Day 30- A picture

From Photo of me

Have you seen this fish???

From Singles 2011

Yes, I know. You've seen him here on the blog. But, recently. Like, has he moved into a tank near you? Is he hanging from his big sucker lips onto a window? or bowl? or ??

Last week I finally got around to getting him some help with keeping the aquarium glass SPOTLESS as it was obviously a job for two and his buddy, you'll remember, was either murdered or committed suicide a few weeks back. I swear he was in the tank the day before, but I've not spotted him since! I've swished around the plants and "fluffed" the gravel and haven't even seen a corpse or spare fin. Criminy! Did he decide he'd cling to the floating plastic bag and I didn't notice and tossed it and him into the trash??? Am I the prime suspect again in this rash of "fishy tales".

Oh. That hurt.

(By the way - Day 29 - Three wishes. I can't distinguish between hope and wish. All is great and I hope it continues. Three times.)

Day 28- Something that stresses you out

Time.

Time stresses me.

I'm stressed when I'm behind schedule, when I'm running late for an appointment or running "just on time" for one. I'm stressed about missing time with loved ones. Wasting time. Running out of time.

And, clutter.

But, I tolerate the latter better.

Oh, and zombies. My guess is in times of zombie apocalypse, the first two won't bother me as much.

Yes, but there's also missing a meal. That might even supersede the zombie issue.

Day 27- Pets

From Singles 2011

Growing up we had lots of pets: turtles, fish, cats, dogs, parakeets, hamsters, gerbils, and even a cricket for several months until I accidentally killed it taking it to a "Pet Parade". Then, I graduated from high school and entered a long pet free zone. Eight years. It helped that while a grad students I got to study animal behavior and had a whole colony of ring doves to care for. Plus, I spent time watching rats and lemurs and dragonflies and my roommates had cats. Once I left school and entered my adult life - living in apartments - I had apartment pets: fish, birds (Beaker, Big Bird, Modern Physics, Hope, No-Ears, Watts and Ohms) and gerbils (my favorite being Bob - he was OBESE, but a very loving daddy.) I didn't get my first "all my own" dog until I went BACK to school. Vet School.

I think it is safe to assume that if you've read anything from my blog previously or you just know me, you'll know Zelda. She's our now 14 year old (gasp) cocker spaniel and the queen of our home. But, before there was Zelda, there was Victor.

Victor le bon chien - like Zelda I adopted him as a "grown up" dog. Victor, unlike Zelda, was very grown up. I don't think he knew how to play. He certainly didn't chew anything that was not food. But, he was very, very, very good at cuddling. I spent a lot of time studying with him sleeping on my lap or on my chest. He was obsessed with me. Our love was intense.

Like Zelda, I was Victor's (at least) third home. He'd been found on the street prior to landing in the clink in Columbus, Ohio where he was adopted by a grad student in theater. He named Vic. He and Victor had a "routine" - weekly bath and daily change in bandanna. He didn't have Victor long, however, before he moved apartments and was no longer able to keep a dog. I don't know how people get themselves into these situations. But, lucky for me!

Like Zelda, I have many photos of Victor. He was a cooperative boy. Here, alas, I have only two. You've seen the other recently (First Love). Here's (above) our Christmas card from 1998. (He didn't have white spots - that's dust.)

Victor died in February of 1999. He had DCM with AV heart block. (Don't worry about those particulars - I'm just showing off how cool I am to know vet jargon.) His "resting" heart rate was 36. In February he rested too well. I was at work. I believe he died in his sleep- his heart was just too slow. I was heartbroken. He was my heart and soul for only 3 years - though he probably lived to be 15 or so.

From christmas in brisbane

Zelda came from Carolina Cocker Rescue around Easter of the same year. She was two and filled with LIFE! She's still my "very bad girl" though she doesn't jump as high, any more. She had been called Ebony - but I knew she needed the name of a quintessential party girl.

I had no intention of getting another black cocker. They are so hard to photograph - but the other cocker available at that time, a parti colored boy, ran away from home the night before I drove to Charlotte to meet him. Zelda, however, was waiting for me. She'd been trialed in a house with 2 cats previously - and no one got any sleep that night: the chase was ON! and furious! No other comment was made. She was just "brought home". I had taken some dog treats with me. She was(is) initially a bit timid, but food goes a LONG way to breaking down barriers.

So, two black cockers. I don't think they are hard to tell apart even in photos. Certainly, in person Victor was a bigger dog. Victor had the classic cocker "wiggle butt". Victor had some residual facial paralysis. Zelda has those long, low set ears. Victor looked doleful. Zelda has perfected "disdain". Zelda is a Republican.

