Story 3” gets our nod for best film. We laughed. We cried. Second place probably belongs to “The Social Network”. Our favorite from NZ: “Once Were Warriors” – though lets say it isn’t “upbeat”. The sequel, “What Becomes of the Broken Hearted”, was also worth seeing. But, you really should do them in sequence. Lighter fare: “Scott Pilgrim Versus the World”, “Black Sheep” (NZ film with man-eating sheep!), “RED” (which I liked more than Kevin.)

Books: This year I read a lot of Zombie books. Really. They were a fun lot – though none as supremely pleasing as Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Zombies really spice up Jane Austen. If you can’t bring yourself to have that much fun, then I’ll recommend Let Me Sing You Gentle Songs by Linda Olsson. It was a beautiful novel of friendship between two lonely women – and nothing undead anywhere. (The US title is not as lovely: Astrid and Veronica.) One book I feel I need to caution you about: Ah-choo! by Jennifer Ackerman. My mother sent me this nonfiction account of research surrounding the common cold. It was interesting – but I was then sick with two consecutive colds for the next six weeks. I blame the book. I’m sure it is laced with various viruses. Now, I want to get it off my shelf – and, if truth be told, I want to give it to someone else to see if they get sick, too. Would that make me, how do you say it, evil?????

Music: We really outdid ourselves this year with missing good music. First, we missed Laurie Anderson’s “Music for Dogs” concert at the Sydney Opera House. Maybe if I’d learned about it further in advance it would have worked out for us – though I suspect even then we’d have left Zelda at home. Then, only recently, we missed the Double Feature of Blondie and The Pretenders. This time we had tickets! Front row tickets purchased 7 months in advance!! But, it was an outdoor concert scheduled for early December and … it was rained out. Instead, we’ve been basking in another NZ discovery: Kasey Kasem’s American Top 40 from the 70s and 80s is still being broadcast. We’ve been enjoying this – so much I get up at 6 AM on Sundays.

Last but most, Television: Since we now only watch pre-recorded television we have the pleasure of watching only what we want to see (no channel surfing – which means we’ll never stumble upon “Dude, Where’s My Car?” – a loss we’ll never have the opportunity to recognize) and we avoid all the commercial breaks. So, we’ve seen some things that pleased us immensely. Comedy: “The Big Bang Theory”, “Modern Family”, and the show we’re most consistently impressed with: “Community”. Drama: Wow! Wow! Wow! We watched all three seasons of “Breaking Bad”. I don’t know how we’ve managed to sleep since waiting to resolve the cliffhanger which won’t be aired until JULY!!! We slogged through the first 2 seasons of “Mad Men” wondering how it was that it would beat “Breaking Bad” for Emmy Awards: Glacially paced with enigmatic dialog, all style and no substance. Then, we watched season 3 and, then, season 4 and we’re converts (though we still prefer cooking methamphetamine to writing advertising.) Also rans: “Men of a Certain Age”, “Fringe”, and “Big Love” – though the latter did some serious shark jumping.

Just can’t get over that baby thing? You’re right. We’re likely over our heads. We’ve got NO IDEA how to avoid the dingo threat. I’m just hoping it’s kind of like a Land Shark attack.

Excuse me. Someone is at the door.

“Candygram.”

Roma Street - January 2011

Boxing Day Tradition Continues

Last year we announced our first annual "Boxing Day Rebellion" which consisted of spending the day at the Gallery of Modern Art. (The title made more sense last year as the show was composed of Asian artists. The tradition actually is older than that - we spent Boxing Day seeing the Andy Warhol exhibit 3 years ago - but we didn't have the great TITLE then. Now we (Boxing Day) rebel with modern art.)
From Art in the 21st Century


