Zupe's first video

This morning while enjoying his bottle Zupe, for the first time ever, noticed the computer screen. He's had lots of opportunities - 3 seasons of "Breaking Bad", weekly episodes of "Game of Thrones" and "The Killing". Even videos on youtube from "Sesame Street". Nothing caught his eye....until now.

What does it mean? Have my not so subtle hints ("dancer not football player") found their mark in an early appreciation for Bob Fosse? Or, is he just drawn to leggy, busty, "easy" women?

Time will tell.

"So, let me get right to the point..."

Winter solstice

From Jun 20, 2011

Seems like time to put away the (largely unworn) summer clothes and take the winter ones out of storage.

This is probably* the hardest time of year for me. The days have grown quite short and the nights are sincerely cool. These changes prompt in me a quickening of my heart as I begin to count the days til Christmas.

But, alas. It is June.

And, so I am mourning the loss of my internally expected Christmas and the fact I'm missing another "summer".

It is all very illogical. Yet, I am unsettled.

*Note: In December I'll tell you that is my hardest time as Christmas comes but without the season or my family.

The horror of babies...

I'm convinced that much of the genre of horror was created by observing and experiencing babies - both before and after birth. This is not to say that I don't love Zuperfliegen - and I wish you'd stop telling him that - you'll give him a complex. Still, as wondrous and remarkable as the experience is, there are elements that are very, very creepy.

Take the images revealed by ultrasound. I'd like to meet the person in whom the following creates feelings of love or attraction.

From self portraits

Our first ultrasound (6 weeks). He's only a few centimeters long ("the size of a lentil") and per my memory of biology class he's got gills (or maybe he used to have gills...).

From Singles 2011

And, so, in my mind he's really pretty much a "sea monkey" and I expected I might see him pushing a little sea monkey vacuum like the pictures on the sea monkey ads in the back of Mad Magazine when I was a kid. No vacuum. No cute little apron. This one isn't particularly scary but it does bring home thoughts of possession. There's something alive inside...quiet but lurking. (And the gills, think "Creature from the Black Lagoon".)

From Singles 2011

From Zuperfliegen

Ultrasound 2 (12 weeks) This is where things start getting creepy. Check out those big hollow, scary eyes. Certainly this visage inspired the big-eyed aliens of the "I've been abducted, lost time, and have a chip in my neck" variety.

From Singles 2011

(Unless, of course, they are real.)

Then, a couple of months later...he starts to move. Move and get much, much bigger. Move in such a way that I'd jump, startled, and hold my breath waiting for my abdomen to erupt. You saw "Alien", right?
And, "Loaf"? (You'll have to ask Kevin if you want to see this one.)

From Zuperfliegen

His last ultrasound photos show only disembodied limbs. This is what I'm waiting to bring into our lives? (Though on a more positive note, by the end even though we were both huge, he moved frequently enough that I no longer screamed out loud.)

From art plus

Birth. Obviously horrific. Zupe was zombie personified.

After birth he's still a horror. From the kitchen while he's "sleeping", I hear under-the-breath-murmurs, quiet grave statements which could easily have been lifted from Linda Blair in "The Exorcist".

From Ohio Spring!

And, then there's feeding: ravenous, gape-mouthed, attacking in a purposeful, driven though uncoordinated frenzy.

Best Birthday, Ever!

From Singles 2011

For my big day Kevin shared his Dominion winnings and took Zupe and me out to dinner at Sizzler Steak House. We had a great time - including Zupe who found it a fine place to snooze. After dinner Kevin gave me my very heavy present.

Fifty Cocolo Dark Chocolate Mint bars - each stuffed with one reason why he loves me. (I cried.)

Since time has not yet been re-established here, I've already opened 4 bars:

#1. You were born! (And thus Love entered the world (again) and eventually Wonder entered my life.) Happy 50th Birthday!

#32. You are willing to play games.

#7. You love me back.

#15. You brought Zelda into my life (or something to that effect - I can't find the slip.)


(Note- #1 may not be exactly right. Zelda chewed up the note and I've tried to piece it back together. She loves me, too.)

Australian Baby Names

We saw this book recently at a "Baby Market" - like a giant flea market of baby and children's items - not including rocking chairs... Anyway, since we'd already named Zupe, and some would say and have said we'd overnamed him, we didn't need this book. Though we were very, very curious.

According to the Internet description - it includes 5,000 entries listed clearly in alphabetical order.

How many ways ARE THERE for listing Bruce five thousand times???

NPR Blanket Project: Is this why we are denied??

From September 2014

The 'Beginnings' Series: Upload And Submit Your Baby Blanket Photos


June 27, 2011 For our series Beginnings, we're working on a story about a blanket many of you will be familiar with. It's a white flannel blanket, with pink and blue stripes. It's the standard receiving blanket in many hospitals across the country.

As part of our project, we're collecting photos – like the one here – of babies swaddled in this specific blanket.