I hope that somebody reading this is inspired by my beautiful friends and is moved to select their next best friend from the ranks of the orphaned, abandoned, adult rescue dog population. There's a lot of love out there - and it's already housebroken!

From Singles 2011

Day 26- Picture of your family

The challenge with this post is that my family is changing. I can't have a photo of the family I hold in my heart, because I've lost so many of its members. Additionally, sometimes people just can't/don't make it to a party or holiday gathering.

Given these limitations, here are the photos.

The first one comes from our wedding in 2003.

From Singles 2011

The second is from Christmas about 1985. There are cousins missing and Renee - still, it is one of my favorite group shots.

From Singles 2011

Day 25- Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs

OK. Another cheat.

I'm using my i-tunes AND eliminating all the Stevie Wonder tunes. Nothing against Mr. Wonder - but Kevin has loaded the ENTIRE Stevie Wonder discography onto my i-tunes and ...

I don't know how to start randomly - so the first song played is the first in my music list:

1. Al Jarreau "Moonlighting (Theme)"
- 4 Stevie Wonder songs
2. Laurie Anderson "White Lily"
3. Kate Rusby "The Sleepless Sailor"
- Stevie Wonder "Always"
4. Mouth Music "Mile Marbh'aisg Air A'Ghaol"
5. Laurie Anderson "The Statue of Liberty"
6. Scott Walker "30 Century Man" from "The Life Aquatic with Steve
- Stevie Wonder
7. George Benson "Nature Boy"
- Stevie Wonder
8. Collin Hay "Children on Parade"
- Stevie Wonder - four more songs
9. Solomon Burke "Presents for Christmas"
- Stevie Wonder - five more songs
10. Elbow "Weather to Fly"

So, that would be 16 Stevie Wonder tunes. That's probably a fair reflection of just how much he is over-represented here. I just wasn't up to that much Wonder this morning.

Day 24-Something you've learned

Without even trying, I seem to have learned my times 12 table - all the way to 12 x 12.

Wow.

Day 23- Favorite vacation

From Singles 2011

Let's see. It must have been about 1992. October. I was working at the College of Wooster. It was fall break. My parents, sister, and I had made a plan to spend the holiday on the Outer Banks of North Carolina.

My mom and dad picked me up from Wooster and then we tooled down I71 to Columbus - stopping at The Leaf for a piece of pie - to pick up Renee. We were all giddy with excitement. We planned a 2 day drive down with our first stop in Virginia.

This is where my parents, while unpacking the car, recognized that they had bags from Renee and I - and my mother's breathing machine/drug/emergency bag - but no suitcase of clothing for themselves. We all found this to be hilarious. Their suitcase was still waiting on the bed in Versailles. They were hundreds of miles away, preparing to "holiday" in dirty socks and underwear.

Does it sound amusing? Maybe you had to be there.

The next day involved a stop at a local shopping center to pick up undergarments and outer garments. No big deal. Just clothes - we are on VACATION.

We stayed in Kitty Hawk - (That's the birthplace of aviation for you Australians - where Orville and Wilbur Wright, both good ole boys from Dayton, Ohio - flew their first manned flight.) It is an area of sandy dunes. It is are area of windy, sandy dunes. See photo above. I love this photo! Look how happy everyone is.

From Singles 2011

Despite the coats and hats you'll see, on the beach the water was still warm and the days sunny. Renee and I played a game of racing the waves into shore. You had to touch the incoming wave and then run! trying to keep ahead. My mother sat further up on shore with a video camera. At one point she noted that the wave coming in was going to be much larger than the others had been and she tried to get our attention. To warn us.

She needed to warn herself. We were fine. The wave, however, washed in, up and past her, carrying away the video camera bag and sending her sprawling onto her back.

This is all on film, mind you. Great "you were there moment" of water rushing to land and then the picture flips suddenly up to the sky. With screaming.

I had so much fun. It was the last holiday I took with my family as a whole. After, I traveled a bit with my mom and dad - but Renee, old married lady, never again left her husband to come along. I cherish the memory of playing again. Simple. Joyful. Play.

And, the red beans and rice at the local Caribbean restaurant!

Day 22- What's in your makeup bag

From Singles 2011

As strange as it will seem to people who know me - this is the day entry that made me want to do this project.

I have no makeup bag. I have my dad's old shaving bag that has 2 boxes of very, very old contact lenses and saline solution.