The new exhibition features art from the first decade of the 21st century - that would mean the last 10 years. Some of the pieces we'd seen before in the collection. Others, of course, were new to us. Our favorite were the interactive pieces - an infinity room with black-light glowing balls (we'd seen this - and decided to not wait in line again),
From Art in the 21st Century
twin slides twisting down from the second floor (only one of us as able to slide - guess who),
From Art in the 21st Century
a giant table filled with (white) Lego's for building the city of the 21st century,
From Singles 2011
a fabulous swimming pool illusion where you can stand (dryly) at the bottom of the pool or look down at others doing so, and
From Art in the 21st Century
what would without a doubt be Zelda's favorite room - a room filled to about 4 feet with big purple balloons.
From Singles 2011
(Damn. How can I get her in there? The excitement would probably kill her... so maybe it isn't what I want to do for her birthday though Kevin and I have talked about which of our rooms we could do this in. Should we find the wind power, you'll be invited. But, hey, maybe YOU could blow up a few, too....)

Because I didn't see you there, and the museum is closed due to flooding, here are a few of the others we enjoyed.

From Art in the 21st Century
Giant sculpture made from what we lovingly call "poop bags". (These are empty; though on the opposite wall is a "painting" which includes elephant dung.)

From Art in the 21st Century
Good to see the massive swarm of silver balls, again. Though, I like them better when they are floating in a pool.

From Art in the 21st Century
I love drive-in movies - There was an old drive-in screen decaying outside of Urbana when I lived there. I took a few photos, but never ended up with anything that really, really, really pleased me. If I dig around, I don't think I'll find it here. I'm pretty sure I shot it on slide film. (Remember that? sigh.)

From Art in the 21st Century
Now, this room is REALLY cool. The coat hangers are hanging from a grid of wires near the ceiling. When the wires are stimulated by movement of the birds (which, by the way, despite the signage ARE NOT all zebra finches) they transfer that energy into a tone. We were not overly impressed by the "music" produced... but neither was that docent sitting in the corner impressed by me taking a photograph in a room in which NO PHOTOGRAPHY was allowed. Oops. Obviously, I didn't know, since the one and only photo I took was aimed directly at her!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

This is serious. This is Christmas in Brisbane.

From Singles 2011


I know. Christmas was so last year. But, maybe you've noticed that I've been on a break for the past many months and now I'm trying to make a comeback, however brief or lame it may come (back) to be. Christmas seems like as good a place to start as any - since here in Aus there is no holiday between the EKKA (state fair) and Dec 25. We do score Dec 26, though -that counts for something. This year it counted for a 4 day holiday weekend. I needed that. I had been sick and exhausted for about all of November and December. (I blame my mother - but that's another story. Maybe someday around next July I'll take time to tell it.)

I don't do Christmas well in Australia. It just isn't right for Christmas to be a summer holiday. There's nothing merry feeling about sweat. Of course, this year there was not so much sweat as rain. Rain. Rain. Rain. Rain. I'm sure you've heard. It's been wet.

We thought we'd try to jump into the holiday spirit by once again taking the "Holiday Lights Tour". This time, however, we thought we'd check out the lights on our side of town. I'm not sure if the rain dampened everyone's holiday effort or only those on the north side of Brisbane - but we were really disappointed. Our tour primarily featured decorated Churches... at least four...about the same number of houses that we saw. And, with few (and NOTABLE) exceptions it seems that the churches all buy their light up decorations (nativities (of course), "merry" kangaroos, emus, koalas, etc.) from the same catalogs. But, really, the exceptions should be shared.

From Christmas 2010
The Baptist church's exhibit was, as far as I could remember, exactly the same as it has been. They still win the award for "most light-up sheep".

From Christmas 2010
The Catholic church altered their giant light tree to make it a giant angel. Well done.

From Christmas 2010
Church #4 gets my award for oddest Christmas animal light. There, in front of the holiday dingo.... a snake. I guess we're letting bygones be bygones with reference to that apple snafu.

