Thursday, February 12, 2009

Kevin. Ned Kelly. Separated at Birth?

From Singles 2009

It is a disappointment to both of us that we can't point with pride to any felonious forebears. I have a great grandfather who was a philanderer, but that doesn't seem to count here. Like any good Australian, Kevin has embarked on his own legacy of crime, crime, crime. Kevin has specialized (specialised) in vehicular infringements: cruising with nonchalance through once yellow lights (now red) and cavalierly traveling at the speed of sound through the urban landscape. (He has drawn the line at parking in handicap spots. Still holding onto some of that American puritanism. Oh, and he hasn't got the hang of doing all this while under the influence of the Aussie god of Alcohol.) Just before he left for OTB, he spotted a pulse of bright light while preparing to cross the Story Bridge. Could it be? Was this going to mark the moment when he filled his dance card with his final demerit??

As you recall, I stayed home during most of the time Kevin was in NSW. Stayed home, brought the mail in, and STILL didn't recognize the award coming from the State of Queensland. I was looking for something in a nice big, cardboard envelope which would contain the citation - suitable for framing.

But, it was just a little, unremarkable, flimsy white envelope. (Australia has the most unimpressive envelopes in the civilized world, I'm convinced. Not an extra fiber is wasted to create the paper and anything I send to the US needs to have sticky tape applied to all the edges or else they invariably are sliced open in transit.)

So, Kevin's choices:
1. "Do Over" - Take 3 months off from driving (license suspended) at which time the slate would be wiped clean and he'd be free to accrue driving demerits with only $$ at stake, once again.
2. "Good Behavior" - Drive like a deacon (not demon) for the next 12 months adding, at most, one more demerit point during that time. More than one = automatic license suspension for 6 months.
3. "Ned Kelly" -
a. Take the license suspension but continue to drive.
b. Choose the good behavior option but continue to drive like, um, Ned Kelly.
c. Rip the notice into shreds and commission a suit of armor!

I hate to tell you, but Kevin is NO Ned Kelly. He'll be good. I'll be driving for the next 3 months.

From Singles 2009

P.S. By the way, these are/were our really cool Halloween costumes this year- that nobody got to see.

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