Thursday, June 11, 2015

My life of crime

I thought I'd begin my life of crime yesterday.   Well, I suppose not.  I suppose like most hardened criminals, something just happened and, there I was, a fugitive on the lam.  (Note - not on the lamb - they run much too slowly.)

I was filling up the car at the local service station and mulling over whether Zupe really needed a flu vaccine and if I had time to run all my errands and still make the 2 PM school pick up and then I found myself driving out of the parking lot.  I entered the currently not so busy road and thought,

"Hey.  Did I pay for that gasoline?"  (I love saying gasoline here.  People find it so irritating.)

I quickly reviewed my memory and couldn't see myself going into the shop to pay.

So, there I am on Beams Road with a big slab of concrete between the right and left lanes, the east and west-bound lanes, and no obvious near-by turn around spots.  The light ahead was red and I did what I had to do.  U-TURN.  Driving west now toward home - but there is still that slab of concrete between me and the service station.  It (the concrete) does end before I get all the way home and so, continuing on my life of crime, I made a second illegal U-TURN, buzzed back up east back to the "Woolworth's Petrol" station, and into the spot in which my life of crime began.

I ran into the station shop and waited.  Waited and wondered:

a.  why does it take so long for someone to come out from wherever they hide to take my money
b.  are those sirens in the distance?

Turns out the clerk was busy watching my criminal activity on her video recording and no.

"You're lucky.  I haven't called the cops yet."

My felonious behavior could all have been prevented by a simple pay-at-the-pump system - but here in Oz they pride themselves on growing crims and selling an unnecessary candy bar at every fuel purchase.

All this reminds me - the new season of "Orange is the New Black" returns this weekend!  Hello sisters!

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