But, the oddest display of the season goes to church group number 3 - and I'm so sorry I can't tell you who they are. Maybe Kevin will remember... Just before the "Rain forest Walk" - you know, the walk through the bamboo trail to spot all the illuminated Buddhas - is this gazebo. Please excuse the poor focus - I have better photographs of the component parts... you just need to get some idea of the "whole".
From Christmas 2010

Obviously, on the fence you've got a pair of matching dancing skeletons
From Christmas 2010
with giant spiders on the roof and corners.
From Christmas 2010
What you can't see well - the tombstones inscribed with "Trick or Treat" and the "host" of the gazebo - standing in the center...
From Christmas 2010
Dracula. I am not kidding you. This is serious. This is Christmas in Brisbane.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

"Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk"

From Singles 2011


My former mate had been dead for all of three days when my mother set me up with the daughter of one of her neighbors. We met at dawn, in a big oak overlooking a pasture. Below us on the grass, a white calf took her mother's teat in her mouth, and my date shouted, "Faggot!"

"I think the word you're looking for is 'lesbian,'" I said. "though even that wouldn't make sense. What they're doing isn't sexual -- it's called nursing. It's the way mammals feed their young."

She said, "Yeah, faggot mammals."

-from "The Greiving Owl"

Breathless

From Singles 2011


"What has hands like theirs?"

"We do."

"Besides us."

"Nothing."

"There must be something."

"Yeah. There's them."

Friday, January 21, 2011

The Last Days of Ptolemy Grey

From Singles 2011


“But what if,” the child asked, “what if you ain’t sure that he mean you harm?”

“It’s you that mean to harm him,” Coy said, pointing his thumb and forefinger like a pistol. “Life ain’t fair. Life ain’t right. Life ain’t no good or bad. What it is is you, boy. You makin’ up your mind and takin’ your own path. …”

No One Sees You Like Your Dog Does



Zelda begs to differ.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Around our driveway

From Singles 2010


I know what you’re looking for. What is happening out in front of #51??

Last night – death and destruction. We returned home from our evening walk to find our blue tongue friend* headless and mostly innardless, smushed flat on our drive. I, of course, first thing looked to see if my tires most closely aligned with this hit-and-run scene. Ah, no. Then, I remembered that I took the company truck to the clinic today and Kevin pulled our car in behind us. Could have been me.

We gave him a moment of silence then, being garbage night, Kevin hefted his remains into the nearby bin. It was not a difficult scrape – AND when we walked down the driveway on our walk we hadn’t noticed the grisly scene – makes me wonder whether he’d been killed elsewhere and the skin dropped on our drive by those murderous crows.

This morning –confusion. Kevin, leaving before me, standing in the doorway says, “They’re working on the road.”

Ann: “What?”

Kevin: “They’re working on the road. There’s a man with uh-uh-uhs.”

Ann: “There’s a man with elephants????” pushing past to look out.

Kevin: “There’s a man with a YELLOW FENCE.”

Ann: “Elephants are way cooler.”

*By the way, this is what he looked like when he had a head and a third dimension.

Sunday, January 09, 2011

"Dexter is Delicious"

From Singles 2011

Typical medical arrogance and indifference; doctors think they're so smart, and all because they passed organic chemistry.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

For all my Aussie friends

(and Kiwis) who haven't carved a jack o'lantern... step by step. No blood lost.


Note: I took the bottom off the pumpkin. It makes it easier to put a candle in AND the "lid" doesn't shrivel over time and fall back into the "head".

Jack survived Halloween night out on our mailbox and is ready to play some games tonight!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Thursday, September 30, 2010

RIP Big Bird

From July travel - mostly OHIO


He was one of my squab - hatched 25 years ago and raised by hand and, thereby, doomed to a life of unrequited love of people. He always remembered me and greeted me with a hearty laugh and a flury of coos. He loved a bath or shower and whenever I was home I made sure he enjoyed one. This photo is from July 2010. A dear friend. The world has became more quiet.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Front Garden!

Eating Mexican in Brisbane

Just confirming - I still haven't found the Mexican Restaurant of my dreams. (And, I'd settle pretty much for Del Taco...though I'd do some pretty unscrupulous acts for Chipotle.) I was feeling heady with my successful morning, (was that sarcasm that just flew past?) and thought I'd check out "Enchiladas" in Aspley. All I wanted was a bean burrito. Kevin and I had stopped by a couple years ago one evening and thought the prices were much too high. But, I reasoned, for sure they'd have a lunch menu with more reasonable prices.

