Little Orley and the Haunted House

	Lumpy Brannum - Little Orley and the Haunted House .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

I've been singing a lot of songs I haven't sung for a long, long time lately. Current favorites - "I Love Trash", "Puff the Magic Dragon", and "What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor?" I also tried to recite this poem - but get lost when Orley finds the Haunted House.

In case YOU don't know the story, have a listen. It will give you a new appreciation for discarded instruments and Mr. GreenJeans.

Define: Xenogenic

From Zuperfliegen

Xenogenic \zen-uh-JEN-ik\, adjective:

1. To be completely different from either parent, or from the source of an object's creation.
2. In biology, originating outside the organism or from a foreign substance introduced into the organism.
3. Zuperfliegen Baadasssss

Meanwhile, on Channel Zupe....

July 13 - Anniversary of the Big Defrosting!
This is the day, just one year ago, that we picked up Zuperfliegen from the Baby Freezer Section. He was actually...

The wait
We were assigned two wait dates as we were leaving...

Remembering the belly
An inventory of what I miss and what I don't miss about...

Just in case you are interested. All you need to do is to click on the colored type (aka the link!). Should be painless.

50 Reasons I Love You #11

From Art in the 21st Century

You are good at analyzing art and stories.

Spring is coming!

From Singles 2011

I noticed last week - the jasmine is in bud.

Ships Ahoy!! Fabulous Birthday Gift from Christine!!

From Singles 2011

My friend Christine sent me a fabulous new wind chime for my birthday. (It was on time, unlike this post which is woefully late.) Rather than tell you the story of the chimes, I thought I'd just post the email conversation about it.

Christine: Oh, and the chimes. I got the little ship from World Market (I think). I got it a while ago and always meant to send it to you with a pirate on it but never got around to making it. And when you had Zup I figured "Hey! Why not a family of pirates?" So that's how that came to be. I hope it made it around the world ok. I was worried, it would get broken. Did you see Zelda? I thought she definitely had to go on board with you - since she is so good with the baby. What a trooper - and that at her age!

From Singles 2011

Ann: Oh, I am laughing!!!!!

When I opened the package there was a pirate caught in the chimes line and I THOUGHT it was supposed to be that way - that he had been made to walk the plank! Then, I found a second pirate loose in the peanuts ...and last night when I was showing Kevin I saw that the first pirate was only tangled and there was glue for BOTH their feet in the boat.

From Singles 2011

Now, I get your message and I know to look for more pirates. I love the baby! He looks a bit like a pulled canine tooth!! but, I spilled out all the peanuts - found a third pirate - but no Zelda.

I went through it all very carefully... no. THEN, I looked over at the boat - she was the only one who stayed on board. I guess she made them ALL walk the plank! I'll pull out my glue and reinstate order on board later. I really love it. It is especially cool since you pirated it up for us!

From Singles 2011

Christine: O boy. So that means that they didn't make it, did they? I am just glad that you are a doctor and can help them. Poor guys. Zup should be almost as big as you are but he doesn't have a head covering. (I was looking into the future.) You should have a big pirate with hat, a somewhat shorter pirate with a red bandanna and a little blond guy. And Zelda of course. O there should also be a flag on the uppermost sail.

From Singles 2011

Ann: That isn't a baby. It is an ARM that came off Kevin!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From Singles 2011

50 Reasons I Love You #2

From Singles 2012

You smile a lot (and your smile is beautiful and friendly).

Zupe is spinning off

From Zuperfliegen

It had to happen. He was the most exciting member of the cast here. Of course the network would give him his own show. He promises to come around for guest appearances. Still, insiders suspect those appearances will only be pale imitations of what he does with his own site.

Oh well. It is just a wonder it didn't happen years ago with Zelda.

See Zuperfliegen Baadassss on his own blog site: http://channelzupe.blogspot.com/ Or click HERE.

More thoughts about Rabies

Perhaps the authors of the poster have been over-influenced by American media. Australians typically believe we all have guns and there is rampant violence EVERYWHERE. These folks may have been unduly influenced by "Old Yeller" and "Cujo".

Or, it could have been produced by a company that manufactures vaccines.

I am willing to share my rabies safety tips to anyone traveling to the US who wishes to avoid the 3 vaccine series. Do not approach wildlife - especially any that seem "friendly" or very, very "unfriendly".

And, you best not share needles or have sex with them either.

There. That should do it.

What I read on the back door of the bathroom today

From Zuperfliegen

First of all, I should let you know I did not read this at home. We don't have anything posted on our bathroom door - front or back side. Not very creative people, I guess.

