I Was Told There'd Be Cake

From Singles 2010

"We were brainwashed and we loved it. Every Saturday night the entire camp marched into a clearing in the woods, where we lit a gigantic bonfine. Four girls were selected each week to dip torches into the crackling fireball. Each torch represented a moral category at which we aimed to excel: Friendship, Cleanliness, Sportsmanship, and Love. What they really were were long sticks we'd find in the woods the evening before. We'd wrap the ends in extra-large overnight maxi pads and roast them in the flames as we said our prayers. Then we'd hold them above our heads, imagining how embarrassing it would be to explain that one's death - or worse, one's disfigurement - came from a flaming maxi pad to the face."