No.

I went ahead and paid $17.95 for my bean burrito (CRAZY!!) expecting to find something mammoth - two fisted - exquisite. Only to find the entire burrito could fit on the palm of my hand - with a similar volume of beans and rice on the side and a few stale corn chips - no salsa. When will I learn???????????????

Is there anybody out there with some restaurant experience who would like to open a Chipotle in Brisbane??? I can guarantee you two frequent fliers - and I know there'd be more. Please. I'm begging!

There IS NO Thorn Street exit from the Clem 7!

I knew I had a doctor's appointment this morning at 8:30 - and Kevin arranged time off to come with me. Google maps, which is now dead to me, told us it would take 38 minutes to get across town. That didn't include "peak hour" traffic - so, we left at 7:20. (Our original plan was to leave at 7:00 - since I wanted to get there early, becuase I expected there'd be paperwork to complete.)

This was our first experience with the new supercool tunnel under Brisbane - The Clem 7. As it turned out, it was also our second and third experience. My instructions requried us to leave the Clem 7 at Thorn Street exit - turn right and then right onto Schafston Ave. The first exit from the Clem 7 is for Wynnum Road to Schafston. I thought we should take that - but I wasn't insistent AND we had not gone 3.7 km yet. So, we continued....until we ran out of the Clem 7 and onto the Ipswich Highway. Oh great.

So, we turned around.

There are no exits of any kind when traveling north. So, we found ourselves back on Lutwytch Road. Turned around and tried again.

Roads did not match up, but we had our refedex and pulled over to identify our own path. We found the clinic, made a potentially illegal U-turn, parked in the garage and sauntered into the clinic at pretty much exactly 8:30.

Only to find my appointment is next week.

I guess that explains why no one called yesterday to confirm my appointment.

Fitzgibbon Chase

Saturday I came home to find that Fitzgibbon Chase, the new development off "our" round-about, was having an open house. Free sausage!!!!!!!!!! And, more than 1/2 a dozen homes to walk through. (Walked through before eating - so my ability to count was impaired. Actually, there's more to the story than this. Later.)

I was SO impressed - I MUST have one!!!** They all had CENTRAL AIR CONDITIONING and DOORS that linked the GARAGE to the HOUSE!!! OMG!!! Civilization has come to Australia! They all had beautiful outdoor living areas - which Kevin reminded me, should they be "our" living areas and assuming we actually had furniture in them, would soon be covered in spider webs and gecko shit. Ah, Queensland. This is why we cannot have anything nice.

We finished our house tours about 2:10. That would be 10 minutes after the end of the "sausage sizzle". No joy for us.

**Spiders, gecko shit and money aside (outrageous money), we won't have one because there are no more lots available.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Aussiecon 4

From Melbourne - Aussie con
Though it was weeks ago and I have recently, in fact THAT weekend, told Kevin I was going to take a hiatus from this blog, I thought I might scribble down some impressions from MY first World Con.

World Con = World Science Fiction (Speculative Fiction??) Convention. I learned that "new" S-word translation of/from the acronym SF while there. I'm not sure if it has "usurped" Science when used in naming the convention. Let's face it, the first thing that should be said is

"I don't know much."

My first World Con SHOULD have been 30 years ago when that was all I read and I read a lot of it. Then I would have known the writers, at least. But, graduate school and John (oh dear! I have forgotten those 2 middle initials!) Staddon* got in the way. John was my first advisor at Duke and I think it was at my admission interview where he asked me what I read and was INCREDULOUS that I didn't read any non-fiction. I guess I internalized something of a message there: grown ups with graduate degrees were more broadly read. So, I stumbled into general fiction, mystery, thrillers... but couldn't grow enough hair on my chest to read non-fiction.