Rather, I read this at the doctor's office. It was a poster listing what I assumed was every conceivable country to which one might wish to travel along with a list of vaccines that would be recommended prior to visiting. Because I was there with Zupe and I couldn't fit him (and his stroller) IN the bathroom, I left the door cracked open so I could see who would steal a baby on oxygen. After all, I'm legally responsible for that oxygen canister. Therefore, I didn't read EVERY country's recommendations - only the USA.

And what, pray tell, do those in the know recommend??

Hepatitis B - a viral disease that causes... wait for it.... hepatitis.

From Wikipedia:

Originally known as "serum hepatitis",[1] the disease has caused epidemics in parts of Asia and Africa, and it is endemic in China.[2] About a quarter of the world's population, more than 2 billion people, have been infected with the hepatitis B virus.[3] This includes 350 million chronic carriers of the virus.[4] Transmission of hepatitis B virus results from exposure to infectious blood or body fluids such as semen and vaginal fluids, while viral DNA has been detected in the saliva, tears, and urine of chronic carriers with high titer DNA in serum. Perinatal infection is a major route of infection in endemic (mainly developing) countries.[5] Other risk factors for developing HBV infection include working in a health care setting, transfusions, and dialysis, acupuncture, tattooing, extended overseas travel and residence in an institution. [6] [3][7] However, Hepatitis B viruses cannot be spread by casual contact, such as holding hands, sharing eating utensils or drinking glasses, breast-feeding, kissing, hugging, coughing, or sneezing.[8]

So, lets consider what this is saying. Visitors to the United States need to protect themselves from Hep B because they are likely to be into forced contact with bodily fluids from US carriers - either due to sexual contact, wiping tears, attending a special tourist transfusion or dialysis park, or possibly from all the dirty used needles we have lying about. (Thank God hugging is ruled out as a means of transmission! Whew!)

Oh, and there's a second vaccine that's recommended.

Rabies.

Or, rather, RABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It all makes the US sound absurdly dangerous! Now, truth be told, I HAVE BEEN vaccinated for rabies - but how many people in the US are actually exposed to rabies each year? And, what proportion of them are just visiting the country?? And, what sort of tour do you have to book to risk that exposure? Does it cost extra? or is it more of the "no frills" sort of expedition?

Happy Mary Poppins Week

Yes, you're right - I'm late by a week. Still, it needed to be recognized.

We discussed making the trek up to Maryborough for the festivities. (Maryborough Qld is the home of the author of the Mary Poppins books. They have a festival each year to honor her.) But, a 2.5 hour drive with an infant (on oxygen) didn't sound like it would be quite the fun time we were looking for. Maybe next year. Or, the next. Sometime, however. It is on my "list"!

For those of you who are intrigued and are wondering "Maybe I need to put this on my list of things to do before I.... move from Queensland" click here for the website. click here for the website

50 Reasons I Love You #12

From Singles 2011

You enjoy going to the GoMA.

50 Reasons I Love You #32

From photo a day

You are willing to play games.

50 Reasons I Love You #40

From collage

You are creative and like artistic expression.

50 Reasons I Love You #15

From Singles 2011

You brought Zelda into my life.

More on names

From Zuperfliegen

James- from the Hebrew: "the supplanter"
+
Steven- Greek: "crowned one"
+
Victor- Latin: "conqueror"
=
"Zuperfliegen Baadasssss"

I hope we are up to this! (Kevin = composed of the Old Irish elements cóem "kind, gentle, handsome" and gein "birth"; Ann = "He (God) has favored me". Not exactly high on the badass scale.)

Happy July 4th

From Singles 2011

My most excellent friend, Nan, is having a big July 4th bash in Cleveland...featuring hot dogs and poems about Yarrow. How I wish I could attend! My order from USA foods did not come yesterday, alas, so there will be no Bush's baked beans or sloppy joes for Monday...unless the order comes early Monday morning. (Please!) I may just try making an apple pie. Yes. Just maybe.

In the meantime...here's my contribution to the Yarrow Poetry Slam.

From July travel - mostly OHIO

Yarrow is a Flower

Yarrow is a flower.
It looks like Queen Anne’s Lace.
It has no eyes.
It has no lips.
In fact it has no face.

Yarrow is a flower.
It looks like Queen Anne’s Lace.
It has no feet.
It buys no shoes.
It will not win the race.

Yarrow is a flower.
It grows in fields and yards.
It has no hands.
It wears no gloves.
It does not win at cards.

