NNV- A Blog Down Under

Going home.

I haven't been home since July when we picked up Zuperfliegen and I am ready for a refill. I don't really care what the season - spring, summer, fall. There's no chance I'll make it for winter this year, however. I can imagine all sorts of wonderful things I might do: May is my birthday, June is Poultry days, July is full of fresh vegetables, August is fair season, September and October with autumn leaves and beautiful blue skies and crisp, clear, cool evenings - and Halloween! November has Thanksgiving and December, Christmas. I can't miss. I am so ready.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Day 16 - Dream house

Let us start with the obvious. There are no spiders in my dream house. No snakes in the attic, either, or roaches in the toaster. I'd rather not have geckos pooing on my walls. Is this too much to ask?

Kevin and I make regular trips to check out local "Open Houses" and discuss what we like and what we don't. We agree: We like Central Air Conditioning. We like garages that have doors that lead into the house. We like screens on windows. We like bedrooms where there's room between the bed and the wall on three sides! We like two story houses. We don't like the idea that a tiny little house that includes spiders, geckos, bedrooms where you can't fit a chest of drawers, and only the occasional room air conditioner costs $400,000. Really. And, there's no guarantee there isn't a carpet python in the attic.

So, I must start with my dream house is located in a far away land.

Size - for the two of us, 1400 sq feet was spacious. We might need a little more - but ideal is certainly no McMansion. Four bedrooms or three and a study. A kitchen with lots of light and enough counter space so I could cook without first washing any dishes that had piled up...not that things like that happen. (I meant the dishes, not the cooking...though...) We need a comfortable game room with easy access to a toilet and good sound insulation from the place I might be sleeping. I want a porch with a swing. And, I've already mentioned the sincere pumpkin patch and Christmas tree field. I've seen blueprints of houses built around a central courtyard - that's pretty cool, too.

I don't care much whether the floors are carpeted or hardwood - particularly since in a dream house there is a dream housekeeper who will keep the floors vacuumed and mopped and the furniture and baseboards dusted. They might let me paint walls - or at least help for an hour or so. And, I'm allowed to put nails in the walls and hang art.

I did mention the central air conditioning, didn't I? We'll need a furnace, as well, since I'm living in a four season climate. (Don't worry, Kevin. The staff can shovel snow and the garage is attached so our car won't need to be de-iced each morning.)

The master bedroom is large enough to have a chair with good lighting and a little table to hold my book and cup of tea as well as having both a closet AND a chest of drawers or two.

There's a deep tub for soaking and a shower with one head low for me and one high for Kevin.

The house is far enough removed from neighbors that the curtains never need to be closed unless someone feels that makes the space cozy.

At one point I wanted a dark room. I'm not sure any more. I don't think I'd use it often enough. I will still want the greenhouse, however.

You, of course, are welcome to come to visit or stay for a while - particularly if you like to cook. We can stroll through the gardens, sip iced tea on the porch, or cocoa by the fire. You'll just have to prepared to share your bed with Zelda.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Day 15- Verse

Here's a poem my Grandmother used to recite. She enjoyed poetry and read or recited a number of children's poems to her grandchildren. Obviously, since this one ALMOST has my name, it was a favorite of mine. She was such of fan of James Whitcomb Riley - I remember visiting his home in Indiana.

LITTLE ORPHANT ANNIE

by: James Whitcomb Riley (1849-1916)

INSCRIBED WITH ALL FAITH AND AFFECTION

To all the little children: -- The happy ones; and sad ones;
The sober and the silent ones; the boisterous and glad ones;
The good ones -- Yes, the good ones, too; and all the lovely bad ones.

LITTLE Orphant Annie's come to our house to stay,
An' wash the cups an' saucers up, an' brush the crumbs away,
An' shoo the chickens off the porch, an' dust the hearth, an' sweep,
An' make the fire, an' bake the bread, an' earn her board-an'-keep;
An' all us other childern, when the supper-things is done,
We set around the kitchen fire an' has the mostest fun
A-list'nin' to the witch-tales 'at Annie tells about,
An' the Gobble-uns 'at gits you
Ef you
Don't
Watch
Out!

Wunst they wuz a little boy wouldn't say his prayers,--
An' when he went to bed at night, away up-stairs,
His Mammy heerd him holler, an' his Daddy heerd him bawl,
An' when they turn't the kivvers down, he wuzn't there at all!
An' they seeked him in the rafter-room, an' cubby-hole, an' press,
An' seeked him up the chimbly-flue, an' ever'-wheres, I guess;
But all they ever found wuz thist his pants an' roundabout:--
An' the Gobble-uns 'll git you
Ef you
Don't
Watch
Out!

An' one time a little girl 'ud allus laugh an' grin,
An' make fun of ever' one, an' all her blood-an'-kin;
An' wunst, when they was "company," an' ole folks wuz there,
She mocked 'em an' shocked 'em, an' said she didn't care!
An' thist as she kicked her heels, an' turn't to run an' hide,
They wuz two great big Black Things a-standin' by her side,
An' they snatched her through the ceilin' 'fore she knowed what she's about!
An' the Gobble-uns 'll git you
Ef you
Don't
Watch
Out!

An' little Orphant Annie says, when the blaze is blue,
An' the lamp-wick sputters, an' the wind goes woo-oo!
An' you hear the crickets quit, an' the moon is gray,
An' the lightnin'-bugs in dew is all squenched away,--
You better mind yer parunts, an' yer teachurs fond an' dear,
An' churish them 'at loves you, an' dry the orphant's tear,
An' he'p the pore an' needy ones 'at clusters all about,
Er the Gobble-uns 'll git you
Ef you
Don't
Watch
Out!

Day 14- A picture you love

Really? One picture. I've got one for each season - plus two of my favorite photographs.

The first painting of the goldfish (Matisse)- this poster has been hanging in my home (well, in the my US homes) since graduate school. I love the color - and the fish never die.

For summer - an O'Keefe sunflower. Sunflowers always make me happy.

For fall (Van Gogh) - what color!