Since I knew so little, other than the 5 or 6 short stories that were nominated for HUGO awards, I was pretty ill prepared to select "panels" to attend. Therefore, I set a goal to create a reading list - to find a few new (oops, 'bout wrote science) speculative fiction authors or books that I might read to put myself back "in touch" with my roots. That took me to panels titled things like "The Best Books You've Never Heard Of". (What is most amazing about that panel was that I had actually READ one of those books: Jasper Fforde's "The Eyre Affair". Thumb's up.)

When there were no appropriately themed panels (a panel being a collection of 2 or 3 or 4 people who sit at a long table facing a room a chairs, have microphones and a room title but often no real agenda, outline, purpose, or preparation) I floated. The first day this resulted in bitter disappointment. (You probably already picked up on that by the definition of panel provided above.) UGHHHHHHHHH. I wanted to run screaming from rooms as I listened to people have conversations about topics I knew nothing about and as a consequence never wanted to hear about again. Even a topic I thought I'd love - Ghost Stories Across Cultures - was a painful exercise in filling time with 4 voices. It was obvious that the panelists did not communicate before the panel about making an outline, establishing a theme, identifying relevant or important topics, ANYTHING. My rambling here is a taste of what I experienced. (Sorry.)

After the first day, I got smarter. I established my goal - see above - and when there was nothing I was pretty confident I'd enjoy, I decided to listen to people read - read out loud, I mean. And, in this way, I enjoyed the rest of the days. (Thanks, also, to enjoying the company of friends: Eric, Iain, Llyn, Aaron, Yasmine (who I must thank for the group photo).)

I guess this is the place to note that by far the MOST interesting events were scheduled for the kids' room. I'd drift by and peer in looking for other taller, older people building models, getting face paint... In particular, I really, really, really, really wanted to hear how they handled the discussion on Sunday, "Surviving the zombie apocalypse". (How did they handle the tricky questions like what to do about the dog - or baby?!! I can't maintain an objective viewpoint when Kevin and I discuss this - how do you tell a child that they need to dump the barking dog so as not to lead the zombies to the family hiding place??) I'm not totally sure they followed through with the scheduled discussion. All I saw happening was lego building. (Note: the discussion was scheduled to follow the 10 AM zombie make-up session. Not sure what side of the zombie apocalypse these folks are supporting.)
From Melbourne - Aussie con

Saturday night - Costume Competition. We RUSHED through dinner to get to the auditorium by 7 pm only to learn that the doors opened at 7 but the show didn't begin until 8. While I don't want to disparage any of the generous and talented folks who took the time and effort to create costumes, it was very disappointing that there was all this anticipation for a total of 10 costumers. Ten. OK. Maybe eight. I can only blame the lack of widespread Halloween celebrating in Australia.

Sunday night - The Hugo Awards. Fortunately, Australians have experience and understanding of award shows. They even have mastered the art of voting - with record setting numbers of votes being cast this year! This, I believe, is easily attributed to the practice of mandatory voting in Australia. (This is not to insult the Hugo nominees or winners - Maybe your entry was responsible for the increased voter turnout.)

Beyond the con- Other than making a special effort to see the casino "fire show" along the river, we only made one trip away from the convention. Sunday afternoon we strolled down to the Australian Centre for the Moving Image (ACMI) to see the Tim Burton exhibition. Very cool. No photography permitted. And, no time for Abba World. Sigh. (Note- link takes you to the MoMA Tim Burton site - the original location for this collection, I believe.)


From Melbourne - Aussie con

*Google confirmed the wispy memory floating forward - John E. R. Staddon.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Work story

Been a long time since I've had one of those. I've had some (surprising) successes and some sad cases. The usual. Working too much for the next 6 weeks - but nothing can be done about that. I need a nap.

Anyway. Tuesday the nurses were entering microchip data into the computer. When people get a pet microchipped they need to provide both contact details for themselves and for a designated alternate party. I tell them this is the most important information on the form. "Think about someone who doesn't move or change their phone number, because while you may remember to change your details (I did after only living in Brisbane for 4 years!), your alternate contact will likely never think about it.

So, this form.

Alternate contact: Christ.

What's better - I've got his cell phone!