(OK – here is where we get patriotic.)
Yarrow is a flower.
With shovel and with rake.
Revere he rode
To tell the Brits
Our guns you cannot take.

Yarrow is a flower.
I’ve a baby at my breast.
I can’t be there.
I send regards.
I wish you all the best!

With apologies to Yarrow - I only have a photo of Queen Anne's Lace!

The Ten Thousand Names of Zupe

From Zuperfliegen

Those of you who are here following a link from Kevin's blog will know something about our well-named son. We haven't added any more names. Promise.

For the uninformed... Zupe had multiple names prior to even knowing he was a boy - even prior to his conception...and that occurred years ago. We chose his name way back in Cleveland while driving across town one day.

James - is the name of both of our fathers - though
1. I assure you they were different men and
2. Neither was ever called James but went by his middle name (Dennis or Dan)
In addition, there is a tradition in Kevin's family of naming the first son of the first son James. Kevin's not the first son, but Zupe is the first grandson.

Steven - at the time virtually every close friend of Kevin was named Steve. (If the discussion had occurred later in our Cleveland era, he might have been Michael. Everyone we knew in Cleveland was named Michael such that we gave them all nicknames - "Officer Mike", "Nederlander Mike", etc. No, not really. Steve is too important to Kevin. No Mike could take his place.)

And, that was the entirety of his name. But, that was years ago- when given time enough, we get creative.

So, to "Zuperfliegen Baadasssss". (Haven't I dissected this for you?) Zuperfliegen is Kevin's creation - faux-German for "Superfly". Baadasssss is a direct steal from the 1971 film "Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song". In all, an homage to blaxsploitation films. It is also a salute to a longstanding joke of ours - "the silent Q".

Despite his great love of Steve, Kevin would have put Zuperfliegen on the birth certificate. I'm afraid I am the killjoy here. But, really, it is such a mouthful and any kid of ours is likely to be a bit off step with his "contemporaries". They really don't need the additional ammunition of the Zuperfliegen, let alone Baadassss, name(s). One of Kevin's Pittsburgh friends suggested "Zupe" as a nickname. I love Zupe. Zupe is too cool. Zupe is pretty much certificate worthy - but don't tell Kevin.

And, the nicknames proliferate. (Much fun for me - a person who never had a nickname, but always wanted one.) Zupester, Zupemeister, Zupenstein, Zupertastic, Z-BOB, Zed-man. Let me know if I've forgotten one of your favorites.

In the end as the big April Fools Day of Expectation approached I felt there was only one thing left to do.

I added another name.

This one did get on the birth certicate.

Victor.

Yes. I named him for my favorite dog. No one was more affectionate or honorable or loved.

Until now.

First night at home

From Singles 2011

For the record, this is the second time I've written this post. For the first time in the several years I've been using Blogger, something inadvertent and unfortunate happened and despite the auto-save feature, when my post failed to publish, it also had failed to save.

And, it was, of course, really great.

Well, we brought Zupe home on his 3 week birthday - on a Friday - on a Friday before a holiday (3 day) weekend. We were, at 4 PM suddenly home, alone, and solely responsible for this baby. Everything felt new and scary despite having done the basic care behaviors before...especially feeding the baby.

In the hospital we were given bottles of premixed formula to feed him. We couldn't find this formula in any of the stores. We were "stuck" with dry formula mix...fortunately the same brand he'd been eating. (No one in the hospital suggested that sticking with the same formula was important or even useful...but I know how upset dog stomachs get from abrupt diet changes - and what is a baby, but a hairless dog?)

So, this is what I knew. It is very important to get the proportion of dry mix to water exactly right. Very bad things can happen with a solution that is too rich or too thin. And, I knew what was written on the can. (See below.)

From Singles 2011

Pretty straight forward, right. You just pour cooled boiled water into the bottle, then pour a little out, then a little more out, then add in just a smidgen of water. Then using the nifty attached "leveler" you add mix at the rate of 1 per 50 ml of water.

But, the leveler. It was obviously attached to the little scoop. How was that to work??? And, if you can see on the photo, there seems to be a "fill line" on the scoop about 1/2 an inch below the top. So, how does one level off at that point with a leveler that is firmly attached to the scoop????? I could cut off the leveler - but then it would be pretty messy scooping into the mix gripping the little "bucket" with my fingers.

All of these anxiety driven thoughts cascaded, of course, at the 2 AM feeding.

Fortunately, there is a toll-free number on the container.