For winter (Monet) - I sent this as a Christmas card one year. It captures and beauty and the isolation of winter. It is wonderful!

Photo 1 - This reminds me how much fun I have with my family. Probably taken about 1983 - I had to borrow the black coat and sunglasses. I'm not as cool as my mom or Renee.

Photo 2 - Kevin as a sophomore at OSU. He has his honest and unguarded smile. These fresh moments have been so difficult to capture for me.

Day 13-Goals

I'm not a very good goal setter. I recognize the value in setting goals but I'm filled with trepidation whenever I set pen to paper with the word "GOALS" scribbled atop the sheet. Seems it works that way with electronic pages, as well. So, I've been thinking - kinda like you might imagine a person peeking through fingertips at a bloody scene on the movie screen - and I have some glimpses. And, then there's my concern that if I forget a goal, I've missed my opportunity and will never be allowed to achieve it. Feel free to pull on your amateur psychologist hat and...whatever amateur psychologists do. Walk in the rain?

1. Raise a healthy, happy and well-adjusted son. Not sure how that is done. Good food, plenty of sleep, exposure to lots of ideas, art, and love.

2. Reduce suffering and maximize wellness. Treat all, whether two or four legged, with compassion.

3. Move. Someday I want my own sincere pumpkin patch and a small plot of Christmas trees. You know, the essentials.

4. Create something meaningful or beautiful - preferably on a regular basis. Given my basic insecurity I'd hope someone else might find it worthy, too.

5. Return to my daily practice of qi gong.

6. Eat more vegetables.

7. Express gratitude. Recognize all the gifts I'm given every day.

OK - I'm now 5 days behind. Best to most this and move on.

Day 12-What you believe

I believe what my cousin Todd taught me while water skiing - "If you are going to fall, fall funny...(throw yourself into an endeavor without worry about what you might look like or what others might say) so we can laugh at you." (Bringing joy and laughter is important. Know how to laugh at yourself.)

I believe what I once read on a bumper sticker. "Life's too short to dance with ugly people." Don't get hung up on or tied to judgemental, belittling, hurtful people. (This has nothing to do with physical appearance, or really, even, dancing....though I do believe in dancing.)

I believe in a liberal education. I believe in libraries. I believe in reading, writing, arts, mathematics and SCIENCE. Blind me, baby.

I believe in generosity with respect to material "wealth", patience, acceptance, and affection. I believe in love. I believe in friendship.

I believe in learning from mistakes. The best stories come from error and pain.

I believe in three good meals a day - everyday. I believe in fresh fruits and vegetables. I believe in going to bed and rising early. Then, do something useful. Create love or beauty or further understanding. I am not a believer in between meal snacks....

I believe every dog should be loved and made part of a family. Dogs should not be left to suffer alone. Everyone needs a cuddle. Cats, they're different - they vary too much to make a blanket statement. Ultimately, I wish safe and secure lives for all creatures.

I believe I am imperfect and that I have no time to worry about imperfection. I believe those that know me best will find it easy to find times when my behavior has fallen short of my beliefs. I believe tomorrow will be a new day.

*The photo - that was taken during the aforementioned water skiing lesson. I never was successful at standing on my skis. I hope I managed to fall funny enough.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Day 11-Favorite TV shows

Kevin and I are pretty fond of TV - though we also think we are very particular about what we watch. This list is going to be largely current or recent programs with only a couple older programs.

"Star Trek." Now, this may not be most people's idea of great television and it is likely if I were to watch it now I'd find it most cheesy, but when I was a kid I LOVED "Star Trek". I not only watched every episode but I collected and read all the "books". For the record, I've never watched anything but the original series.

"SOAP". Re watched this series a year or two ago. Not as magical as my memory, but significant enough to make the list.

"The Bob Newhart Show". Kevin and I have watched a few episodes of both this and "The Mary Tyler Moore Show". In 2011, "Bob" wins hands down.

"Seinfeld" and Seinfeld on steroids, "Curb Your Enthusiasm". It's a tough road to walk making a show about unlikeable characters who are fun enough to be sort-of likable.

"Saturday Night Live" - the early, early, early years- Gilda Radner, Chevy Chase, Bill Murray, Eddie Murphy, Jane Curtin, Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi... After that, I got to be too old to stay up that late.

"The X Files". I love Fox and Scully - what great monsters!

"The Shield", "The Sopranos", and "Breaking Bad" - excellent on the edge of your seat stories featuring interesting leading men. Antiheroes all the way.

"Arrested Development" - most likely THE best comedy series ever created. We gained so much more appreciation for the show by watching it in its 3 season entirety two years ago.

"The Wire" - best drama - not a weak season.

"The Office" (excepting this last season), "Community", "Modern Family". We build our week around modern comedy.

Maybe, "Frisky Dingo". It was a lot of absurdist fun.

What have I forgotten?....

Day 10-Something you're afraid of

This is WAY too easy....

Do you know there is actually a statistic on the NUMBER of spiders that the average person swallows in their sleep each year?

While staying up one night watching SLN, I spied a large wolf spider scurrying across the living room floor. I grabbed the nearest weapon - a baby gate - and hurled it at the spider - knowing that if I'd use it as a club the spider would simply have jumped onto the top, run up, and gone FOR MY NECK.

I have all but given up gardening since moving to Australia in order to avoid spiders.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

And, I have bad dreams about zombies, too.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Day 9-A picture of your friends

I need to have a HUGE party and invite my disparate friends from across time and nations so I have ONE photograph to put in this slot. As I don't really have the time for this (I'm already a day behind) I will settle with a slide show. By no means should this slide show suggest to anyone that these are all my friends. This isn't even all my Christmas card list... but they are the photos I have access to. It seems that as I've gotten older my tendency to take photographs of my friends has diminished - so while I have to choose among, albeit out of focus, photos of my high school chums, I have only a photograph of Tim from grad school, and virtually no photographs from any of my work mates (in the US) and absolutely none from vet school. Even if I have photographs, they may not have been scanned and transported to Australia. So, bottom line, if I don't have a photo of YOU, please send me one. I can fix this!