NOTE - This is ALL true. We didn't call Christ, however, so I don't know what he's been up to.

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Pygmy

From Singles 2010



"Pleased to meet you,Pygmy." Say, "I'm Reverend Tony."

Mouths of operative me say, "Happy to engage you, crafty stooge of superstition."

Mouths of operative me say, "how is you healthy, puppet of Satan?"

Worship leader fashion forehead to lift single hair brow arching above eye. Devil Tony preserve smile. Say, "This little young 'un needs to practice his English."


Pygmy is a foreign operative/terrorist who along with a cohort of similarly trained agents is "planted" in an American Junior High School. His observations of life in America (featuring school (of course), church, and Wal-Mart) are amusing in part because of the way they are expressed. His back story of becoming an agent is horrific - though to him it seems less so. After all, he's been prepared for this, learning early on the nature of good and evil and what god wants... He wants to hurt you but not feel bad about it.

Acclaimed instructor say, every today must human follow example given from deity. Action of mercy, say instructor, an insult to eye of deity. Say deity no display such mercy. Say operative acting mercy place self on top, standing on top head of deity. Envision self possess more wisdom deity.

Esteemed instructor say top deity ordains all living creation suffer -- wasted disease or screaming wearing covered blood-- then must some today all to die. Only tragedy if suffer and die during innocent. No sin, no crime, then extinction not earned. Such waste an affront to deity.

"Because all suffer then die," say instructor, stroking white fur rodent, "then operative must ear own some today extinction."

Justify future cruelty acts of deity. Make of deity no sadism, instead vast wisdom judge....

More sin, more crime, say instructor, more deity will rejoice upon extinction of operative.


While I found parts of this to be very amusing, it was ALWAYS quite challenging to read. I only "got better" at reading this dialect by skipping over the longer descriptions.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

West End(ish) - Wall Art Tour

It was a beautiful day and as it turns out the store I wanted to shop in didn't open at 9 AM. They opened at 10. More time to stroll.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Miss Zelda is a very, very, very, very bad dog

From art plus


Meanwhile, Zelda, problem child, had to have a foreign body removed yesterday. It's about time. Given all the things I've watched her, stopped her from, and failed to stop her from eating!

I had seen that she demolished one of my socks one night last week when I was so tired I went to bed at 8 (and I swear that I put that sock in the hamper....the OTHER one was there). That is to say I found pieces of it the next morning. On Sunday we took her for a walk and Kevin was complaining that she wasn't acting right...when she stopped and vomited up sock strips. I picked them up with the poo bag(!) and we headed home. She vomited several more times - at least 2 or 3 times on the walk and then 6 or more times after we got home. I took her in to the clinic and placed an IV and took an xray.... and checked her on Monday. She was better but not right. We tried a smooth muscle relaxant since my boss thought it might just be cramping and she felt better and slept peacefully through the night. The next morning she was still uncomfortable, so I scheduled an u/s for her and - foreign body. It ended up being some blue rubbery thing I HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE!!!!!!!!! She finds weird treasures (mostly bones but perhaps blue rubbery things, too) in our backyard. She is a very, very, very bad girl. The bowel didn't look overly healthy, so we're keeping our fingers crossed that it all goes well.

She's wreaking havoc at the clinic today without me. (Chewed her IV line into three pieces, urinated all over her bedding, and then - and THIS is very impressive - she chewed the power cord to the heating pad they gave her. Last I heard they still hadn't restored the reception computers! Cringe with embarrassment.)

Tomorrow - I'll bring her home.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Wednesday afternoon guests

From mid August


At our back door. I'm not sure what these magpies had in mind but they were very forward! Afterward, I looked out to see they had a third friend "hanging" with them. A kookaburra.

From mid August

Which leads us to

Our car.

Once we got back to Brisbane (no additional problems) we left the engine running and dashed inside to change our clothes and pick up Zelda. Then, we drove to Aspley Automotive and turned the engine off. (Yep. It wouldn't restart.) We thought we could get the car to the garage and give Zelda a good walk on a beautiful sunny day. Perfect! Finally, a plan that was going to work!