Unfortunately, it is not manned 24 hours a day, seven days a week. They did, however, provide an emergency contact number - a cell phone. (In Australia all cell phones (aka mo-bile (as in gall bladder bile) phones) have the same "area code" - 04.) So, do I call the 04 number and wake the poor schmuck who had to take the phone home for the weekend??

Of course I didn't do that. Instead, I found a 24 hour call-a-nurse health line and asked them.

Seems you fill the cup all the way to the top.

I didn't mess around with the built in leveler. I just pulled a butter knife out of the drawer like I would if I were measuring ingredients to make cookies. No need for fancy-schmancy levelers.

And, we all lived.

Now Kevin and I are old pros. I still don't understand why the scoop has holes in the bottom, but I don't freak out about absolute measuring perfection. So far, Zuperfliegen survives.

And, funny thing. A few days into our new role as living-at-home-family I considered the funny shaped lip on the top of the formula canister. One can scrape the scoop across that lip... and level off the powder. Built-in. Leveler.

Really. Those folks in the formula packaging division need to be informed before any more poor souls cut the scoop off the handle.

Zupe's first video

This morning while enjoying his bottle Zupe, for the first time ever, noticed the computer screen. He's had lots of opportunities - 3 seasons of "Breaking Bad", weekly episodes of "Game of Thrones" and "The Killing". Even videos on youtube from "Sesame Street". Nothing caught his eye....until now.

What does it mean? Have my not so subtle hints ("dancer not football player") found their mark in an early appreciation for Bob Fosse? Or, is he just drawn to leggy, busty, "easy" women?

Time will tell.

"So, let me get right to the point..."

Winter solstice

From Jun 20, 2011

Seems like time to put away the (largely unworn) summer clothes and take the winter ones out of storage.

This is probably* the hardest time of year for me. The days have grown quite short and the nights are sincerely cool. These changes prompt in me a quickening of my heart as I begin to count the days til Christmas.

But, alas. It is June.

And, so I am mourning the loss of my internally expected Christmas and the fact I'm missing another "summer".

It is all very illogical. Yet, I am unsettled.

*Note: In December I'll tell you that is my hardest time as Christmas comes but without the season or my family.

The horror of babies...

I'm convinced that much of the genre of horror was created by observing and experiencing babies - both before and after birth. This is not to say that I don't love Zuperfliegen - and I wish you'd stop telling him that - you'll give him a complex. Still, as wondrous and remarkable as the experience is, there are elements that are very, very creepy.

Take the images revealed by ultrasound. I'd like to meet the person in whom the following creates feelings of love or attraction.

From self portraits

Our first ultrasound (6 weeks). He's only a few centimeters long ("the size of a lentil") and per my memory of biology class he's got gills (or maybe he used to have gills...).

From Singles 2011

And, so, in my mind he's really pretty much a "sea monkey" and I expected I might see him pushing a little sea monkey vacuum like the pictures on the sea monkey ads in the back of Mad Magazine when I was a kid. No vacuum. No cute little apron. This one isn't particularly scary but it does bring home thoughts of possession. There's something alive inside...quiet but lurking. (And the gills, think "Creature from the Black Lagoon".)

From Singles 2011

From Zuperfliegen

Ultrasound 2 (12 weeks) This is where things start getting creepy. Check out those big hollow, scary eyes. Certainly this visage inspired the big-eyed aliens of the "I've been abducted, lost time, and have a chip in my neck" variety.

From Singles 2011

(Unless, of course, they are real.)

Then, a couple of months later...he starts to move. Move and get much, much bigger. Move in such a way that I'd jump, startled, and hold my breath waiting for my abdomen to erupt. You saw "Alien", right?
And, "Loaf"? (You'll have to ask Kevin if you want to see this one.)

From Zuperfliegen

His last ultrasound photos show only disembodied limbs. This is what I'm waiting to bring into our lives? (Though on a more positive note, by the end even though we were both huge, he moved frequently enough that I no longer screamed out loud.)

From art plus

Birth. Obviously horrific. Zupe was zombie personified.

After birth he's still a horror. From the kitchen while he's "sleeping", I hear under-the-breath-murmurs, quiet grave statements which could easily have been lifted from Linda Blair in "The Exorcist".

From Ohio Spring!

And, then there's feeding: ravenous, gape-mouthed, attacking in a purposeful, driven though uncoordinated frenzy.

Best Birthday, Ever!

From Singles 2011

For my big day Kevin shared his Dominion winnings and took Zupe and me out to dinner at Sizzler Steak House. We had a great time - including Zupe who found it a fine place to snooze. After dinner Kevin gave me my very heavy present.