I have a really pretty make up bag that I received for Christmas from my friend Carolyn a couple years ago. Just can't figure out what to put IN it. I have it set aside to take to the hospital with us. That's assuming I put something in it first. Maybe my ipod. Maybe some candies.

For years when I did sort of have a make up bag (I think it was still that shaving bag above) I had something it it... Blue Foundation. We bought it to make Zombie photos.

See above.

Day 20- Nicknames

My nicknames have all come from my family. I suppose that is probably common. I'm not sure. I always thought a nickname was pretty cool and hoped someone at school would give me one. Though, I guess, I'd only want a nice one.

My mother on occasion called me "Practice model". When she was not so happy with me, "Problem child". She must have a thing for double name nicknames and the letter "P".

My Grandmother was the only one to call me "Annie". And, that's the way I want to keep it. Please.

My father either called me "Anushka" or "Katrina". Except, of course, when he was confused about which daughter I was, then I might me "An-ay".

Day 21- Picture of yourself

From Photo of me

On Sunday. With a little help from photoshop.

Day 19- Something you miss

I miss having seasons; four distinct seasons each characterized by its own beauty. I miss the way they illustrate the passage of time - marching ever onward, always a sense of exhilaration for what lies ahead. Here, where the days go from a bit longer to way shorter and the temperature sways between god-awful hot to pleasant to coolish and the exact identity of what flower is blooming cycles, time whizzes past without a reminder to stop and take note, without anticipation, without joy.

Day 18- Something you regret

From Singles 2011

–verb (used with object)
1. to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.): He no sooner spoke than he regretted it.
2. to think of with a sense of loss: to regret one's vanished youth.

Another topic that I got hung up on. I wrote a first draft outlining my regrets about relationships that should have ended much, much, much sooner and those that I should have stuck with, jobs I should have hung onto and jobs I should have quit before anyone got hurt, missing opportunities because I was too anxious about exposing myself or change. Add on to this, the regret that I've not come to terms with these regrets nor have I developed any greater capacity to ask for what I need. But, then, yesterday while I was doing my BIG SPRING CLEANING (despite it being the start of autumn here in the Southern Hemisphere), I realized the biggest regret I have. I regret that my father will never meet our son.

You can see in the photo above how enthralled and patient he was with little children. While everyone else (who've been cut out of the photo) is just standing about, he's bent over closely so he can see the miracle that little Martha has in her hands. He would have loved to have a little boy. They would have had such fun together. He could have taught Zupe so much - particularly, how to love a child.

Day 17- Something you're looking forward to

From Singles 2011

Going home.

I haven't been home since July when we picked up Zuperfliegen and I am ready for a refill. I don't really care what the season - spring, summer, fall. There's no chance I'll make it for winter this year, however. I can imagine all sorts of wonderful things I might do: May is my birthday, June is Poultry days, July is full of fresh vegetables, August is fair season, September and October with autumn leaves and beautiful blue skies and crisp, clear, cool evenings - and Halloween! November has Thanksgiving and December, Christmas. I can't miss. I am so ready.

Day 16 - Dream house

From Singles 2011

Let us start with the obvious. There are no spiders in my dream house. No snakes in the attic, either, or roaches in the toaster. I'd rather not have geckos pooing on my walls. Is this too much to ask?

Kevin and I make regular trips to check out local "Open Houses" and discuss what we like and what we don't. We agree: We like Central Air Conditioning. We like garages that have doors that lead into the house. We like screens on windows. We like bedrooms where there's room between the bed and the wall on three sides! We like two story houses. We don't like the idea that a tiny little house that includes spiders, geckos, bedrooms where you can't fit a chest of drawers, and only the occasional room air conditioner costs $400,000. Really. And, there's no guarantee there isn't a carpet python in the attic.

So, I must start with my dream house is located in a far away land.

Size - for the two of us, 1400 sq feet was spacious. We might need a little more - but ideal is certainly no McMansion. Four bedrooms or three and a study. A kitchen with lots of light and enough counter space so I could cook without first washing any dishes that had piled up...not that things like that happen. (I meant the dishes, not the cooking...though...) We need a comfortable game room with easy access to a toilet and good sound insulation from the place I might be sleeping. I want a porch with a swing. And, I've already mentioned the sincere pumpkin patch and Christmas tree field. I've seen blueprints of houses built around a central courtyard - that's pretty cool, too.