Monday, March 07, 2011

Day 8-A place you've traveled to

Obviously, this one has been difficult. I feel like I've been very fortunate to do a significant amount of traveling. Based on the expectations I formed growing up in Versailles, I feel sort of like every day I'm still traveling. (If my point of reference was a little less humble, I'd probably recognize that my travel has not been all that great.) In addition, I've written a lot in this blog about traveling - traveling within Australia (Sydney, Blue Mountains, the Sunshine Coast, Darwin, Melbourne, the Red Center), traveling around the South Island of New Zealand, and some traveling in the US (Ohio, NY, Arizona). My criteria for this entry, therefore, became
1. someplace I'd not described earlier in this blog and
2. someplace I'd have a few photos to jazz up my description.

Now, in 2002 just before Kevin moved "home" to Ohio to be with me, I flew down to Australia and we spend 2 months driving clockwise around the country. We managed to visit every state and territory - though I didn't actually conclude the loop. I had to fly back. Kevin, on the other hand, spent another several weeks finishing the task. This might have qualified - since I've not written about Tasmania or Western Australia, the Nullarbor, the pinnacles, Monkey Mia.... BUT, I have no photographs - here. They are all on photo Cd's in storage in Ohio.

I did have a few photos from Savannah, Georgia which is one of my favorite places to visit. And, somewhere I have a few from a road trip I took between Fayetteville and Wilmington, NC on a beautiful, foggy fall day. Ultimately, I've selected a hike we took in 2005 in Glacier National Park (Montana) to Iceberg Lake. We were in the park for Kevin's family reunion. July. I was recently unemployed - recent enough to have absolutely NO INKLING that in only 3 months Kevin would be moving to Brisbane so that one of us was working.

I have my journal from that summer here with me. (It is not because I've traveled with ALL MY personal records - its just that my journal entries occur WAY LESS often than my blog entries. Sometimes - not uncommonly - months go by without a notice. So, this was the journal still "in play" when I moved in March.) This is all to say that I am able to give you a bit more information than what you'd expect if I were relying on my memory.

This was the second hike of the day. I wanted to see the icebergs in Iceberg Lake. We started the 4.8 mile hike at 4 PM. Given the painful experience of the previous day's hike (huge elevation change) which resulted in a very slow pace AND rushing through the encroaching darkness on our hike at Cradle Mountain Tasmania (it is very dark in the wilderness and there is really not much effort make to create a smooth walking surface), I made the executive decision that we would "turn around" at 6 PM, iceberg or no iceberg. (For those of you who are Queenslanders, it ISN'T dark yet at 6 PM. It wouldn't be dark for another 2 hours. I know. Maybe you should sit down while that sinks in.)

It was a fabulous day for hiking- perfect blue jeans and t-shirt weather. The wild flowers were blooming and the streams ran full.

We met several groups of people hiking out from Iceberg Lake - most walking with walking sticks to which were attached jingle bells. People do this in order to warn off (frighten off) bears. My explanation, and the only one that feels reasonable, is that Santa tried to enslave bears (prior to reindeer) to pull his sleigh. Bears retain this ancestral memory and avoid the jingle, jingle, jingle. As we had no bells, we opted for an occasional carol.

We did make it to THE Iceberg Lake. No real icebergs just some ice rimming the lake and ice/snow on the surrounding peaks. Very pretty. While there we heard a great rumbling roar - AVALANCHE! Though the event occurred outside our view, the force was sufficient to create waves in the lake.

Recently, we learned that the next reunion will once again be in Montana at Glacier. Unfortunately, we won't be able to attend. But, we're ready - maybe in a few more years. I've got a list of "to do" hikes in my journal!

Sunday, March 06, 2011

Day 7-Favorite movies

You know, the thing about movies, the one you remember best is the last one you saw. I can list a few "oldies", but it must be said I haven't seen them for a while and my tastes may have changed.

"Brazil" (1985) - this was my compatibility test movie in the 80s. If you didn't like "Brazil", we were not going to be dating. (Of course the funny thing about this is that it never really got applied to anyone. I was never flush with invitations.) Recently re watched and it is still marvelous. And, the best news, Kevin thinks so, too. Whew.

"After Hours" (1985) - Watching "Brazil" reminded me of another film from about the same time I adored. I read the memorable quotes on IMDB and am still amused. Ergo, I think it will still stand.

"Junebug" (2005) - Great character piece with magical performances.

"Ba wang bie ji (Farewell My Concubine)" (1993)
and
"Il Postino (The Postman) (1994)" - both great though unconventional love stories.

"Amélie (Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain)" (2001)
and
"Ju Dou" (1990) - two of the most visually stunning films I can remember. What color! (And "Ju Dou" gets these high marks from seeing a flawed DVD that skipped and stuttered on TV. Would love to see it again. Call me.)

"Hero" (2004)
and
"As It Is in Heaven (Så som i himmelen)" (2004) - beautiful stories, beautiful music, beautifully shot.

"Little Miss Sunshine" (2006)
"Napoleon Dynamite" (2004)
and
"Lars and the Real Girl" (2007)- I laughed. I cried. I laughed until I cried.

"Spellbound" (2002)
"Hoop Dreams" (1994) - both moving documentaries. Ah, life.
"Best in Show" (2000) - smile.

This list may be amended as my memory improves....

Saturday, March 05, 2011

Day 6-A picture of something that makes you happy

From Singles 2009

"My bags are packed, I'm ready to go..."

There are so many photos I could have chosen. You'd guess most of them - family, friends, Zelda. Maybe you'd guess a shining disco ball, a shelf full of books, watermelon, banana cream pie, mashed potatoes, fresh ripe tomatoes - maybe with gravy... But, I chose the jet. Whether it is bringing me a loved one or taking me home, I'm happy. I still enjoy the process of flying - with a few exceptions (namely the horrible seats on the flight from Brisbane to Darwin). And, despite the outrageous length of the flight, I enjoy flying internationally - movies on demand, cloth napkins with my in flight meals, but mostly, I end up being someplace pretty wonderful.