While you might think we'd have figured this out before, we only recently discovered that Zupe, being something other than a "blood relative" is not automatically eligible for US citizenship.  Seems you've either got to share some blood or be swaddled at birth in one of those American blankets.

Damn those polka dots!

Preparing for the paparazzi

From Zuperfliegen

or maybe just practicing concealing his identity in case "the man" comes looking.

Irony: the greatest force in the universe

From Zuperfliegen

Kevin tells me this ALL THE TIME.

Case in point.

For YEARS I have been confessing to Kevin that I'd really be interested in, let's see, this is awkward here - though surprisingly easy to say to Kevin - OK....interested in seeing an abdominal exploratory surgery on him. He's not shaped like a dog. At all. Or, a cat.

Then, WHO is it that is getting their abdomen incised? and WHO will be in the "audience"???

CRAP.

I thought FOR SURE there would be a big mirror hung in surgery so that I could watch Zupe being pulled from my abdomen. If you've got to have a C-section, that seemed like the least they could do! And, I must confess (again) that I'd been imagining where I'd make that incision as I watched my ever expanding abdomen...

BUT

no mirror.

And, no audience. Kevin had to sit behind the "curtain" with me (or at least the seeing part of me) until it was all over. The camera got passed to the anaesthetist's assistant....who did get some good shots. The best, little baby zombie Zupe, we've not put on line for fear of inducing panic in the general population...but if you're very, very brave...

What I need to remember

From Zuperfliegen

Don't leave the scissors in the baby's cage...no bed

While affectionate, it is probably best to stop calling Zupe "Puppy" and "Princess". Oh, and maybe no more "You're a good dog".

It is a crib or cot or bassinet or bed... not a cage. (Must repeat this.)

...."is harder with a baby on oxygen"

Australia has a very, very good community health program - at least for new babies and their mothers. The great staff at the Mater's Mother's Hospital set me up with them when they discharged Zupe and a nurse came by for a home visit about 2 weeks after we got home. She gave Zupe a physical: weighed and measured him. Then, she set us up with an infant feeding day long session and a weekly mother's group.

Well, she didn't immediately set us up with the latter. In fact, she wasn't sure "which group" would be best for us because "babies with oxygen tend to monopolize the conversation".

Now, that probably doesn't strike you as funny since you are convinced I DO monopolize our conversations. This, however, is all your doing. You COULD press that comment button and have your say. I'd be thrilled, in fact, to know I wasn't talking to myself. I do that all day long - usually in my head, but recently more times out loud telling myself I am "talking to Zupe." In reality I have NEVER been accused of monopolizing any conversation. I'm much more likely to be criticized for failing to participate in said conversation.

Still, it did provide a chuckle to Kevin and me. And, it was Kevin who noted that I could just end any sentence with "...harder with a baby on oxygen." He thinks it is almost as amusing as ending fortune cookie fortunes with "in bed".

So, I've been - let me start again - WE'VE been to two meetings. I DID mention my son was on oxygen - twice: first when I introduced him (I thought that people might be interested/concerned/curious as to why we carry an oxygen cylinder and decorate his cheeks with tape.) and secondly when we were asked to comment on how the experience of giving birth/being a mother differed from our expectations. (In hindsight I could have said more: I didn't expect to need an induction. (I did expect to go beyond 40 weeks...) I didn't expect that after the induction I would need a c-section. I didn't expect my son would hardly eat for almost 5 days, would sleep almost all the time, would spend 3 weeks in the hospital, would need 24 hour oxygen support...) Given the nurse's comment I may have been less willing to discuss the oxygen, in fact.

One of the major concerns with mother's is settling their crying baby. Why does she cry? Why won't he stop? Help!! I made the very foolish (in retrospect) statement that Zupe is very easy. He doesn't cry except when he's hungry. He eats and then he goes to sleep. On his own. No fuss. Just put him in his bed and he "self settles."
Foolish because we've yet to spend an entire visit there (about 2 hours) without him screaming for AT LEAST 45 minutes of that time. I hold him. I talk with him. I bounce him. I put him in his stroller. I pick him up.... The scream continues. He isn't hungry. He JUST ATE minutes ago. I think he's picked up his dad's respect for irony (the strongest force in the universe.)

Damn them both.

What was that all about?

That last post - about "Versailles". You may remember in 2009 I found a short film had been set in Versailles, Ohio. (Comedy, of course.) We never did find it on line to watch - The web site (mydamnchannel.com) has chopped the film into 6 - maybe it was 8 - installments. They've been publicizing it on Facebook, among other places, and I became its "friend". The question the post began with was posed by the "Versailles" page - and I tried to respond there - but Facebook thought I was too wordy, I guess. Anyway, they deleted initially part and then all of my post. So, because I was so pleased with myself I posted it here. (Well, there. Down below this post....)

In the time that has past since I wrote my response I have figured out that it doesn't really matter. No one is going to create Evelyn's back story. I am not going to become a Versailles legend. (Well, at least not for this.)

But, it is all good. The story had to be told somewhere