I don't care much whether the floors are carpeted or hardwood - particularly since in a dream house there is a dream housekeeper who will keep the floors vacuumed and mopped and the furniture and baseboards dusted. They might let me paint walls - or at least help for an hour or so. And, I'm allowed to put nails in the walls and hang art.

I did mention the central air conditioning, didn't I? We'll need a furnace, as well, since I'm living in a four season climate. (Don't worry, Kevin. The staff can shovel snow and the garage is attached so our car won't need to be de-iced each morning.)

The master bedroom is large enough to have a chair with good lighting and a little table to hold my book and cup of tea as well as having both a closet AND a chest of drawers or two.

There's a deep tub for soaking and a shower with one head low for me and one high for Kevin.

The house is far enough removed from neighbors that the curtains never need to be closed unless someone feels that makes the space cozy.

At one point I wanted a dark room. I'm not sure any more. I don't think I'd use it often enough. I will still want the greenhouse, however.

You, of course, are welcome to come to visit or stay for a while - particularly if you like to cook. We can stroll through the gardens, sip iced tea on the porch, or cocoa by the fire. You'll just have to prepared to share your bed with Zelda.

Day 15- Verse

Here's a poem my Grandmother used to recite. She enjoyed poetry and read or recited a number of children's poems to her grandchildren. Obviously, since this one ALMOST has my name, it was a favorite of mine. She was such of fan of James Whitcomb Riley - I remember visiting his home in Indiana.


LITTLE ORPHANT ANNIE

by: James Whitcomb Riley (1849-1916)

INSCRIBED WITH ALL FAITH AND AFFECTION

To all the little children: -- The happy ones; and sad ones;
The sober and the silent ones; the boisterous and glad ones;
The good ones -- Yes, the good ones, too; and all the lovely bad ones.

LITTLE Orphant Annie's come to our house to stay,
An' wash the cups an' saucers up, an' brush the crumbs away,
An' shoo the chickens off the porch, an' dust the hearth, an' sweep,
An' make the fire, an' bake the bread, an' earn her board-an'-keep;
An' all us other childern, when the supper-things is done,
We set around the kitchen fire an' has the mostest fun
A-list'nin' to the witch-tales 'at Annie tells about,
An' the Gobble-uns 'at gits you
Ef you
Don't
Watch
Out!

Wunst they wuz a little boy wouldn't say his prayers,--
An' when he went to bed at night, away up-stairs,
His Mammy heerd him holler, an' his Daddy heerd him bawl,
An' when they turn't the kivvers down, he wuzn't there at all!
An' they seeked him in the rafter-room, an' cubby-hole, an' press,
An' seeked him up the chimbly-flue, an' ever'-wheres, I guess;
But all they ever found wuz thist his pants an' roundabout:--
An' the Gobble-uns 'll git you
Ef you
Don't
Watch
Out!

An' one time a little girl 'ud allus laugh an' grin,
An' make fun of ever' one, an' all her blood-an'-kin;
An' wunst, when they was "company," an' ole folks wuz there,
She mocked 'em an' shocked 'em, an' said she didn't care!
An' thist as she kicked her heels, an' turn't to run an' hide,
They wuz two great big Black Things a-standin' by her side,
An' they snatched her through the ceilin' 'fore she knowed what she's about!
An' the Gobble-uns 'll git you
Ef you
Don't
Watch
Out!

An' little Orphant Annie says, when the blaze is blue,
An' the lamp-wick sputters, an' the wind goes woo-oo!
An' you hear the crickets quit, an' the moon is gray,
An' the lightnin'-bugs in dew is all squenched away,--
You better mind yer parunts, an' yer teachurs fond an' dear,
An' churish them 'at loves you, an' dry the orphant's tear,
An' he'p the pore an' needy ones 'at clusters all about,
Er the Gobble-uns 'll git you
Ef you
Don't
Watch
Out!

Day 14- A picture you love

Really? One picture. I've got one for each season - plus two of my favorite photographs.



The first painting of the goldfish (Matisse)- this poster has been hanging in my home (well, in the my US homes) since graduate school. I love the color - and the fish never die.

For summer - an O'Keefe sunflower. Sunflowers always make me happy.

For fall (Van Gogh) - what color!

For winter (Monet) - I sent this as a Christmas card one year. It captures and beauty and the isolation of winter. It is wonderful!

Photo 1 - This reminds me how much fun I have with my family. Probably taken about 1983 - I had to borrow the black coat and sunglasses. I'm not as cool as my mom or Renee.

Photo 2 - Kevin as a sophomore at OSU. He has his honest and unguarded smile. These fresh moments have been so difficult to capture for me.