Fifty Cocolo Dark Chocolate Mint bars - each stuffed with one reason why he loves me. (I cried.)

Since time has not yet been re-established here, I've already opened 4 bars:

#1. You were born! (And thus Love entered the world (again) and eventually Wonder entered my life.) Happy 50th Birthday!

#32. You are willing to play games.

#7. You love me back.

#15. You brought Zelda into my life (or something to that effect - I can't find the slip.)


(Note- #1 may not be exactly right. Zelda chewed up the note and I've tried to piece it back together. She loves me, too.)

Australian Baby Names

We saw this book recently at a "Baby Market" - like a giant flea market of baby and children's items - not including rocking chairs... Anyway, since we'd already named Zupe, and some would say and have said we'd overnamed him, we didn't need this book. Though we were very, very curious.

According to the Internet description - it includes 5,000 entries listed clearly in alphabetical order.

How many ways ARE THERE for listing Bruce five thousand times???

NPR Blanket Project: Is this why we are denied??

From September 2014

The 'Beginnings' Series: Upload And Submit Your Baby Blanket Photos


June 27, 2011 For our series Beginnings, we're working on a story about a blanket many of you will be familiar with. It's a white flannel blanket, with pink and blue stripes. It's the standard receiving blanket in many hospitals across the country.

As part of our project, we're collecting photos – like the one here – of babies swaddled in this specific blanket.

While you might think we'd have figured this out before, we only recently discovered that Zupe, being something other than a "blood relative" is not automatically eligible for US citizenship.  Seems you've either got to share some blood or be swaddled at birth in one of those American blankets.

Damn those polka dots!

Preparing for the paparazzi

From Zuperfliegen

or maybe just practicing concealing his identity in case "the man" comes looking.

Irony: the greatest force in the universe

From Zuperfliegen

Kevin tells me this ALL THE TIME.

Case in point.

For YEARS I have been confessing to Kevin that I'd really be interested in, let's see, this is awkward here - though surprisingly easy to say to Kevin - OK....interested in seeing an abdominal exploratory surgery on him. He's not shaped like a dog. At all. Or, a cat.

Then, WHO is it that is getting their abdomen incised? and WHO will be in the "audience"???

CRAP.

I thought FOR SURE there would be a big mirror hung in surgery so that I could watch Zupe being pulled from my abdomen. If you've got to have a C-section, that seemed like the least they could do! And, I must confess (again) that I'd been imagining where I'd make that incision as I watched my ever expanding abdomen...

BUT

no mirror.

And, no audience. Kevin had to sit behind the "curtain" with me (or at least the seeing part of me) until it was all over. The camera got passed to the anaesthetist's assistant....who did get some good shots. The best, little baby zombie Zupe, we've not put on line for fear of inducing panic in the general population...but if you're very, very brave...

What I need to remember

From Zuperfliegen

Don't leave the scissors in the baby's cage...no bed

While affectionate, it is probably best to stop calling Zupe "Puppy" and "Princess". Oh, and maybe no more "You're a good dog".

It is a crib or cot or bassinet or bed... not a cage. (Must repeat this.)

...."is harder with a baby on oxygen"

Australia has a very, very good community health program - at least for new babies and their mothers. The great staff at the Mater's Mother's Hospital set me up with them when they discharged Zupe and a nurse came by for a home visit about 2 weeks after we got home. She gave Zupe a physical: weighed and measured him. Then, she set us up with an infant feeding day long session and a weekly mother's group.

Well, she didn't immediately set us up with the latter. In fact, she wasn't sure "which group" would be best for us because "babies with oxygen tend to monopolize the conversation".

Now, that probably doesn't strike you as funny since you are convinced I DO monopolize our conversations. This, however, is all your doing. You COULD press that comment button and have your say. I'd be thrilled, in fact, to know I wasn't talking to myself. I do that all day long - usually in my head, but recently more times out loud telling myself I am "talking to Zupe." In reality I have NEVER been accused of monopolizing any conversation. I'm much more likely to be criticized for failing to participate in said conversation.

Still, it did provide a chuckle to Kevin and me. And, it was Kevin who noted that I could just end any sentence with "...harder with a baby on oxygen." He thinks it is almost as amusing as ending fortune cookie fortunes with "in bed".

