Sunday, August 28, 2011

Another one bites the dust...

From Singles 2011


This photo appears in my photoblog. I shot it the day I unpacked my new kettle in mid June. I'm in that photo as is Zupe.

Today, I tossed that kettle into the "bin". Yep. It died. Without ever boiling it dry or dropping it from the roof or running over it with the car. It's a curse. Please tell Kevin it's not my fault.

I'm considering going back to the whistling kettle on the stove variety. They aren't as fast or as energy efficient, but they have a much longer shelf-life.

Argh!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Living Dead

From Singles 2011


Loving my new book of short (zombie) stories. I'm very tempted to post the entire story "When the Zombies Win". It is more a poem. Truly a beautiful piece.

"Living with the Dead" by Molly Brown

The first thing that happens when the dead start waking is not that they go on a rampage like you wee in the movies, it's that you find out all your insurance policies are worthless. Sam Jenkins had a life insurance policy with his wife as the beneficiary, but the insurance company refused to pay out because they said Sam didn't meet their definition of dead.
Then Alic's mother got a huge bill from the hospital because her daughter -- being officially deceased -- was no longer covered by her health insurance.

She tried giving them vegetables, but the dead won't touch them. If you ask her, she'll tell you that no matter how hard she tries, she cannot get the dead to eat broccoli.

"When the Zombies Win" by Karina Sumner-Smith

When the zombies win, they will not fear. They will not laugh or rejoice, they will not regret, they will not mourn. And the world will turn and turn, seasons burning and freezing across the landscape, the sun flashing through the sky, and they will continue.
When the zombies win, they will not stop. They will still moan and cry and whisper, on and on until the lips rot from their faces, their vocal cords slide away...
One by one they will stop moving, flesh and bone and brain too broken to do anything more. And in that silence and stillness they will struggle--trapped and ruined, they will still yearn, still hunger, always reaching for that which was taken from them. That which they granted to so many of us, in such great numbers.
To stop. To sleep. To rest, just rest, and let the darkness come.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Thanks Mom!

From Singles 2011


My mother does not have cable TV. She has never had cable TV. She lives in a tiny little town in the middle of a corn field, alone, and watches programs from the 3 major networks and PBS. Well, actually, since the arrival of digital television, those few channels have expanded in number and so she gets some odd "Ohio" channel where she can watch, apparently any time of year, the highlights from the Ohio State Fair. (I myself on a recent visit got to watch both some dog agility trials AND a sheep shearing competition featuring both local Ohio and INTERNATIONAL shearers!)

This is not because she COULD NOT have cable TV. She just chooses not to. Too expensive. She's investing in Smucker's Seedless Black Raspberry Jelly. A person needs to know her priorities.

So, as a consequence, she watches a lot of public television. And, since she is home alone now, she is known to watch some TV during the DAY. (Don't let her know that I told you this!) One of the "new" programs that she's particularly fond of is "America's Test Kitchen". (I think she's like me. She enjoys eating and watching other people cook. Probably in that order.) Because she had some question about a recipe at one point, I went to their website. I tried to access the information, but you have to be a member. I signed up for the newsletter - but that wasn't enough. So, she never got that particular recipe.

I, however, just learned a VERY IMPORTANT LIFE LESSON.

If you store tomatoes upside down (with their stem and shoulders on the counter top), they will ripen without dehydrating so much. OBVIOUSLY, I learned this JUST A LITTLE TOO LATE. But, such is the way with IMPORTANT LIFE LESSONS!

This is how much I hate doing taxes!

From Singles 2011


Kevin is off watching "Conan the Barbarian". I am supposed to be doing our US taxes. This has been my number one priority since the first of August. That's why there have been NO blog entries. Must focus.

And, I will get them done! I will!

Right after lunch.

Living alone I created my "dish to plate" ratio for meals. Maximum 2:1. Maximum. Otherwise, you're doing too many dishes.

Dishwashing, however, beats taxes. Rock smashes scissors. Paper crushes rock.

Wednesday, August 03, 2011