I'm running late with this. No big surprise. Will catch up...

Day 5-Your favorite recipes

Grandmother’s Banana Pudding

¾ cup brown sugar
3 Tbs cornstarch (corn flour for Australians)
2 cups milk
2 eggs- beaten

1 tsp vanilla
2 Tbs butter
3 or 4 bananas
½ cup chopped peanuts

Combine sugar and cornstarch. Gradually stir in milk. Cook over medium heat stirring constantly until mixture boils. THEN, cook 2 minutes more (still stirring).

Stir a small amount of pudding into the beaten eggs. (I added spoonful by spoonful until it was about ½ egg and ½ pudding.) Pour this into the hot pudding.

Cook for several more minutes. (Four minutes is suggested by my mother.)

Remove from heat, add vanilla and butter.

Layer pudding, sliced bananas, and peanuts – Make 2 or 3 layers.

Hoping one recipe will suffice. Typing in a recipe is pretty boring work - and there's nothing to eat after. You'll note, there are NO Vanilla Wafers in this recipe. There never were - and there never will be. You can keep your soggy cookies.

Anyone feeling cheated and desirous of a recipe for Kidney Bean Salad or Strawberry Pie or recently Ann's Mean Lentel Soup is welcome to contact me directly.

ETA - I really was not thinking out of the box on this one - or my favorite recipes would have been more like --

Pick tomato off vine - wash off dirt - eat while still warm.
Cut peach into quarters then peal off that fuzzy skin. Eat.
Slice section out of watermelon or Indiana cantalope - eat fruit. Cold is best for watermelon while warm for cantalope (or musk melon).
Pick strawberry or BLACK raspberry from vine - eat.

Friday, March 04, 2011

Day 4-Your parents

That's my mom and dad. It isn't much of a photograph. They didn't have any photos taken during their wedding. (I guess they were waiting for me and I was 8 years late. Sorry folks.) Instead, my Uncle Carroll took 8mm home movies of the wedding reception. This still, then, I took from the projection of the movie. I used it for the invitation to their 50th wedding anniversary a few years ago.

I've often thought that my parents were much cooler people than I was/am. (Note - I'm struggling with verb tense here - and hoping that any and all English teachers are too busy protesting the potential loss of their pensions to make note of all my mistakes.) They are much more social than I am - able to talk with people they meet and make new friends. I attribute this quality to their both being "middle children". They're adaptable - forgetting to take the suitcase they packed for vacation didn't create any distress - just lots of laughter. They were playful and amusing and happy to help. They were affectionate with each other and with their daughters - though not "touchy feely" with other people.

The quality that I most envy, however, is they were both able to tell a joke. At least once a week while I was growing up one of them would come home from work with a joke to tell at dinner. The jokes were meant for each other. I just got lucky to be there, too. (Me, I can't tell a joke. I can't remember the punch line even a couple hours after hearing it. And, if I remember the punch line, I couldn't begin to set the the story.) The photo above is a joke being passed between them while walking down the aisle at my sister's wedding. I'd tell you more about it, but I can't remember.

Thursday, March 03, 2011

Day 3-Your first love

First loves are special. They become the yardstick by which we measure next loves. And, the loves after that. I am constructed so that first loves linger. I still wear a shirt I bought for a trip to NYC in 1979. I still revisit my childhood security blanket. I'm ready to name our son after my first dog love. First loves change me forever. Maybe that is true for everyone. I have only been me.

My childhood crushes were atypical: No boy bands. No pop stars. (Those are really the same, aren't they?) Yogi Bear. Captain Kirk. (I offer no explanations. You'll remember, I'm not that kind of psychologist.)

I loved my parents. I told them I didn't want to grow up. I wanted to stay with them. (I'm sure that frightened them. See above.)

My first almost grown-up love was Fritz the Wondercar. Fritz was a Ford Fiesta. Four speed. Lightweight and zippy. I borrowed it from my parents in High School. I taught countless friends to drive a stick.

In college a couple friends and I drove it to Florida for spring break.

When I graduated from college my parents gave me the car.

I took it with me to Durham. White car. Black plastic interior. No air conditioning. Lots of brake problems. Still, we traveled back and forth between Ohio and North Carolina many times. Springs and Falls the back would be filled with my fold up furniture and clothes and books and art for my walls. (Back then I could hang things on the walls of my rented homes.)

I started to write a fable about Fritz the Wondercar. I never got further than the opening line... "Once upon a time, where east met west and north met south there lived a car."

Eventually, Fritz died of old age. He rusted through the floor, so like the Flintstones you could see my feet on the road. I carried him around as long as I could until my landlord told me I had to dispose of him. Scrap metal.

While I've had several very useful, utilitarian, reliable, even attractive cars since, I've never named another. I've never given one my heart.

This essay could have featured several other "first loves". What's the most important thing about any discussion of my loves is this: I'm very, very, very lucky to have had a first love come back to my life.

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Day 2- Meaning behind your blog name

Lets start with the easy bit. This is a blog. I am writing from "Down Under". As a phrase it is reminiscent of the classic Men at Work song- "Land Down Under".

Now, with that success under your belt: go ahead and write the capital letters NNV on a sheet of paper. Now, imagine that you are looking at it from the opposite side of the world. (Turn it over.) It should look like ANN (but without the little cross piece on the A.) Was that so hard?

This is about as clever as I've ever been.

Day 1-Introduce, recent picture, 15 interesting facts

My god. This starts out to be very demanding. Wouldn't 15 facts serve as introduction enough? And, the photo. Seems that interests a lot of people these days. I've asked Kevin to take one, but that is still in the planning stage - So, here's one from Boxing Day when we went to the GOMA.