So, I've been - let me start again - WE'VE been to two meetings. I DID mention my son was on oxygen - twice: first when I introduced him (I thought that people might be interested/concerned/curious as to why we carry an oxygen cylinder and decorate his cheeks with tape.) and secondly when we were asked to comment on how the experience of giving birth/being a mother differed from our expectations. (In hindsight I could have said more: I didn't expect to need an induction. (I did expect to go beyond 40 weeks...) I didn't expect that after the induction I would need a c-section. I didn't expect my son would hardly eat for almost 5 days, would sleep almost all the time, would spend 3 weeks in the hospital, would need 24 hour oxygen support...) Given the nurse's comment I may have been less willing to discuss the oxygen, in fact.

One of the major concerns with mother's is settling their crying baby. Why does she cry? Why won't he stop? Help!! I made the very foolish (in retrospect) statement that Zupe is very easy. He doesn't cry except when he's hungry. He eats and then he goes to sleep. On his own. No fuss. Just put him in his bed and he "self settles."
Foolish because we've yet to spend an entire visit there (about 2 hours) without him screaming for AT LEAST 45 minutes of that time. I hold him. I talk with him. I bounce him. I put him in his stroller. I pick him up.... The scream continues. He isn't hungry. He JUST ATE minutes ago. I think he's picked up his dad's respect for irony (the strongest force in the universe.)

Damn them both.

What was that all about?

That last post - about "Versailles". You may remember in 2009 I found a short film had been set in Versailles, Ohio. (Comedy, of course.) We never did find it on line to watch - The web site (mydamnchannel.com) has chopped the film into 6 - maybe it was 8 - installments. They've been publicizing it on Facebook, among other places, and I became its "friend". The question the post began with was posed by the "Versailles" page - and I tried to respond there - but Facebook thought I was too wordy, I guess. Anyway, they deleted initially part and then all of my post. So, because I was so pleased with myself I posted it here. (Well, there. Down below this post....)

In the time that has past since I wrote my response I have figured out that it doesn't really matter. No one is going to create Evelyn's back story. I am not going to become a Versailles legend. (Well, at least not for this.)

But, it is all good. The story had to be told somewhere

50 Reasons I Love You #7

From Mt Kosciusko

You love me back.

Versailles!

From Christmas lights 2009

So... we have this theory: Evelyn Anders is a miserable lady because she was never named Miss Chick at Poultry Days. What do you think?

In a high school class of 119, there is no great honor in winning Homecoming Queen. Who was she competing with? Evelyn Anders needed a win from a larger pool. Miss Chick? Everyone would say she had the hometown advantage. She cast her view more widely.

She flat-out refused to consider even entering the queen pageant for the Eaton Pork Festival. Miss Piggy? Queen Sow? Similarly, she ruled out Bradford’s Pumpkin Show- too easy for the comments to turn ghastly.

Annie Oakley Days. Only at the last minute did Evelyn understand that SHOOTING was part of a winning package… and that didn’t include shooting the team that was setting up the next target. Eliminated.

Minster’s Oktoberfest. Her place in the finalist group was snatched away thanks to some unspeakable accident involving massive quantities of beer.

Nearing the end of senior year came the big county-wide senior dance at Rossburg Chevrolet: The Rossburg-a-go-go. Certain she would win, Evelyn was crushed when a ballot box stuffing scandal (her words, not mine) awarded the price to the bitch (her words, not mine)from Russia. No prize. No tiara. No Chevette.

So, Evelyn deigned to enter the Miss Chick Contest. Designed her poultry themed dress. Practiced her wave. Arranged with her uncle, the squirrelly one, to borrow his convertible. And………

Maybe she won. (Still it was a year with a lot of hate and the win a cheap, no pun intended, hometown honor. Everyone said that!)

Then, again, maybe her crown was pulled at the last minute when it was revealed that she was far too closely related to the very vociferous group of radical vegans who were at the time of the crowing, defacing the world’s largest omelet.

**

50 Reasons I Love You #1

You were born! (And thus Love entered the world (again) and, eventually, my life.) Happy 50th Birthday!

The Size of Babies.

From Zuperfliegen

While describing a photo of Zuperfliegen, my friend Christine recently made a comment that I've heard before...something to the effect that she'd forgotten how small newborns are. I suppose in 6 months or 2 years or a decade, I might feel the same way. Right now I'm struck by how BIG he is. All of THAT was inside ME?

I found this statistic on the adhesive protector from a sanitary napkin: "When a woman is pregnant, her uterus expands to 500 times its normal size." (See photo from March 30 - you'll be convinced.)

And, while Zupe at birth weighed only about 6% of my weight, he was over 34% as tall as I am! Of course, that 54 centimeters wasn't stretched out in my abdomen, but curled up in what is so appropriately called The Fetal Position. In the photo above Zupe is a bit more than 1 week old. He's actually lighter than he was at birth - so this is mini-Zupe.