Day 13-Goals

I'm not a very good goal setter. I recognize the value in setting goals but I'm filled with trepidation whenever I set pen to paper with the word "GOALS" scribbled atop the sheet. Seems it works that way with electronic pages, as well. So, I've been thinking - kinda like you might imagine a person peeking through fingertips at a bloody scene on the movie screen - and I have some glimpses. And, then there's my concern that if I forget a goal, I've missed my opportunity and will never be allowed to achieve it. Feel free to pull on your amateur psychologist hat and...whatever amateur psychologists do. Walk in the rain?

1. Raise a healthy, happy and well-adjusted son. Not sure how that is done. Good food, plenty of sleep, exposure to lots of ideas, art, and love.

2. Reduce suffering and maximize wellness. Treat all, whether two or four legged, with compassion.

3. Move. Someday I want my own sincere pumpkin patch and a small plot of Christmas trees. You know, the essentials.

4. Create something meaningful or beautiful - preferably on a regular basis. Given my basic insecurity I'd hope someone else might find it worthy, too.

5. Return to my daily practice of qi gong.

6. Eat more vegetables.

7. Express gratitude. Recognize all the gifts I'm given every day.

OK - I'm now 5 days behind. Best to most this and move on.

Day 12-What you believe

I believe what my cousin Todd taught me while water skiing - "If you are going to fall, fall funny...(throw yourself into an endeavor without worry about what you might look like or what others might say) so we can laugh at you." (Bringing joy and laughter is important. Know how to laugh at yourself.)

I believe what I once read on a bumper sticker. "Life's too short to dance with ugly people." Don't get hung up on or tied to judgemental, belittling, hurtful people. (This has nothing to do with physical appearance, or really, even, dancing....though I do believe in dancing.)

I believe in a liberal education. I believe in libraries. I believe in reading, writing, arts, mathematics and SCIENCE. Blind me, baby.

I believe in generosity with respect to material "wealth", patience, acceptance, and affection. I believe in love. I believe in friendship.

I believe in learning from mistakes. The best stories come from error and pain.

I believe in three good meals a day - everyday. I believe in fresh fruits and vegetables. I believe in going to bed and rising early. Then, do something useful. Create love or beauty or further understanding. I am not a believer in between meal snacks....

I believe every dog should be loved and made part of a family. Dogs should not be left to suffer alone. Everyone needs a cuddle. Cats, they're different - they vary too much to make a blanket statement. Ultimately, I wish safe and secure lives for all creatures.

I believe I am imperfect and that I have no time to worry about imperfection. I believe those that know me best will find it easy to find times when my behavior has fallen short of my beliefs. I believe tomorrow will be a new day.

*The photo - that was taken during the aforementioned water skiing lesson. I never was successful at standing on my skis. I hope I managed to fall funny enough.

Day 11-Favorite TV shows

Kevin and I are pretty fond of TV - though we also think we are very particular about what we watch. This list is going to be largely current or recent programs with only a couple older programs.

"Star Trek." Now, this may not be most people's idea of great television and it is likely if I were to watch it now I'd find it most cheesy, but when I was a kid I LOVED "Star Trek". I not only watched every episode but I collected and read all the "books". For the record, I've never watched anything but the original series.

"SOAP". Re watched this series a year or two ago. Not as magical as my memory, but significant enough to make the list.

"The Bob Newhart Show". Kevin and I have watched a few episodes of both this and "The Mary Tyler Moore Show". In 2011, "Bob" wins hands down.

"Seinfeld" and Seinfeld on steroids, "Curb Your Enthusiasm". It's a tough road to walk making a show about unlikeable characters who are fun enough to be sort-of likable.

"Saturday Night Live" - the early, early, early years- Gilda Radner, Chevy Chase, Bill Murray, Eddie Murphy, Jane Curtin, Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi... After that, I got to be too old to stay up that late.

"The X Files". I love Fox and Scully - what great monsters!

"The Shield", "The Sopranos", and "Breaking Bad" - excellent on the edge of your seat stories featuring interesting leading men. Antiheroes all the way.

"Arrested Development" - most likely THE best comedy series ever created. We gained so much more appreciation for the show by watching it in its 3 season entirety two years ago.

"The Wire" - best drama - not a weak season.

"The Office" (excepting this last season), "Community", "Modern Family". We build our week around modern comedy.

Maybe, "Frisky Dingo". It was a lot of absurdist fun.

What have I forgotten?....