1. In the second grade, maybe third, I wrote an "essay" about what I wanted to be when I grew up. For some reason I included what I'd do and what my best friend, Barb, would do. I can't remember who would do what, but one of us was a scientist and the other a veterinarian. Now, several years later, I can report to you I've been both. ("Yes, I was that kind of psychologist." I never get to say that - only the inverse.) I have not succeeded in matching my first "when I grow up" ambition - I have never been a Flying Red Horse.

2. My first job was detasseling corn for DeKalb. That means I walked through rows of corn plants removing the "feathery bit" (the male part) on the top of each stalk. I'm not sure whether I was good or bad - I really only know that I was slow. I'd come out of my row to be greeted by the rest of the crew sitting and resting and the "chief" saying "OK, everybody back in the field."

3. My favorite food as a kid was dried beef. Haven't eaten it in decades. Though I still regularly eat grapefruit and olives. (I was not a candy kid.)

4. Every long term relationship I've been involved with has endured periods of being a "long distance" relationship - even my marriage. Hence, I am a pretty good stamp licker.

5. For my last year of vet school, I refused to look at my quarterly grade cards. I was a bit confused when classmates were congratulating me at graduation. "Hey, we're ALL graduating." If I'd gone to our "End of School" party, I would have known I was the valedictorian.

6. My sister thought it was fun to hide my bra in the freezer and put plastic spiders in my bed.

7. I have very prominent veins. They seem to impress people.

8. I cannot castrate a dove. Probably that is true for most of humanity - but how many of you have tried? Repeatedly? (I can't ovariectomize a dove, either. But, I can surgically sex doves.)

9. I can draw blood from the wing vein of a dove ALL BY MYSELF.

10. I was an extra zombie in "Day of the Dead". So was Kevin. Only Kevin actually appears in the film, however. That's OK. I got a hat.

11. When people ask me how I like my job, I can honestly say, "It is better than prison." I wasn't a convict - I just worked in both men's and women's correctional facilities in Ohio.

12. When asked by an equine resident in vet school what I would be thinking if I looked into a horses mouth, preparing to "float" its teeth, and saw whatever it was she was showing our group, I responded with "Something has gone very, very very wrong with my life." I still feel that way. I try to say "no" to anything that can easily maim or kill me.

13. I spent a summer collecting radioactive horse pee. Enough said.

14. And, two years working with radioactive dove testicles; well, actually, just radioactive dove testosterone.

15. I learned today that my belly button is gone. I can lose anything!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

I'm setting myself up here....

A friend of mine just completed this exercise. It seemed rather interesting and since I'm off from work for a bit, I thought there was some infantestimally small chance I might complete it. Daily. Then, again. I do reserve the right to make some changes - at this moment I'm thinking the Day 15 Bible verse will become favorite poem, for example. As this is March first - if I start tomorrow, 30 days will complete the month.... there is no way I think I'll make it through. Lets see how far we get.

Day 1-Introduce, recent picture, 15 interesting facts
Day 2-Meaning behind your blog name
Day 3-Your first love
Day 4-Your parents
Day 5-Your favorite recipes
Day 6-A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7-Favorite movies
Day 8-A place you've traveled to
Day 9-A picture of your friends
Day 10-Something you're afraid of
Day 11-Favorite TV shows
Day 12-What you believe
Day 13-Goals
Day 14-A picture you love
Day 15-Bible verse
Day 16-Dream house
Day 17-Something you're looking forward to
Day 18-Something you regret
Day 19-Something you miss
Day 20-Nicknames
Day 21-Picture of yourself
Day 22-What's in your makeup bag
Day 23-Favorite vacation
Day 24-Something you've learned
Day 25-Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
Day 26-Picture of your family
Day 27-Pets
Day 28-Something that stresses you out
Day 29-3 Wishes
Day 30-a picture

A is for Apple

I am embarking on a major Zelda project. Usually at this time of year I am making a new Zelda calendar... and maybe I'll do that next. (I have my theme determined - a set of "Most Wanted" posters featuring the Z-girl.) This year, in honor of Zuperfliegen we're doing an alphabet book and maybe a counting book... though Zelda and I have only figured out how to count to 5.

A must be for Apple. Right?

However, Zelda finds this assignment to be very, very difficult because I do not want her to EAT the apple. As far as I know she's never eaten an apple before, but it took very little time to work out that apples are tasty and the mechanics of apple eating. (It is easiest if Ann will hold the apple for you.) So, I've taken 2 or 3 dozen apple photos and haven't got quite the one I like. Our problem is primarily with camera focus. There's just too much movement in an apple camera shoot.

Here are my top choices. (I feel like I have to move on or we won't finish in time.)

Please feel free to weigh in with your opinion.

B is for Bear, up next. I anticipate we'll have many of the same problems.

Seeking understanding - knowledge of Italian may be helpful

$Zelda- \"gulag girl\"$

This morning needing to find a photo online of my father to post with my most recent "Lost and Found" post, I went to my little visited photobucket account. Because I'm intrigued by such things, I looked at the stats for that account. As I often find, my photo of Zelda in quarantine was one of my most viewed photos. (In today's case, it was THE most viewed photo - with 156 views in the last week. The next most viewed - 6 views.) But, what's odd is that all these views were not generated by people trolling on photobucket or being referred by blogger, but they came from an Italian blog. This blog is covered with the "hammer and sickle", often bloody, symbol of communism as well as skulls, and Holocaust victims and the like. (Kevin helped me with Google Translate so I'm relieved to know this political page is at least anti-totalitarian rather than pro.)

But, why Zelda? I flipped through every page of the blog without seeing her sweet little face. At this time my only reasonable guess - because while she might learn Italian and how to type, she could never reach the keyboard- we're careful about keeping chairs pushed in around here - so the guess - it must have something to do with the title I'd given that photo: "Gulag Girl". (I've changed that now.)

Let it be known I meant no disrespect for any person who has been incarcerated, tortured, or killed. The photo was taken while she was "jailed" in quarantine in Sydney. She had shelter and food and was well cared for there. But, a concrete run is pretty bleak and does not match what I want for her, for dogs, for people - warmth and love and freedom with their family and friends. I hope the many people looking at her photo - however that is happening - recognize that she's a much loved pet and her sad face stirs something warm and loving deep within them.