I knew that and I knew he was head down for the last 4 to 6 weeks. But, it wasn't until he was born and I was looking at his body that I understood that the "foot" I was always shifting off my midline was more likely a knee. I never even considered that I was being "elbowed" by elbows and knees. I was only thinking about hands and feet (while still puzzling over why his feet would be so low - just under my umbilicus. Perhaps I spend too much time looking at and thinking about dog feet?)

OMG - this is so funny - I just looked at that photo and thought, wow! he was so little. That didn't take long!

Zuperfliegen: Held Hostage

From Zuperfliegen

Let's see. This post should be dated April 15 - Happy 1 week old, Zupe!

We were supposed to be discharged from the hospital on Day 5 - April 13. My obstetrician came by and signed me out and then Zupe's pediatrician came in and did the same. The midwife staff, like Kevin and me, was concerned that there was something not right about Zupe. We discussed the possibility of getting a second opinion.

About that time the ped came back in to recheck Zupe. He wasn't so happy "about his color". He did a second physical exam and ordered some tests: a CBC, pulse oxymetry (measuring oxygen saturation of his blood), and blood gas analysis (oxygen, carbon dioxide, pH...). I watched the saturation values on the screen. His average was in the mid to low 90's. I wouldn't have been happy with those values if he'd been my patient - but I only measure saturation routinely during surgery when my patient is inhaling 100% O2 (well, except for the bit that is isoflurane). The nurse wasn't overly concerned. The ped. wasn't either. Nor was he bothered about the lower than normal O2 and higher than normal CO2 on the blood gas - but he did call in for a Respiratory Consult. (That is Resp- ear- a - tory with the accent on EAR.)

Those doctors were concerned and requested that Zupe spend the night in the Special Care Nursery getting an overnight saturation study that would be analyzed in the morning. And, so, we spend an extra night.

Then, Zupe spends an extra 15 nights.

He had a chest xray, a cardiac ultrasound, a brain ultrasound and numerous blood gas studies. Everything was normal with the exception of the blood gas studies that were done when he was NOT receiving supplemental oxygen.

My observation which I shared with the respEARatory doctors on their first visit to the Special Care Nursery was that his oxygen was good (98% or more) when he was awake and feeding, less when quiet and awake and damn scary (mid 80's) when deeply asleep. Still, it took almost 2 weeks and both the ped and them saying that everything looked OK, until he had a "Sleep Study".

SLEEP STUDY: Photo see below "Onion Head" April 27 post.
Lots of wires and probes and sticky pads. It is a wonder anyone can sleep. During the study a continuous stream of data are collected for later analysis: EEG, ECG, oxygen saturation, chest excursions... Initially this is done while the patient receives oxygen (at the level they've "been on" - for Zupe that was 100 ml.) Then, the oxygen is turned off and this data collection continues. Then, well, then, if you're Zupe, you scare the nursing team so badly they crank up the oxygen a mere 7 minutes later to 250 ml!

So, by the next morning (Thurs 21 of April) the gods have spoken and the word is "Zupe needs to go home on continuous oxygen therapy at 250 mls." Also, that "It will take 24 hours to complete the necessary paperwork and then up to 3 days to get the oxygen in place in your home so he can be released." And, "Hey, tomorrow is Good Friday and this year Anzac Day falls on the Easter weekend so no one will be able to even START the paperwork until NEXT WEEK Wednesday."

An earlier enquiry of the sleep study nurses suggested that once oxygen is requested it takes 3 days to get delivery.

Thinking here: request filed on Wednesday. Plus 3 days: Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

"Will oxygen be delivered on a weekend?"

"No."

And, that following weekend is ANOTHER holiday weekend - Labour Day - so that would set us up for delivery on the NEXT TUESDAY!!!!!

Because you are living in a non sequential universe, you know that we got delivery in 1 day and brought Zupe home on Friday.

"FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST! THANK GOD, ALMIGHTY, WE'RE FREE AT LAST" (With acknowledgment to MLK.)

Once home, we removed our "bands of solidarity".

(Photo above...taken when we first learned we'd be in for a long haul in the SCN.)

Water expires precisely in Qld

From Singles 2011

Maybe because it came from the hospital, but can you imagine that this water is "good" until a specific MINUTE in 2012. Sort of makes me wish I had kept it unopened so I could watch what would happen on July 1st at 5:16 PM. Does it turn color? Is there a puff of smoke? Does it bubble? or, do you just curl up your toes and die if you drink it?