Little did we anticipate that there would be a BONUS. Our walk took us past the Aspley State High School where their school sign informed us that they were performing "The Wiz" on Tuesday! Wow! I had to see this!!

Kevin is so agreeable. He did approach me later, after the heat of the excitement when I was no longer repeating the very few lines I know of "Ease on Down the Road" ("Come on now....ease on down, ease on down the ro-oad."), to let me know this was probably not going to be a "Glee" moment.

"Oh,no. I know that. I'm not expecting "Glee" performances."

I have been to High School musicals. I have been IN High School musicals.

Funny thing, though. It wasn't 10 minutes into Tuesday night's performance, when Dorothy is struggling to be heard off-key over the overly loud and similarly though differently off tune band, that Kevin leaned over and confessed HE was expecting something a bit more "Glee" -ful.

From mid August


We had such fun! I'm fully convinced we were the only members of the audience that might have been labeled "General Public" (as my call the day before to enquire whether I could purchase a ticket at the door was met by the need to put me on hold for three minutes while they figured out (pedophile!!!!) whether that would be possible.) The Scarecrow was good - and it makes more sense for the Scarecrow to be female than for the Tin Man (who was now the Tin Girl). The Lion, the Whiz, and the Wicked Witch (Evilene) approached their parts with zest and were great audience favorites. (Interestingly, they were really the only men performing - - yes, the Wicked Witch of the West was played by a man.) I cannot say that anyone had a particularly good or bad voice because the sound control was really, really, really abysmal. (Sound was provided by the 11th and 12th year Sound Production Classes. These students are not ready for the real world.) We are, of course, going to hang onto our programs for the next 20 years in case someone becomes FAMOUS.

Gold Coast Sunday

Ah. Doesn't that sound great. But, wait.

Car battery dead.

And, this time it is not my fault. Really.

We wanted to be away before 7 AM since we were anticipating a 90 minute drive. We came close - 7:06 - after charging the battery with one of our best Australian investments. On the way down we passed Ikea and the Daisy Hill Koala Park (you thought I'd say puppy farm - admit it).

"We should stop on the way home. See what Ikea wonders we can't live without. Actually stop and visit the park."

"After we take a walk on the beach."

From mid August


We made it to the Yacht Club in just over an hour - right on time for Paul and Kim's wedding reception breakfast. The food was great and the company excellent and we got a new deck of Tichu cards! Although you can hardly tell with my lousy under-exposed, overly back lit photograph of cake cutting (fruit cake - very Australian), Kim looked very, very glamorous. Probably with an extra "u".

Afterward, we debated. Do we walk to the beach, leaving the car in the lot since it won't start again? Or, do we jump it and dash for home without another "stop"? This was a day when having a mobile phone might have availed us with a modicum of comfort.

We opted to head directly home. Our only beach time on the Gold Coast being the view from the club and our little umbrella/chair seating assignments.
From mid August

Friday, August 13, 2010

Friday off!!

This is my first weekend off since our trip to the US. (For those of you who aren't living my life, that would be three consecutive weekends of work.) Yippee! That is the only thing I can think, say, do! That, and make a sojourn to Roma Street to take a few photographs.

I'm not sure what's going on - if I'm going through a more picky phase or if my camera focus is failing or if I'm just taking some lousy photographs...but really I have nothing to show from last Sunday's visit to the Ekka (without photographs nothing really happens...at least in my blog.) From today - only a couple. Because it is already 7:41 and I turn into a pumpkin at 8 PM - even on my days off - I'm going to cheat and just throw up the slide show. What I like in particular: the stamen of the white flower (some sort of vine) looks like a collection of dancers, the black and white image of the poppy, and the ducklings. Who doesn't love a duckling?

Breaking Bad



We've just finished binging on three seasons of "Breaking Bad" and my withdrawal symptoms are starting. Wow. The last season. The last episode. The last 3 minutes. How am I supposed to go without until July 2011???

If you haven't taken time to watch the series, run now to your local library. Join me in my pain.