Lost, Found, Lost...

This was actually the event that inspired my first Lost and Found post. Like so much else recently, that thought got lost - then found. I considered just amending the first post...but ultimately I've elected not to. (I know this comes as no surprise to you.)

Two weeks ago at our biweekly doctor's visit I was speaking with the receptionist and confirming that we would be attending class on Friday/Saturday and trying to tease out whether and what they'd be feeding me at 5 PM. (Nothing til after 6 - and then just nibblies. Huh? Who do they think they're working with?? Not impressed with the gap between theory and practice in Australian medical dietetics.) Anyway, the conversation went something like this....

"Oh, yes, Ann. I was trying to reach you yesterday. I called several times. I spoke with your father."

"What? Wait. I don't think so."

"Maybe there's another Ann," as she shuffled through her notes.

"My father's been dead for several years. I'd be really interested if you've been speaking with him."

Well, damn. There WAS another Ann and once again, I'd lost my father.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Lost, Found...

Recently, I've been finding lost things. Not everything I've lost, mind you. My waist is still missing and my feet - though I can tip over to see them and I can attest to their continued support - they're still mostly gone. But, I've found both my sunglasses - missing for a month or more in my desk drawer and, last night, Kevin found my reading glasses - missing for 2 or 3 novels - in HIS office. What sort of kinky things do you think he's getting up to at 1 AM??? Something that goes with purple-y frames, OBVIOUSLY.

Some things, I've learned you don't know are lost until they are found. That would be Monday's "finding" of my #2 algae eater - perfectly formed and perfectly dried and perfectly stuck to the kitchen floor. It is easy to miss these guys - but I never considered them lost - just lip sucking something deep and dark in the aquarium. But this... was it suicide? How, exactly, does a fish that seems to have minimal propulsive abilities but strong adhesive ones fling himself from an aquarium? That leaves the more probable explanation to be....murder. Have my sweet molly babies somehow found a way to fling a fish who was as big as their combined weights through the air, over the inward facing lip of the tank, and onto the floor? And, if not them, then the guilty party must be ME. I cleaned the tank thoroughly the day before pulling out a few plants and the filters. Perhaps, dear sucker was attached to something and plunged without my awareness to the ground? But, if this happened, why did it take me almost 24 hours to see him? And, why didn't Zelda, ahem, eat him before this??

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Rare Exports

I'm finally updating my movies, TV, books for 2011. Finally. And, this triggers me to share the above short film. While we enjoyed "Rare Exports", both Kevin and I preferred the short films that were made preceding it. Here's one. The second one... if you need help finding it let me know. I'm guessing it is on YouTube, also. So, while it is a little late for Christmas - after all even I have sent out my cards! - it is never too late or too early to have a really, really, really good time. Keeping in mind, of course, that Santa is watching and you really don't want to be naughty.

Comfort to the Enemy

"No, tell them I've been thinking about a mass escape," Jurgen said, "on the Fuhrer's birthday next April. Three-hundred and sixty thousand German prisoners of war, in all the camps in America, all walk out at the same time."

Otto waited, looking at Jurgen. "And do what?"

"Nothing," Jurgen said and moved his shoulders, rubbing his back against the wall. "Or they steal cars and drive around wherever they are, honking the horns."

"To what purpose?"

"You need a purpose? All right, first to show that we can do it," Jurgen said. "And second, to let them know we have a sense of humor. Americans don't think we do."

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Pegasus Descending

...If age brings either wisdom or answers to ancient questions, it has made an exception for me.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Rain, Water, Flooding...

Seems like any blog from Queensland Australia needs to make mention of rain.

We've had a lot.

Really. A lot.

Kevin and I have been very fortunate. Our home has stayed dry as did both of our work places. Our hearts go out to those who were less lucky.

The rain, rain, rain did result in some interesting new behavior in our backyard. In order to avoid the marsh that the ground has become, one of our local butcher birds has found a new perch from which to survey his world.

Year in Review....

Happy New Year (‘s eve, eve, eve)!

Hope this holiday/post holiday season finds you warm and safe and dry. Here, we’re warm and safe and anything but dry. It rains. And then, it rains some more. Then, again. From a quick look at the Qld weather map it looks like we’ve received somewhere between 16 and 24 inches of rain this month. More to come.

But, prior to December, we could almost be said to be adventurous folk!

First – A life-lesson: Eyelash glue will NOT hold bread on one’s face.

We have new passports. (Let me pause while that sinks in. It’s OK to be envious. Who could resist?) This is just the icing on the cake from our attaining Australian citizenship in July. (The cake would be the collectable plastic flags and the shrublings they gave us…which we haven’t killed yet.)

We made our first trip to New Zealand – flying into Wellington to visit friends and then borrowing their car for a counterclockwise expedition around the South Island. We had a great time. Our highlights: “climbing” Franz Josef Glacier and swimming with the seals in Kaikoura. We can teach you your first word in Kiwi…. “beer” - go ahead, say it. That’s an animal that lives in the woods and eats honey (though, not in NZ which is very deficient in mammals.)

We got our Chipotle fix by visiting the US – twice! Kevin scored an extra Chipotle run because this was the 20th Anniversary of his film “Night of the Living Bread” and, as such, the film and the man were featured guests at the Halloween Horror Movie Marathon in Columbus.

AND…. We have a “flash new car”… that is, if flash means 20 years old. It wasn’t exactly a planned purchase but something about totaling one’s current car makes buying a new car look like a good idea. It is a Toyota Corolla. Michael Jackson has been established in its trunk – though I’m thinking his value as a Good Luck Protective Demigod is over-rated. Still, he makes us smile.