Recorded from a bus in Brisbane

Really. I can't make stuff up this good.

SPITTING IS UNACCEPTABLE.
Bus operators are now equipped with DNA kits to assist with the apprehension of offenders.

How is it possible that I resisted the urge to spit? Do you think the driver slams on the breaks? Then, marches down the aisle swabbing the buccal mucosa of each potential spitting passenger?

Spitting is gross - but could this be over-reacting? How often is spitting an issue? Will the fines pay for the cost of buying the equipment for each bus?

Oh, and on an unrelated topic - yet still a sign. This time in the hospital.

Abusive behavio(u)r will not be tolerated - including "excessive intoxication".

Good to know that "just right intoxication" will not be a problem.

Reading to Zuperfliegen

From Singles 2011

Let me begin by saying that I love Kevin. Sometimes, well, rather commonly, we have different ideas about things. For example, I think we should read children's books to Zupe and Kevin - well, Kevin thinks he doesn't understand anything yet, so we should just read OUR books to him.

A rather unromantic idea - but I can understand his logic. So, since I've been struggling to finish Joyce Carol Oates' "Little Bird of Heaven", I picked it up and read to Zupe after his lunch. I had only a page and a half to finish a chapter. I won't put it all here, just a sample.

"In these last staggering minutes of his life my father did not speak, he did not speak to me as if in the urgency of the moment he'd forgotten me, a kind of oblivion had washed over his soul, his hard-as-steel soul and he'd forgotten me, he'd forgotten his wife whom he had so desperately summoned to his side. He'd forgotten his family, his life that had gone bad. For it was his secret knowledge that death is easy, death is so much easier than life. ..I saw Daddy crouching, his shoulders hunched and his head lowered, now his face was turned from me and I could not see if he was smiling, I would never see Daddy's face again and must surrender him now, in his shaky right hand the revolver to be identified in the media as a .38-caliber Smith & Wesson in the illegal possession of Edward Diehl, I saw Daddy step confidently into that blinding light and lift this gun as if about to fire it in a seemingly spontaneous mocking gesture that would be the final gesture of his life."

I don't think it was a good idea.

Attention: We are leaving the linear time line.

I've been gone for a while: weeks if not months. For my own reasons, I want to catch up here. I want to maintain a record of some of my thoughts and experiences. I imagine they won't be particularly meaningful for anyone but myself - and maybe Kevin. And, maybe Zupe, should he ever learn to read and is bored enough to wonder what his parents were up to at the dawn of time. There is some very, very, very small chance that after I catch up - assuming I catch up - I will go back and order these posts.

Yeah. Like that's going to happen.

The Zupe-bird has landed!!

From Zuperfliegen

Defying predictions of another weekend in the hospital, oxygen was arranged and Zuperfliegen came home on Friday!


Finally we are ALL at home! We were concerned that it wouldn't happen until next week . "Tues the 3rd at the earliest"- we were warned on Wednesday of last week. But, we got the paperwork done by Thursday morning and the magic woman at the hospital along with her secret contact at the social agency in charge of the "health card" program pushed everything through so we could get our oxygen and bring him home on Friday.

From Zuperfliegen

Zelda was VERY excited about Zupe. I was a little nervous about how desperately she wanted to get up on the bed so she could inspect him. (Throwing herself up onto the bed which for at least the last 6 months has been too high a jump for her. She made it - without first landing on her back.) I knew she wouldn't bite him - but I thought she might paw at him, scratch him. Because I was getting so anxious, Kevin said he'd take Zelda out for a walk while I fed the baby. She walked for about 2 blocks then turned around. Kevin thought she needed to sniff something she had passed, but she didn't stop. In fact, once she was within sight of the house - she ran! She ran for the a block - pulling Kevin along!

Zupe is on oxygen all the time. He'll have additional sleep studies every 12 weeks. In the history of the sleep clinic, they've only had 1 infant go off oxygen at 3 months. The best case scenario is he'll change to only night-time oxygen at 3 months and then come off at 6 months. Most babies are on oxygen for 9 to 12 months. (I hope he's off as soon as possible, obviously - especially before he decides he wants to be mobile - or start smoking. Damn these baadasssss babies.)

For a full account of Zupe's arrival and subsequent incarceration, I mean, hospitalization, please see my husband's blog, here.

Still singing to Zupe

Welcome here from outer space
The Milky Way is still in your eyes
You found yourself a hopeless case
One that's seeking perfection on earth
That's some kind of rebirth, so