Zelda worked hard to secure her title of Bad Ass Dog of the Year. In August she engaged in a bout of uncontrollable vomiting which eventually I determined was the result of a foreign body being lodged in her intestine. I just cannot believe it took her 13 years to accomplish this feat – she’s tried so hard. We removed a bluish green rubbery object which neither Kevin nor I had ever seen before. We don’t know where she found it, but she didn’t show it to us. (This is what can happen when you leave the internet on while you are at work!) Anyway, while she was sick she was an ideal patient – quiet and cooperative. No one could imagine why I kept insisting that Zelda is a very, very, very bad girl. Then, post surgery she felt better. The howling and screaming began. “I’m alone! Help!! Help!! I need a couch! I’m ALOOOONE!”. She chewed her IV line into THREE pieces and peed over everything. Then, BOOM! The clinic lights went out. I joked that even Zelda couldn’t do this – but she had. She chewed through the electrical cord on her heating pad and shorted out the clinic and wrecked both computers in the reception area. Now, our mail box is filled with come-ons addressed to Zelda from various terrorist organizations.

Our biggest news: Kevin and I are very pleased to inform you that we have decided to and have all but succeeded in adding a real human being to our family. If everything continues to go well – as well as it has gone up to this point – we’ll welcome a little boy to our – and your family in March/April. We appreciate the idea of the estimated arrival date of April 1, April Fool’s Day. We’ve been calling him Zuperfliegen Baadasssss – a Faux-German translation of “Super Fly” and Baadasssss from the 1971 movie “Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song”– all in salute to 1970’s Blaxploitation films. (Can you guess whose idea this was??) Zupe for short….And, now for what you expect.

Movies: We did better seeing films this year thanks to several “series” playing in the city: The closing of The Regent Cinema in downtown Brisbane. They featured one classic movie from each decade they operated (from the 20s to the present). And, the Gallery of Modern Art featured a series of New Zealand films during their New Zealand Unnerved exhibition. Flying internationally added to our consumption – though not necessarily of anything we’d recommend to others. Anyway, hands down “Toy Story 3” gets our nod for best film. We laughed. We cried. Second place probably belongs to “The Social Network”. Our favorite from NZ: “Once Were Warriors” – though lets say it isn’t “upbeat”. The sequel, “What Becomes of the Broken Hearted”, was also worth seeing. But, you really should do them in sequence. Lighter fare: “Scott Pilgrim Versus the World”, “Black Sheep” (NZ film with man-eating sheep!), “RED” (which I liked more than Kevin.)

Books: This year I read a lot of Zombie books. Really. They were a fun lot – though none as supremely pleasing as Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Zombies really spice up Jane Austen. If you can’t bring yourself to have that much fun, then I’ll recommend Let Me Sing You Gentle Songs by Linda Olsson. It was a beautiful novel of friendship between two lonely women – and nothing undead anywhere. (The US title is not as lovely: Astrid and Veronica.) One book I feel I need to caution you about: Ah-choo! by Jennifer Ackerman. My mother sent me this nonfiction account of research surrounding the common cold. It was interesting – but I was then sick with two consecutive colds for the next six weeks. I blame the book. I’m sure it is laced with various viruses. Now, I want to get it off my shelf – and, if truth be told, I want to give it to someone else to see if they get sick, too. Would that make me, how do you say it, evil?????

Music: We really outdid ourselves this year with missing good music. First, we missed Laurie Anderson’s “Music for Dogs” concert at the Sydney Opera House. Maybe if I’d learned about it further in advance it would have worked out for us – though I suspect even then we’d have left Zelda at home. Then, only recently, we missed the Double Feature of Blondie and The Pretenders. This time we had tickets! Front row tickets purchased 7 months in advance!! But, it was an outdoor concert scheduled for early December and … it was rained out. Instead, we’ve been basking in another NZ discovery: Kasey Kasem’s American Top 40 from the 70s and 80s is still being broadcast. We’ve been enjoying this – so much I get up at 6 AM on Sundays.

Last but most, Television: Since we now only watch pre-recorded television we have the pleasure of watching only what we want to see (no channel surfing – which means we’ll never stumble upon “Dude, Where’s My Car?” – a loss we’ll never have the opportunity to recognize) and we avoid all the commercial breaks. So, we’ve seen some things that pleased us immensely. Comedy: “The Big Bang Theory”, “Modern Family”, and the show we’re most consistently impressed with: “Community”. Drama: Wow! Wow! Wow! We watched all three seasons of “Breaking Bad”. I don’t know how we’ve managed to sleep since waiting to resolve the cliffhanger which won’t be aired until JULY!!! We slogged through the first 2 seasons of “Mad Men” wondering how it was that it would beat “Breaking Bad” for Emmy Awards: Glacially paced with enigmatic dialog, all style and no substance. Then, we watched season 3 and, then, season 4 and we’re converts (though we still prefer cooking methamphetamine to writing advertising.) Also rans: “Men of a Certain Age”, “Fringe”, and “Big Love” – though the latter did some serious shark jumping.

Just can’t get over that baby thing? You’re right. We’re likely over our heads. We’ve got NO IDEA how to avoid the dingo threat. I’m just hoping it’s kind of like a Land Shark attack.

Excuse me. Someone is at the door.

“Candygram.”

Roma Street - January 2011

Boxing Day Tradition Continues

Last year we announced our first annual "Boxing Day Rebellion" which consisted of spending the day at the Gallery of Modern Art. (The title made more sense last year as the show was composed of Asian artists. The tradition actually is older than that - we spent Boxing Day seeing the Andy Warhol exhibit 3 years ago - but we didn't have the great TITLE then. Now we (Boxing Day) rebel with modern art.)

The new exhibition features art from the first decade of the 21st century - that would mean the last 10 years. Some of the pieces we'd seen before in the collection. Others, of course, were new to us. Our favorite were the interactive pieces - an infinity room with black-light glowing balls (we'd seen this - and decided to not wait in line again),

twin slides twisting down from the second floor (only one of us as able to slide - guess who),

a giant table filled with (white) Lego's for building the city of the 21st century,

a fabulous swimming pool illusion where you can stand (dryly) at the bottom of the pool or look down at others doing so, and

what would without a doubt be Zelda's favorite room - a room filled to about 4 feet with big purple balloons.

(Damn. How can I get her in there? The excitement would probably kill her... so maybe it isn't what I want to do for her birthday though Kevin and I have talked about which of our rooms we could do this in. Should we find the wind power, you'll be invited. But, hey, maybe YOU could blow up a few, too....)

Because I didn't see you there, and the museum is closed due to flooding, here are a few of the others we enjoyed.

Giant sculpture made from what we lovingly call "poop bags". (These are empty; though on the opposite wall is a "painting" which includes elephant dung.)

Good to see the massive swarm of silver balls, again. Though, I like them better when they are floating in a pool.

I love drive-in movies - There was an old drive-in screen decaying outside of Urbana when I lived there. I took a few photos, but never ended up with anything that really, really, really pleased me. If I dig around, I don't think I'll find it here. I'm pretty sure I shot it on slide film. (Remember that? sigh.)

Now, this room is REALLY cool. The coat hangers are hanging from a grid of wires near the ceiling. When the wires are stimulated by movement of the birds (which, by the way, despite the signage ARE NOT all zebra finches) they transfer that energy into a tone. We were not overly impressed by the "music" produced... but neither was that docent sitting in the corner impressed by me taking a photograph in a room in which NO PHOTOGRAPHY was allowed. Oops. Obviously, I didn't know, since the one and only photo I took was aimed directly at her!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

This is serious. This is Christmas in Brisbane.

I know. Christmas was so last year. But, maybe you've noticed that I've been on a break for the past many months and now I'm trying to make a comeback, however brief or lame it may come (back) to be. Christmas seems like as good a place to start as any - since here in Aus there is no holiday between the EKKA (state fair) and Dec 25. We do score Dec 26, though -that counts for something. This year it counted for a 4 day holiday weekend. I needed that. I had been sick and exhausted for about all of November and December. (I blame my mother - but that's another story. Maybe someday around next July I'll take time to tell it.)

I don't do Christmas well in Australia. It just isn't right for Christmas to be a summer holiday. There's nothing merry feeling about sweat. Of course, this year there was not so much sweat as rain. Rain. Rain. Rain. Rain. I'm sure you've heard. It's been wet.

We thought we'd try to jump into the holiday spirit by once again taking the "Holiday Lights Tour". This time, however, we thought we'd check out the lights on our side of town. I'm not sure if the rain dampened everyone's holiday effort or only those on the north side of Brisbane - but we were really disappointed. Our tour primarily featured decorated Churches... at least four...about the same number of houses that we saw. And, with few (and NOTABLE) exceptions it seems that the churches all buy their light up decorations (nativities (of course), "merry" kangaroos, emus, koalas, etc.) from the same catalogs. But, really, the exceptions should be shared.

The Baptist church's exhibit was, as far as I could remember, exactly the same as it has been. They still win the award for "most light-up sheep".

The Catholic church altered their giant light tree to make it a giant angel. Well done.

Church #4 gets my award for oddest Christmas animal light. There, in front of the holiday dingo.... a snake. I guess we're letting bygones be bygones with reference to that apple snafu.

But, the oddest display of the season goes to church group number 3 - and I'm so sorry I can't tell you who they are. Maybe Kevin will remember... Just before the "Rain forest Walk" - you know, the walk through the bamboo trail to spot all the illuminated Buddhas - is this gazebo. Please excuse the poor focus - I have better photographs of the component parts... you just need to get some idea of the "whole".

Obviously, on the fence you've got a pair of matching dancing skeletons

with giant spiders on the roof and corners.

What you can't see well - the tombstones inscribed with "Trick or Treat" and the "host" of the gazebo - standing in the center...

Dracula. I am not kidding you. This is serious. This is Christmas in Brisbane.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

"Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk"

My former mate had been dead for all of three days when my mother set me up with the daughter of one of her neighbors. We met at dawn, in a big oak overlooking a pasture. Below us on the grass, a white calf took her mother's teat in her mouth, and my date shouted, "Faggot!"

"I think the word you're looking for is 'lesbian,'" I said. "though even that wouldn't make sense. What they're doing isn't sexual -- it's called nursing. It's the way mammals feed their young."

She said, "Yeah, faggot mammals."

-from "The Greiving Owl"

Breathless

"What has hands like theirs?"

"We do."

"Besides us."

"Nothing."

"There must be something."

"Yeah. There's them."

Friday, January 21, 2011

The Last Days of Ptolemy Grey

“But what if,” the child asked, “what if you ain’t sure that he mean you harm?”

“It’s you that mean to harm him,” Coy said, pointing his thumb and forefinger like a pistol. “Life ain’t fair. Life ain’t right. Life ain’t no good or bad. What it is is you, boy. You makin’ up your mind and takin’ your own path. …”

No One Sees You Like Your Dog Does

Zelda begs to differ.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Around our driveway

From Singles 2010

I know what you’re looking for. What is happening out in front of #51??

Last night – death and destruction. We returned home from our evening walk to find our blue tongue friend* headless and mostly innardless, smushed flat on our drive. I, of course, first thing looked to see if my tires most closely aligned with this hit-and-run scene. Ah, no. Then, I remembered that I took the company truck to the clinic today and Kevin pulled our car in behind us. Could have been me.

We gave him a moment of silence then, being garbage night, Kevin hefted his remains into the nearby bin. It was not a difficult scrape – AND when we walked down the driveway on our walk we hadn’t noticed the grisly scene – makes me wonder whether he’d been killed elsewhere and the skin dropped on our drive by those murderous crows.

This morning –confusion. Kevin, leaving before me, standing in the doorway says, “They’re working on the road.”

Ann: “What?”

Kevin: “They’re working on the road. There’s a man with uh-uh-uhs.”

Ann: “There’s a man with elephants????” pushing past to look out.

Kevin: “There’s a man with a YELLOW FENCE.”

Ann: “Elephants are way cooler.”

*By the way, this is what he looked like when he had a head and a third dimension.

Sunday, January 09, 2011

"Dexter is Delicious"